


GOOD GIRL

by rvnclwhre



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Blood, Choking, Classroom Sex, Competition, Drug Use, Drugs, F/M, Halloween, Happy Ending, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hogwarts Prefects' Bathroom, Kinks, Knives, Original Character(s), Party, Porn With Plot, Post-War, Praise Kink, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Smut, Spanking, Swearing, Threesome - F/M/M, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Voyeurism, a sex competition, degrading, hella kinky, hogwarts ties as blindfolds, its more like a sex triangle, it’s not a love triangle, not a slow burn, ooc shit, tying each other up with their ties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:13:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 60,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29332113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rvnclwhre/pseuds/rvnclwhre
Summary: ‘And in this moment, she hates herself, hates how much she loves to watch storms. The thundering, the lightning and she could sit at her windowsill for hours while they erupt. The chaos happening around her, calming her.’~Back in Hogwarts, following the events of the war, a girl finds herself struggling to to come to terms with what happened. But, one fateful night she becomes tangled in a knotted mess with two boys, quite literally.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s), Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott/Original Female Character(s), Theodore Nott/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 83





	1. Who are you?

**Author's Note:**

> Smut with a little plot || not a slow burn and not a long story.
> 
> Look, it's not the best but some people are enjoying it and told me I should post it on here too, so here you are.

~*~

**5th September 1998**

Deafening, the music filling her ears. All around are happy people, smiles, and laughter. Drunken teenagers spilling drinks, the floor flooding with each one. The windows might as well burst through, let The Black Lake pour in, drown her and fill her lungs.

Cheering in her head, let it fill her lungs!

How are people so happy? How do they all just carry on with everything and live like this when so much fucking shit literally happened only four fucking months ago. Can people really move on that quickly?

She can't, no matter what she does. She can't. It's always there in the back of her mind.

Forced to come, she doesn't want to be here, she'd much rather sleep, read, even go for a late-night walk around the castle and freeze to death, she's only wearing a skimpy dress after all. It'd be a long and painful death, she'd feel something. She'd do anything if it meant she could be alone too and away from these insufferable idiots.

All living in their imaginary worlds in a castle that has only just been put back to-bloody-gether.

She fought hard, avoided several curses, fired a fair few out herself, protected herself with _Protego_ too. Was even almost hit by that dreaded green flash that she saw kill classmates. Felt like she had good input in winning too, back in the Room of Requirement talking about the Diadem from her house, agreeing with Luna.

Yet here she is, desperately trying hard to not down the whole bottle of Firewhiskey her shaking hands are wrapped around. Let it wipe her memory, a more suitable method to _Obliviate._

Children, the lot of them. Immature, ignoring the reality happening around them, she's not. She's fully aware that one of her friends died just right outside this common room. She watched it happen.

A flash of white shines onto her face suddenly, making her raise her hand and cover her blinded eyes. She hates those lights, every fucking party leaves her with bright spots behind her closed eyelids for a few days. What's the fucking point? It's dark in here, she likes that ambience but when they add the lights it's too lively for her liking.

The floor is vibrating, the chandelier is shaking. The crowd shuffling and moving around to a Muggle song she heard a lot over the summer, girls trying way too hard to impress the boys around them. Someones brought a vinyl player with them, a Muggle invention she's heard of, she likes them. Add an _Amplifying Charm_ and it's pulsating through the room. She's open to Muggle things, they're not as stupid as some people say, even if they can't do magic, they find ways around it.

One thing she really likes from the Muggles is their drugs. Weed mainly, she spent many nights getting high with Muggle neighbours over summer. She's a giddy girl high, can't stop laughing, makes her feel happy for a while.

To her left someone stumbles, knocking her shoulder.

"Watch where you're fucking going!" She scoffs at the imbecile.

He just carries on, cheering all too loudly and jumping like a twat on the open space they like to call a dance floor. All they've done is push the green leather couches out and created a bigger gap between them, hardly a nightclub. She's the least bit impressed.

She's being miserable, she knows she is. Can you blame her? It's nothing serious, all these jokes though, she doesn't mean it, it's just a way to laugh about things, find some kind of humour amongst it all. Gallows humour, that's what it's called.

Hiding in the back, watching her peer pressuring friend giggle at boys and flirt her way into their dorms. That's one way to do it, but not how this girl likes to do it, she prefers the kind where she never has to see them again. That happened a lot over the summer. When she'd find herself walking around her quiet Northern town in the early hours of the morning. She could've used Floo Powder, but why get dirty and back to her home quickly when a nice two-hour-long walk is just the same. She gets to see the sunrise then, gets to clear her head, gets to breathe for a moment before suffocating again.

The music is thundering, beating, it's too much for her. She needs the quiet, the peace. Out and about, she prefers being on top of the water, hearing it crash against the rocks and pebbled beach not underneath it watching through the green-tinted windows. The feel of the wind blowing through her hair, running along her skin, making her feel alive.

She's thankful to be alive, she really is. She just wishes it was under better circumstances, that there wasn't a whole fucking war and people hadn't died around her. What can she do? Nothing. She's just going to have to learn to move on like the rest of them.

Them who are dancing wildly in front of her.

It's quite a show, she does find it amusing so a little smile curls at the corner of her mouth as she holds the large glass bottle up to her lips. The first sip reminds her of the sharp taste, the sting, and then the burn as it falls down her throat. The second swig is more comforting, she grows used to it again and by the third and fourth gulp, it's nothing but chemicals that will spin her world.

She wonders if she could slip out, carry the liquor with her, maybe another bottle too. Slide through the gaps elegantly and escape, go up to the top of her tower, a place with a better view. Her friend would notice though, she'd never hear the end of it if she did.

Instead, she just accepts the fact she'll be stuck here until her friend leaves, and her friend is notorious for being one of the last ones to do so. Leaning her back and head against the wall, her legs stretched out and crossed in front of her, one hand playing with a strand of hair, the other consistently bringing the beloved bottle up to her red-stained lips. They part and the liquids flow in, burning then relaxing.

Her long brown hair, curled and reaching around her ribs, flowing down her back with waves of chocolate and auburn. That skimpy dress is black silk with spaghetti straps, only just covering her. She didn't pick this outfit, her friend did but she can't deny how confident she feels in it. She only wore an outfit like this over summer when she was going out and had intentions to stay over somewhere other than her own house.

_"You look so hot!"_

_"Have I got taste or what?"_

A deep sigh, another sip. Her slender fingers rake through her hair, undoing knots and tangles. How it drapes over her shoulders so perfectly.

Over the room she can see drinking games, students snogging and hands wandering. More dancing while classmates wobble and shuffle around the stone floor. Stairs leading up to different areas, the long study tables being used for conversations, and places to hold the drinks on offer. She can see another full bottle, one that she hopes will become hers in no time, once this one has gone.

She remains in the dark corner, where she can't be seen. She's annoyed she can't even feel the effects of the alcohol yet, not even a tremble of her hands, not even an uncontrollable sway to the music being played. She actually likes this music but she'd need several bottles to be caught dancing amongst them all.

"Not dancing?"

A confident voice appears next to her, her secluded corner already feeling too crowded.

"Absolutely not." She scoffs refusing to look at the person next to her.

"Don't blame you." It's a male voice, it's closer. She can sense the warmth of his body next to her shoulder, he's mirroring her stance and leaning back against the wall too. "It's funny isn't it."

"What?" Her eyes remain forward.

"How happy they all are." She hears a deep sigh. "May I?" His hand appears around the bottle she's holding.

"Go ahead, it's not even mine." She hands it over and hears him take a few gulps, watching from the corner of her deep hazel eyes as a good amount of the murky drink flows out the bottle.

"Thanks." He stops and passes it back to her using the back of his hand to wipe his wet chin. "Who does it belong to?"

"A Hufflepuffs I think. Stole it quickly before they could see." She takes a swig herself as the boy chuckles.

"Smart, the last thing they need is more bloody energy."

"Exactly what I was thinking." She laughs, quietly with an exhale. Hardly a real laugh but she is amused. "So you agree?"

"Agree to what?" Their shoulders are touching, they're talking but she still hasn't even looked at him. Still doesn't know who he is but for the first time in a while, it's a conversation she isn't disgusted by.

"How absurd all this shit is, like, look at how they're all smiling." She points over with her free hand, her finger stretching out and drawing attention to certain white-toothed smiles.

"Yeah, I do." He sighs.

"I wonder what they're thinking." She bites on her lip, studying their movements and expressions. What are they happy about?

"Probably nothing important, that's why they're like that." He's clever.

"Couldn't have put it better myself, can't be anything serious and real." She holds the bottle up for him again, his fingers wrap around it, and touch her own.

"Thanks. Do you think they even know what the real world is like?"

"No, definitely not."

She hears another chuckle.

"Why are you in this corner?" He asks, holding the bottle down by his side, next to her own hand. She can feel the coldness of the glass against the back of it, then a touch of warmth from his fingers as they brush against her.

"It's dark and hidden. I can drink in peace and undisturbed." She finally turns her head to the side, rolling it lazily on the wall to see the boy stood next to her.

He's unrecognisable, no one she's seen before. But that's her own fault, she never socialised during the first years of school. You used to find her in the library or in her dorm room with her head stuck in a book. At dinner times she wouldn't even glance away from the pages of whatever she was reading to look at the food on her plate, let alone at other students in the school. She'd stick to the back of classrooms with her head down and taking endless notes, especially in Charms.

She kept to herself, she was quiet. 'Was' being the keyword there, now she's louder and now she's more outspoken, blaming the anger inside of her.

She looks at this boy, brown hair, not long but not short, covering the top of his ears. Wavy and a few pieces of it fall over his forehead, strands dangling. A sharp jawline, defined cheekbones, and more distinct features. A flash from those awful bright lights allow for her to see green in his eyes, a dark, deep green. He's alright, not really her type though, she prefers different beauty, this boy is a bit conventional. He's beautiful, yes, but too typical.

"Well I apologise for disturbing the peace but I doubt it was too peaceful with this racket around us." His head turns too, looking into her own eyes. She can see him more clearly now, they're pretty, a nice shade of green that's quite unique to any others.

A quick glance at what he's wearing, nothing too outrageous. Just a plain, white linen shirt, partly tucked in loosely with dark grey jeans, she thinks.

"I'll let you off. You seem to be quite decent, you can stay." She rolls her eyes away but not before noticing a smile on both their faces.

"Great. Want some more?" The bottle waving in front of her.

"It is my bottle I think you're failing to remember." Snatching it back out of his hand. Growing more comfortable with each other.

"Wrong, it's a Hufflepuffs bottle and you stole it. That's what I remember you telling me to be precise." He laughs again.

"Alright, I give." The bottle is almost empty now, they've drunk a lot in the small time of their conversation. "Sorry, but who exactly are you?" She asks, looking at him again, trying to place him, what classes do they have together?

"Oh yeah, let me introduce myself I'm—"

"Nott!"

He's interrupted.

Both their faces twist abruptly to see a tall blond walk towards them.

Now, this person she knows, who doesn't know him. From the hair to the mark on his arm. The articles about him in The Daily Prophet to his public trial with the Wizengamot. The boy who chose the other side when she and many others thought Harry Potter was dead.

The boy who was turned into a ferret in year four, she was sitting on a bench nearby when that happened, it interrupted her reading.

The boy who'd brag too loudly about the Quidditch match he'd won in previous years.

She doesn't really feel anything towards this boy though, she knows he was on the other side but after reading about him in the newspaper and all that went on in his trial, all that helped him remain free never made her have any anger towards him. He had to do what he had to do, she doesn't really care anymore.

He's taller than she remembers, he's more built too. His shoulders are broader, his arms are bigger. His platinum blonde hair is messy but looks good. A black shirt unbuttoned a couple from the top, black jeans to go with it. Similar features to the other boy, but more exaggerated. That jawline could cut someone.

She's distracted, she stops.

But, she can't help but look at his hands, she likes large hands and he has big ones, she especially likes his rings too. They're adjusting his collar, neatening his shirt as he stalks over to them.

There was one guy over summer with large hands, she liked the complete and firm support they gave her chest as she straddled him.

There was another guy who had rings but his hands weren't as big. She remembers the cold feeling of them pressed against her thighs as his head lowered between them.

He's not looking at her. Doesn't even know she's there. She just looks away and back to the gormless children jumping around on the floor. The boy is still stood next to her, she can feel his fingers at the hem of her dress, she doesn't think it's purposely.

"Nott, tell the fucking Hufflepuffs to leave, who even invited them?" The blond shouts out over the music.

"Sorry mate, can't do that, it's open to everyone." The boy crosses his arms over his chest. She laughs at the conversation, she has the same thinking about the Hufflepuffs, their only purpose being the alcohol that's in her small hands.

Now she's being mean, she doesn't hate Hufflepuffs, just people in general. Doesn't mean to make it personal.

Nott, Nott, Nott. Who's called Nott? Is it the last name? A first name? She can't fucking think straight, that fucking music is throwing her off. Well, the blond always uses last names, so someone called blank Nott.

Nott.

Theodore Nott, of course, it is.

She's heard that name before.

"I don't fucking care, get them out of here." Shouting louder, angrily. "And the Gryffindors, Saint Potter, Weasel, all of them."

"It's the start of the year party Malfoy, everyone's welcome. Suck it up. Hufflepuffs aren't even that bad, they provide Firewhiskey." Nott turns back to the girl, she's still holding onto the bottle and smirking. "My new friend can attest to that."

"Acquaintance, you don't know my name. And I'm not a Hufflepuff." Shifting her head back to him as she replies.

"Am I ever going to hear your name?" He smiles down at her.

"I don't care about the fucking drinks they bring." Malfoy looks to her, eyes glancing up then down then up again back to her face, lingering before turning back to Nott. "I want them gone."

She sees this glance, intrigued by it. She raises her eyebrows discreetly, smirking some more. Passing the bottle up to Nott so he can take the second to last swig.

"Tough shit. Don't be rude now, my new friend is about to steal us another bottle."

"Am I now?"

"Is she now?"

The girl and Malfoy say simultaneously, quickly looking back at each other. His grey eyes are staring into her own, she bites her bottom lip feeling the heat.

"Go on then." Malfoy raises his brows, with a devilish smirk. "New friend of Nott's, get us another bottle."

She sighs heavily but remains in eye contact with him. Raising the Firewhiskey bottle to her lips, opening them a bit more than usual so they cover the top and she takes in the last drops. The bottles empty now, finally and she lowers it slowly, licking her lips and wiping away any remaining liquids from her lips with her thumb and finger.

She knows they're both watching her closely. She's laughing at them on the inside. Malfoy's gaze is glued to her, but not restricted to her face. She watches as he peers down her, eyeing her up and picturing unholy things. She's not stupid, she didn't need to use _Legilimens_ to figure that out.

"I'll steal another one, sure, but if I come back is the real question." She walks away from them, with a quick glance back and a smile. Pushing her way through the crowd and heading towards the bottle she spotted earlier.

The dark figures are hard to push through, there are two many of them, too close together. They're knocking her around and she can feel her patience disappearing. It's hideous and compact, disorganised but the people move in unison.

Along with the songs playing through the air, the people are rowdy and noisy. They sing along badly and out of tune, out of sync. Boisterous. She fucking hates it, hates it. If it wasn't for the chemicals in her and the acceptable music she'd be screaming at the top of her lungs in frustration. But she focuses, keeps her eyes ahead and on the real prize. The hypnotising bottle across the common room.

Once she makes her way next to it, she realises she's surrounded. But, no one is watching her, she can easily take it, down it and run away in a zigzag outside to the fresh air.

"Hey, gorgeous!"

A familiar voice echoes through the music. Her friend comes up behind her and wraps her little arms around her waist. Her chin resting on her shoulder. "I'm so glad you came babe, are you having a good time?"

"Claudia, you could say to some extent—"

"Amazing." Cut off. "I told you it would be a good night. Now I need the room tonight." She speaks quickly and without regard to what the girl said. "See him over there?" With her hands on her hip, Claudia spins the girl to look at a tall brunette standing and tapping his foot. "He's waiting for me to go back to him, with a full warranted permission of our room."

"Fuck off Claudia, I suppose you expect me to sleep on the couches again?" Reaching out for the bottle, the care of being caught is gone. No fucks are given.

"Look I'm really sorry, I am. But I've had my eye on this guy for a while, I mean he's dreamy." Heart-shaped eyes from Claudia as she smiled over to the boy.

"Fine, whatever." She scoffs, knocking her head back with the opened bottle against her lips once more.

"Why don't you find someone? I can help you before I go if you want?" Releasing her waist and allowing the girl to turn around and face her.

"No, I don't trust your choice in men. Besides, boys from this school will mean I'll have to see them again, you know—"

"So you're going to go the whole year without one satisfied scream?" Claudia raises her eyebrows to her, disbelief.

"Maybe." She's lying, she won't be able to go that long.

"Well if you say so babe, I'm going now so you're free. I'll leave a pillow and blanket outside our dorm room for you." A quick wink, adjusting of her dress and Claudia struts away, linking arms with the boy and heading out of the common room.

The girl closes her eyes, takes a slow inhale and tries to remain calm, stay chilled. Clears her head of the anger building up more. She wants to relax, she wants to ignore how she feels. All elated emotions that surround her are just confusing.

Where's that _fucking_ bottle?

Holding it up and close to her chest, in a pathetic attempt to keep it hidden, she makes her way to a different corner. She doesn't want to have to deal with boys, especially right now. She finds a lone green, leather couch hidden away and immediately slumps down on it, laying across. Her long exposed legs stretching out on one side, her back leaning against the side of the couch.

It's not the comfiest of couches, the leather is sticking to her skin. That and the unbearable heat from the room and she's sticky, she's sweaty and not in a way she likes. She's cursing under her breath too, between large gulps of the drink and ignoring the burning of it. With her head rolling back she's looking up at the painted ceiling, mesmerised by the intricate detailing in the stone.

Why is she still at this party? Her friend said she's free, now would be a perfect time to sit by the lake. Watch the moonlight bounce off the still water as it reflects the heavens. She would see the stars shining brightly.

"You didn't come back."

Turning her head she sees the blond. He's standing right next to her with a smirk. A smirk she knows too well. "Believe that's my bottle you're holding."

"You're terribly mistaken." She raises her brows, smirking back at him. She can't control what she's doing because yes she is attracted to him. "It's most definitely mine."

She's never talked to him before. They've never even looked at each other this way before, maybe that's what's enticing her further. The unknowing of it. He'd sure be someone she wouldn't cross paths with again, they hadn't before.

"You said you were going to steal it for us, new friend." Another voice from the other boy appears behind her. He's crouched down and his head is next to hers, she can feel his breathing against her ear.

The blond lifts her legs and sits in the space they occupied, pulling them over his lap instead. She doesn't mind, she smiles and welcomes it.

"Ah, I see what's going on here." Raising the bottle again to hide her smile.

Nott reaches and takes the bottle out of her hand before she can drink and takes a swig of it himself, beside her. She can hear the liquids swirling against the glass.

Malfoy's hands are placed on her shins, lightly, hardly. He's waiting for her to say he can. So she does, lifting them higher for his hands to press against her skin. There are the large, veiny hands her eyes watched earlier, there's the feel of the cold rings she craves and adores.

"Not very friendly, walking away with the bottle you promised us." Malfoy keeps his eyes stuck on her.

"I'm not a friendly person. Like I said, more of an acquaintance." She replies.

"I still don't know your name, darling." Nott rests his elbow on the couch and head in hand, looking at her.

"Maybe I don't want you to know my name." Taking the bottle back, handing it over to the blond. Their fingers touched in the process. He smiles at her.

"How mysterious. Why's that?" Nott continues to question.

"Maybe it's better that way. That's how I prefer it." She really does prefer the boys to not know her name. Anonymity.

"What else do you prefer?" Malfoy asks, the bottle raised to his lips. An obvious question, clear intentions.

"Do I have to pick? Can I not say both?" Her head rolls to look at Nott then back to Malfoy.

Both boys gulp. Sees it, hears it.

"Or maybe neither." She grabs the bottle again, relishing in the clouds she's caused in their minds. Malfoy's hand grips a bit tighter on her knees. Nott moves his head closer to her ear.

"We're going to need a choice to be made, blond or brown?" His lips are almost touching her ear.

"What about ginger? Is that not on the table?" She takes her eyes to the dance floor. She feels a beat, a pulse, a need she can't deny.

"Ginger isn't on the table, but you can be."

Her eyes shot back to the blond who just spoke, looking down at him, admiring him. His fingers tracing up her leg some more.

For her there is a clear winner but how she wants to tease, especially because she would be happy with both. There's just one that outshines the other, quite literally.

She smiles. "Very presumptuous, what if it's a couch I prefer?"

"That can be arranged too if you'd like, love." Nott's hand appears on her other shoulder, hovering, also waiting for permission. She shrugs her shoulders with a welcome to the touch. His fingers linger on her exposed skin.

She's being touched a lot, it's adding to that beat. Her breathing is becoming staggered and it's catching in her throat. Lifting a leg to bring her knee up higher, she puts her foot on the couch next to the blonds hip.

His eyes lower, side-eyeing her with veiled curiosity at each of her movements.

The boy behind dips his head further into her neck, his breath fanning down her chest.

Heartbeats are loud, blood is rushing around them all. Their sinful intentions might as well be playing through the vinyl player, through the gramophone and shouting with the _Amplifying Charm._

But she's not going to give in easily, she has the whole night to waste time now. Knowing she won't be able to sleep in her own bed, her own dorm. She'd even suffer the torturous smiles around her a bit longer for this version of fun.

There's still a part of her wanting to go up to the top but she can feel hands pulling her and keeping her under the water. Large hands with rings.

She chugs back another large amount of Firewhiskey and sits up straight, pulling her legs off the couch completely. Eyes fluttering between the two boys she releases a wicked smile. Putting her feet into the floor, without saying a word her black heels come off and she feels the chilling stone beneath her numb soles.

She stands up and walks backwards towards the space, finding a gap between the students around her. Swaying, hands in her hair and she's actually dancing, the effects of the alcohol start to electrify her body. Glancing back over at the boys who are tempting her like the snakes they are.

Adrenaline pumping and she's gone.

Moving to the music, in time with the rhythm. She can feel it, the something she wants to feel, the way the heat around her radiates. Eyes closing, lips parting.

She's joined, pressed on either side of her. Opening her eyes slowly. The blond is in front, his hands on her cinched waist stretched out. She leans her head back and it's resting on the shoulder of the brunette, as his hands hold onto her arms.

Digging in from both sides, they're all connected.

"You can have both if you want." The brunette whispers into her ear, his lips pressing against it.

They spin her around and the blond now mutters into her ear, behind her.

"Or you can take your pick."

She's contemplating, she really is. What would she want more, does she even want this right now? Stupid question because of course she wants this but it's a bit daunting to her reputation of being a quiet girl, a mysterious girl no one knows. She does this and that's gone. It'd spread in no time.

She continues to move with them, their hands wandering, her own on their chests, the napes of their necks.

It's all so intriguing, she'd be a fool to deny it. And that beat, it's pulsing, it's just growing more, and she's feeling empty, it's aching.

Her eyes keep catching with the silver and grey ones. He knows it too, knows he's the one her mind is on. And her mind is on him. The things she wants his hands to do to her, the things she wouldn't mind doing to him. She's curious.

"Have you made a decision?" He asks, looking directly down at her.

"How about a game of tag?"

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not brilliant, hope you enjoy! I'm sure you'll come to hate my whiny arse with each note I leave.


	2. Was it painful?

~*~

**4th September 1998**

"I hate my name." Claudia poses in front of their long, lone standing mirror. A surplus of dresses scattered around on their wooden floor, splashes of colours everywhere. She's turning, twisting to look at the dress she was currently trying on properly, getting the best angle.

The girl lays on her stomach, her feet up in the air and the comfort of a new book in front of her. Her elbows are propped and giving her head a restful place as she reads. She's relaxed, doing something she finds joy in.

"And why's that?" She responds unenthusiastically after being interrupted.

"Claudia. Do you not think it's horrendous?" Shifting to face the girl who's still stuck to the book, not even a glance up at Claudia as she speaks.

"Go on." Encouraging further explanation.

"Well, for example— how horrible does it sound when a guy is moaning out my name?" She adjusts her stance to appear more masculine, lowering her voice in a mocking tone. "Oh Claudia— _fuck_ , Claudia that feels so good. Such a dirty slut." Her eyes rolling back jokingly.

The girl giggles quietly. "Lovely insight into your bedroom whispers there."

"Don't you agree though?" She scoffs. "Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. I personally feel the meaning behind it matches perfectly, lame. You know my name means 'lame' right?"

"I like your name, just because it means something doesn't make it true— you're not lame." Finally peering up from her book, taking in the outrageously short dress she's wearing, it's green for starters. It's tight and it's hugging her but not flattering her in any way, she'd be a bad friend if she let her wear that. "No, absolutely not, you're not wearing that." Disgust almost in her tone.

"You're saying that because you're my best friend, of course, you don't mind my name." She looks down at her dress, furrowing her brows and lifting her arms for a better view. "What's wrong with it?"

"There's this thing called leaving it to the imagination. And that dress is doing the complete opposite— and it's bunching around your stomach." Closing her book and giving her more attention.

"I kinda like it though— besides what if I don't want them to imagine—"

"You do. Trust me, guys like to picture what you have underneath. The curiosity of what you'd look like naked in their beds." Sitting up straight and crossing her legs in front of herself. Her back is aching, she always picks uncomfortable positions when it comes to reading but she gets too lost in the poetry to care. She just suffers after. Enjoys the suffering in fact.

"Oh yes, you'd know all about that wouldn't you." Claudia wiggles her finger, pointing to the girl on the bed.

"Excuse me?" She asks, confused but not entirely shocked either.

Claudia makes her way over to her own four-poster bed, the blue sheets creasing as she sits down on the edge, her legs dangling over the edge and swinging playfully. There's a smirk on her lips and it makes the girl anxious. She knows this smile all too well, it's the gossiping kind, but unfortunately, the gossip she's about to hear is about herself.

She braces for the impact.

It's about summer, it has to be.

It can't be school-related, you wouldn't even think she attended the magical school with how quiet and secretive she was— still is, always wants to be. Never does anything in school worth gossiping about.

She's hidden in the background, behind a facade of naivety and innocence and it's perfectly flawless. Runs like clockwork, don't talk in class, don't socialise, keep to the back. Only get involved when necessary —when professors force her to— and definitely, absolutely, never, ever, get involved with the boys from this bloody school.

The appearance is beautifully done for it does hide the reality and a magnitude of sins and darkness. A riddle, she's not an obvious answer and there is no clear way of figuring her out. At first glance you'd go for the prominent features in her behaviour, starting with her quietude character. But, on the inside she's filled, there's irritability and she tries so hard, so very hard every fucking day to not release such feelings.

So fucking hard.

There's only one person who knows about this alternative side, the real side of her. A side that came out considerably over summer, she let it free and it was desirable, she was desirable. The anger that was building up in her, from the war mainly. How it raged her. She was unbothered by restraints knowing that she no longer had to mask the true emotions within.

That other person is Claudia.

"Well, you know how your lovely mother and I are best friends for life— sending owls to each other. About that— I think I talked to your mother more than I bloody talked to you over—"

"Get to the point." She interrupts, growing irritated by the anticipation of whatever she was going to hear. With the mention of her mother she knew it wasn't going to be good. She's telling herself to stay calm, not to show her nervousness, it'd give too much away otherwise.

"Right— yes, so she sent me a few letters explaining that a certain cheeky minx—," still pointing her finger to the girl. "— spent a few nights away from her bed and would come back early in the morning."

She relaxes. She doesn't know why she got worried. She kept her marks, the burns, the scratches and puffy eyes very well hidden from her mother. Thanks to _Muffliato,_ her mother never heard the vomiting and she knew how to pretend she was okay. The only thing she was atrocious at was sneaking back into the house. That's how she was caught, every time. Every fucking time.

_"And what time do you call this young lady!?"_

_"I've been up all night and worried sick!"_

Blame their cat.

Their fucking cat, don't get her started on that cat.

The black and white, scruffy, ancient cat that's curled up in a corner of their dorm room at this very moment. That fucking cat would scream, wail and moan at being woken up at any time of the morning by the girl arriving back home. So loud that she swears the whole neighbourhood could hear. Same pitch as a sodding howler.

She makes sure to scowl at it during the thought, irritated by its purring knowing it'd still be completely useless come its decision to eventually wake the fuck up. They have a love-hate relationship, depending on the mood of both parties.

 _Avada Kedavra_ would consistently pop into her mind hearing the decrepit feline in the mornings. It didn't help that her head would be pounding, already hanging. The need for sleep and rest dancing around in her mind like a perfect dream— but the moment that cat made a noise, she knew it'd ring in her ears more than the music previously played in the muggle club.

Along with a lovely and well-scripted lecture she'd receive from her mother, one she's heard too many times.

"Claudia you act like you're surprised." The girl scoffs and rolls her dark hazel eyes. "You know what I'm like."

"It's just annoying that I have to find out from your mother about your escapades!" She crosses her arms over her chest with her miniature tantrum. The girl lets out a giggle. "I thought that was done with after—"

She interrupts. "We don't talk about that, remember."

"Sorry—"

"It's okay, just don't want to be reminded. Carry on ranting." She flashes a comforting smile allowing Claudia to relax and continue.

"Well, when were you planning on telling me?" Claudia scowls and the girl just sighs, feeling the criticism.

It's hard sometimes, talking to Claudia. There's a line that can be easily crossed when it comes to judgement and more often than not, Claudia judges. She judges hard when she does, making the girl feel like she's being told off by her mother. They are best friends after all— apparently.

There was little room for it too, Claudia was the one who introduced her to such activities.

A summer three years ago she took them to a Muggle club with fake Muggle Identification Cards, borrowed from a cousin of Claudia's. They used them to experience a night out in the other world, being cultured they called it, in-depth and hands-on research on how the others live. Away from the societal norms of the Wizarding World.

Conclusion, she loved it— still fucking loves it.

Made sure every summer from then on was to continue with her research. Making notes, compiling information on how the way their drinks made her feel compared to Wizarding alcohol. Hypothesise about what the effect of the strobe lights beaming down onto her skin would cause. Negative results of course. They had no effect other than almost blinding her one night.

She hates bright lights because of that night, would much rather go to darker bars and clubs now.

Tested how loud the music could be in her ears before she could hear no more too— was deafened at one club for a day or two after.

She could write a whole essay on the way the male mind works in such environments, what they react to best, what clothes get their attention the most. Even what to say, she has a list of phrases she likes to use knowing boys will get very, _very_ happy whenever she'd say them.

Oh, she could see how happy they'd get. She marvelled in her work of doing that to them.

She doesn't mean to make this sound like school, like homework, but for her, it's all quite entertaining. Extremely so. She finds it fucking hilarious, people can be very predictable and she takes pride in her knowledge and willingness to learn the uncommon and in unconventional ways.

That night three years ago with Claudia ended with them both spending the rest of the evening with a couple of boys of a similar age but a bit older with fake IDs too.

It was exciting, the girl had done it before but this was different. Her adrenaline was sent to another level that night, the thrill, the experience and oh the fucking high she got from it. Higher than she'd ever been before. She laid on fluffy clouds disguised as feathered pillows, above the rest of the world, overlooking past experiences and mocking their lack of fulfilment in her life.

Her 'before' was unsatisfying, to say the least.

She could praise that boy forever, and will always be grateful for that experience. The first real time that mattered to her. Doesn't know his name though, he doesn't know hers but they shared that night together and it'll permanently be engraved into her. Her mind and body like a dark, detailed tattoo filled with breathtaking design to match the emotions she felt.

There is a little scar on her hip bone also reminding her of it. You could often find her glancing at it with a wide smile and almost visible heart-eyes. Her fingers would trace it, feel the difference. Jagged and glorious in the memories it provided. Pinker than the rest of her skin, faded but noticeable.

She felt like she had a real experience, one that she couldn't forget, one that she craved again. It was also the lack of attachment she got afterwards, neither of them wanting to continue and neither of them feeling like they had to. She liked that, adored that— hated and hates attachment.

She continued to have more experiences like that for the next few years.

It was all Claudia's idea that night, so if anyone is to blame for the girls deep and untrustworthy love for it and the thrill, it's Claudia.

"Well? Did you just hope I'd find out from your mother?" Claudia repeats herself as the girl drags her zoned out eyes back towards the angry-looking girl.

"I just didn't think it was something to mention. You know me, I don't tend to kiss and tell." She shrugs her shoulders with her smirk.

"More like you don't shag and tell, I've created a monster!" Shrieking with a laughing tone.

"I'll appreciate it if you didn't take full credit for my sinful personality." She smirks, rolling her eyes. She falls back, leaning against the headboard of her bed, stretching her legs out in front. "It was just some fun, to make me feel— feel in general and after everything that happened—"

"I get you, I do. But— there has to be a point where we all move on from it babe and stop dwelling on the past. She wouldn't want us wallowing in our self-pity." A half-hearted smile shows on Claudia's lips as her eyes glance to the other side of the room. Knowing that the war affected and is still affecting many people— the empty four-poster bed in their room can attest to that.

The empty bed they refuse to have anyone else occupy, refuse to go near and refuse to forget who they lost. There was never a really strong connection between them all like there is between the girl and Claudia but they were still roommates. They still had endless late-night chats talking about everything and nothing until one of them eventually fell asleep. It all became so fresh in their minds again on return to school earlier on this week, knowing it'd just be the two of them in there.

A bit of extra space they didn't want. They would much rather have their roommate back.

She wants that space filled up with the light their friend brought to the room, it seems darker without her. Everything seems darker since the war.

"I know, you're right. And that's why I was doing what I was doing, for her in some fucked up way. I wasn't sulking in my bed or being miserable— I was out having some mediocre fun, that'd turn into more and more fun as the nights went on, so I lost track of time and that's why I kept spending the night away." She responds. "It was just for the summer— before facing all this again."

"I know you think it's ridiculous that we have to be here, but I think it'll be good for us. We do need to finish our exams, after all, then we can start living in the real world like you want." Claudia lays down on her bed, facing up to the ceiling as she does.

Her long raven hair falling down and spreading out across the bed, shining and reflecting the twinkling lights around the room. Her fringe covering her brows and dipping into her eyes causing her to blow a puff of air up so that it fell to either side of her face instead. Her side profile was something to be envious of, a perfectly pointed nose with hollow cheekbones and a straight jawline no matter what angle you'd look at her from. Plump, pink lips amongst her pale, porcelain complexion.

Her light green eyes that every boy would fall in love with when she'd bat her eyelids to them. Quite beautiful— no not _quite_. Her friend is _stunning_ and she feels blessed by her presence every day, like a dark angel. A love and admiration for her that can't really be explained. Each other's sanity and insanity simultaneously.

"Yes, I think it's utterly preposterous, fucking stupid, being back here. The last thing people need is to be forced back into a routine like nothing had happened. It's like they're forgetting and it makes absolutely no fucking sense!" Raising her voice— she's becoming irritated, rubbing her temples in frustration and letting her anger show slightly.

"Because we can't just pause all of life, we have to keep going. Come on, calm down please, I'm sorry I brought it up." Claudia rolls her head to face the girl, a worried look making her realise she's close to an outburst.

"Sorry, you know I just can't get my head around it. And the party tomorrow night, is a party really what we need?" More heavy sighs from the weight of it all. Her hands drop back down, placing them in her lap and twiddling her thumbs. She's distracting herself from the built-up emotions inside.

"I think it is," Claudia responds confidently. "You went clubbing— some people don't have that opportunity so this is the next best thing, it's all the same really. You had your little escape and now it's their turn, mine included." Claudia props herself up on her elbows, her face still turned to the girl. "I can't believe you didn't invite me out with you— you bitch." They both giggle.

"You live all the way down south, it's hardly practical. And your judgement would have ruined the mood." The girl raises her brows, she's teasing.

" _Judgement_?" Claudia exclaims with puzzlement. She's unaware most of the time when she makes the girl feel like she's in court. She would joke that Claudia should join the Wizengamots when school eventually finishes, it'd be perfect for her.

"Yes, judgement. I swear Claudia every time something was about to happen, I heard your voice in my head telling me it's probably a bad idea."

"I don't mean to be like that— can we call it jealousy? I'm so jealous of you, you can do that and be carefree." Claudia bites her lip nervously.

"I wouldn't be so jealous. Look, can we talk about your dress now?" She changes the subject, doesn't want to talk about summer anymore, it's upsetting her.

Summer was a weird time for her, a mix of heaven and hell on earth.

The sticky, sweltering weather created an inferno mirroring what she thought hell would be like, she doesn't like the heat, she prefers the cold. The hell of being at home too, remembering everything, wishing she could forget all the shit that went on. It didn't help that her father was also feeling the same. He lost one of his oldest friends protecting the school so he didn't talk much all summer, didn't laugh like he used to.

Hell being stuck at home, that's why she went out.

Then the heaven of actually being out made up for it. It was another world that was a bit brighter, a bit happier and it brought the same into her life for the moments. Distractions but the lingering thought remained in the back of her head, no matter how hard she tried.

But the boys, especially the boys, how she was touched, how she felt. Euphoria in its prime.

Distractions, that's what they were. So there is part of her that can't blame her fellow classmates for wanting to stick to traditions and have the annual party. They're looking for distractions too. Maybe it's just a bit inappropriate, to play loud and happy music in a time of mourning.

She's confusing herself. She can't decide how to feel, what's right, what's wrong. People have different ways of dealing with the loss, the grief, their own emotions. She reminds herself of that.

Taking in a deep breath, the ticking in her head stops and she gives Claudia her full attention instead.

"Okay, so—," Claudia stands back up and twirls around. "I do really like this one."

"Do you not think it's a bit short and well— ugly?" Her eyes glance over to the other dresses on the floor. She's trying to find a less hideous one, one that'd suit Claudia more.

"Alright, it is a bit— I don't like any of the others though." She crouches down and searches through the pile, throwing them up into the air dramatically. The fabrics flying around the room. "What about this one?" She holds up a silver, sparkling dress with long sleeves and a high neck.

"That one is gorgeous, much better." Admiring it. "You'll look beautiful as per usual tomorrow." She rests her head in her hands as she talks, smiling. "Even though I'm against the party I'm sure you'll have a great night."

"You're coming," Claudia speaks, shimmying the other dress off and putting the silver one on instead. Slipping her leg into it and wobbling as she talks.

"I'm most definitely not, I'm staying here and—"

"I'm not giving you an option. You had your fun now it's time to help me have my own. Please— for me?" Zipping the dress up and walking back over to the mirror to examine how she looks.

"But I had big plans, I was going to read— there's a new book and—"

"And I said you have no choice. I know you hate school parties but I want you there. It'll be good for you." Claudia poses again in front of the mirror, adjusting the dress to fit into the contours of her body just right.

The girl's thinking, her brain's ticking again and she's considering what to do. She never really went to the social events, she likes to keep a barrier between her and the other students. No intentions of getting to know them, her focus on life after school, where she thinks she'll be better off.

If she went she'd stick to the back, hide away and wait until it was over. That's her condition.

"Fine but I'm wearing what I want." Cockily speaking, knowing that meant she'd put on jeans and a hoodie as another protest.

"You're funny how you think that I'm going to let you do that, I have the perfect dress for you." Claudia rolls her eyes and finds herself by the trunk at the foot of her bed. The clicking sound of it opening only makes the girl more anxious.

Dresses were not something she chose to wear often, only a handful of times during summer. She would choose comfort over fashion, no questions asked. Half of her wardrobe is filled with sweatpants and oversized hoodies.

"Here it is!" Claudia excitedly pulls out a short, silk black dress that the girl can only describe as skimpy.

Why does her mind immediately go to what happened last time she wore a dress like that?

She remembers the feel of the sink under the skin of her thighs as the dress bunched up around her waist. The feel of soft hair in her grip and a distinct banging sound on the door of the pub. The cold mirror behind her back as she leant back into it.

Back to Claudia.

Her eyes are wide and she's holding back a smile, pressing her lips together into a thin line. She's feeling hotter thinking about it.

She stops herself. No matter how fucking great it was, now wasn't the time to think of it.

"Claudia I can't wear that— it's a school party." Surely that's unsuitable, she can't get away with wearing something like that.

"Trust me, babe, people will be wearing less than this. Over summer half of the year have gotten hornier— the number of conversations I overheard this week." She passes the dress over to the girl still sitting on the bed. The fabric touches her fingertips and it's electrifying, it's smooth and glossy.

It's a different kind of comfort— one that she can tolerate. Regrettably so. She rolls her eyes with a shake of her head knowing that she wants to wear the dress, knows that Claudia won't take no for an answer.

Claudia is fucking stubborn.

"Just wear it, try it on."

"Fine."

The girl stands up out of her bed and starts to change out of her black sweatpants, pulling her tank top over her head and leaving her in her underwear.

"Stop!" Claudia shouts suddenly looking at the girl as she stands exposed. "You naughty girl!" She giggles out too loudly pacing over to her.

The girl's confused but when she feels Claudia's fingers down her side she remembers what's there. A burn from a horribly gone wrong experience.

Never, ever, use a candle with Muggle Beeswax included in the ingredients, she knows this now. She'll never let herself forget it. It burns, fucking burns and she remembers screaming out in pain telling them to stop. She remembers losing all air and struggling to find oxygen as she yelled out. How it hurt, how it killed and stung on her bare skin.

She's left with a mark on her skin now, not like the other one she liked. It's a painful reminder. Lesson learnt.

"That looks nasty, was it painful?" Claudia crouches to examine it closer. Her fingers lightly brushing against it, there's no more pain from it, she just giggles from the tickle of Claudia's fingertips.

"You have no fucking clue how much it hurt, ruined the mood instantly Claudia. Does it look bad?" Asking about the mark and peering down at it.

"No! It looks good actually, it's hot. By the time you're old you're going to be covered in marks aren't you?" Standing back up straight with a sarcastic smile. Big grin and tilting her head.

"Let's hope so." The girl winks and continues to put the dress on. The straps pull over her shoulders and it rests on her thighs. They're silent for a moment and both looking into the mirror. Eyes glued to the dress, to her cues, to her breasts. It fits her like a dream, without a charm or spell needing to be used.

A sharp breath from her and the silence is broken by Claudia.

"You look so hot!" Claudia screams out giddily. "Have I got taste or what?"

The girl's speechless, she feels beautiful and she loves it. Then she doesn't want to have to admit Claudia is right, that she's tempting her too much and it's making her uncomfortable but satisfied at the same time.

"Okay, it does look good." She sighs hiding her smile that's itching to show. "I'll wear it— if I must." Rolling her head to the side to watch Claudia as her smile grows larger by the minute.

"Ah! I'm so happy right now. We both look good! I can't wait for tomorrow."

"There better be alcohol, do you have any because I don't." The girl forgot to pack some of her secret stashes from home into her trunk. Muggle wines, whiskeys, vodkas she bought from a corner shop in her town. All she remembered to pack was some Muggle weed, that was only good for one, maybe two spliffs at a push.

They'd have to be small, they wouldn't last long.

"Oh fuck, no, I don't have any. I'm sure there will be some provided." Claudia shrugs it off and starts to get back out of her dress, folding it up neatly and placing it on top of her trunk ready for the party tomorrow night.

"Where is the party this year? Gryffindor tower?" The girl copies Claudia and folds the stunning dress in a way to stop ceases and places it also on top of her trunk.

They both change into their pyjamas maintaining the conversation.

"Slytherin— you know they host the best ones." Claudia beams, sliding into her bed and throwing her hair up into a messy bun. The sheets of her bed rustling beneath her as she finds a comfortable position, laying her head down onto the pillow.

"Oh Merlin, they always end so messily. Do you remember that fight that broke out two years ago?"

"How can I forget. McLaggen was too big for his boots, I think he deserved to be punched like that by Pucey. I can't deny how hot it was though, the sweaty boys wrestling on the floor, especially Adrian." She giggles and held the covers up over her shoulders.

"What did Cormac even do?" The girl asks, leaning back against her headboard and pulling up her book, ready to read into the early hours of the morning like usual.

"Well, I overheard Pansy say he called her a slag— apparently she said no to sleeping with him or something like that, understandably. And well— you know how protective Adrian is over her." Claudia continues to spread the gossip. "So yeah."

"Who needs The Daily Prophet when I have my own columnist right here." The girl flashes a wink and laughs. "Can always trust you to provide the information."

"Rita Skeeter better watch her back, I'm after that job."

"That'd be perfect! I can just imagine you writing your gossip column and spreading it around. The dirt you'd find."

She's smiling, she's laughing. She's thankful for Claudia. Like said, sanity.

She keeps her grounded, keeps her going. Especially talking about their futures, when that was something they thought they were going to lose. With just a single misfire of the green flash, or a single _Protego_ failing to do its job they wouldn't have futures.

It's frightening just thinking about it, it could've all gone wrong for them. And it did for so many others. That four-poster bed is looking at her like it has eyes and she's looking at it.

She remembers the screams in The Great Hall, the cries and the way people covered the lifeless bodies on the grounds with sheets. Seeing limp hands falling out of them, families gathered around them. Her fathers cry as he held onto his friend, how he saw his other friend lose his son.

He held her close after that battle, making sure she was still with him. Didn't want to think about what he would've been like if he lost her too.

What would their roommate say about all this? She always had a good input, good opinions that were well trusted. They knew they could ask for her advice when they needed it and now things are going to be different.

Everything's fucking different and she doesn't know what to do. She wishes she could just go back to summer and relive the moments where she was alive, where she felt things. From the walks to the late-night activities. The drugs that acted as medication for her without becoming addicted to them.

But now she's surrounded by classmates, students who are all children still. Some of them are too young to have experienced what they did, some are lucky to only be starting this year and only hearing about what happened.

"Goodnight babe, I'm glad you're coming to the party tomorrow. It'll be fun, you never know what will happen." Claudia yawns and closes her eyes.

She doesn't set her expectations high, she knows it'll just be like any other party she was dragged to in the past. It'll be nothing like the clubs she experienced over the summer.

She opens her book and starts to read with the help of _Lumos_ on the tip of her wand.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any grammatical errors etc please let me know!


	3. What's your name?

~*~

**5th September 1998**

"Have you made a decision?" He asks, looking directly down at her.

"How about a game of tag?"

She can't help but smile, he'd know what she means. It's obvious and she's greedy. But she's not restricted, she's open-minded to anything. There's his smile again, discreetly from the corner of his lips as he gazes at her then looks behind to Nott. Assuming the brunette has a similar smile behind her, his fingers dig deeper with his grip.

She's squished between them more, closer. She can feel their heartbeats and they can undoubtedly feel the way hers is pounding out her chest with no sign of stopping. She can hear it too, it's louder than the music and it's right in her ear. The thump of it.

It only makes the awareness of how fast her blood is pumping around so much stronger. She knows it's the same for the boys, she can feel them in her hips and against her behind. Blood rushing. Their blood is fucking rushing.

She can feel them getting more excited, more eager too in the way they start to move her. They're controlling the way her hips swing and move, effortlessly and she lets them. They're not rushing, the night is still young, they have plenty of time to get to know each other in their special way.

And this girl has all fucking night — until whatever time she would be allowed back into her dorm.

She supposes a bed with green sheets is better than a blue leather couch in the open space of her own common room. Figures it's more private. She won't stay long when they're finished, just an acceptable amount of sleep before slipping away and rising back to the top of the school where she really belongs.

She even thinks that maybe she could get in an early morning stroll around the grounds like she did over summer. Now she's thinking about the fresh air, how inviting it is and how refreshing it makes her feel. When it fills her lungs with the sharp, cold sting down her throat. How it will lick her skin and creep under her dress, making her shiver as her lips dry and become a shade darker from the numbness. Its only September but its still freezing— fucking freezing and she loves it.

Tick, tick, tick.

She has her plan now, she'll spend the night with them before taking her wandering legs to the banks of the lake. Maybe she'll take a dip up to her knees too, her feet are already numb from the heels Claudia made her wear so what would below zero water do that could be worse?

Plus— there are _Hot Air Charms_ to stop hypothermia. A quick wave and a stream will warm her up in no time.

Tick, tick, tick.

The song changes and the tempo picks up, she stops thinking. They're moving more, they're closer and she's feeling it all. How they're pressing their knees in between her legs and she's almost resting on their thighs. Both of them as she sways.

And that beat from before, it's quicker. It's exhilarating and she's needing the friction.

The knees between her legs aren't exactly helping, she has to have some self-control. Get some fucking self-control. Doesn't let her body be overcome with betrayal.

She wonders how public this is, can people see what they're doing? There are lots— many, _many_ figures around them. Surrounding them, creating a darkened barrier to hide the lust engulfing them.

The lust that's hot with sensuality.

She feels one of them grab her arse amongst it all.

They're in their own atmosphere and the heat is fucking rising. The way it teases at her skin, trickling down her chest. A sudden feel of wearing too many clothes, the fabric is suffocating her, it's caving in on her. The boys aren't helping, but they would also help with that too.

How fucking ironic. That's hilarious to her. She loves irony.

Being by the lake is just sounding more tempting the hotter she gets. The sweatier she gets, the more dress is sticking to her. It's humid, she's inhaling it.

It's all a bit claustrophobic, there are too many bodies around her, but surely they're covered and hidden? She wouldn't want to be seen. She can't be seen.

What is she doing? They go to her school. She'll see them again if she does this— _if_ she does this. She wants to do this. In other circumstances she wouldn't even bat an eyelid, she'd be the one instigating it, fuck, she'd be dragging them both straight with her out the room. They'd be bending over behind her as she'd lead them. Falling at her feet, bowing to her.

She knows what she wants. She's feeling the emptiness, quite literally.

There'd be shame with that though, there would be names being thrown at her. Insults hurling towards her and she wishes there was a spell that could block harsh words the same way as _Protego_. All because she knows what she wants and isn't afraid to get it— in other circumstances,

_"What a slag."_

So it's the thought of seeing them again, being that exposed and having to look them in the eyes after. It'd be hard, uncomfortably unnerving and yet she knows without a doubt that at the moment —when they're tangled together— she'd feel on top of the world.

The summit.

Yes, after she'll fall, far— quickly into oblivion, but that only makes the climb back up all the more enthralling.

And she can't help but think how many times she will endure the climb in this single evening. How much she wants to do the climb. She loves it, _adores_ it and there's no feeling like it. She will always have a craving for it. The way the electricity runs through her body, shocking her with static and energy. How it makes her body jolt with new life, over and over again. Just when she feels her heart is slowing down there's another touch and she's pounding out of her chest, smashing against her ribs— ready to burst through.

But it's different. She's riddled with worry, the possibilities. She'd just have to stick to what she always does, hide away in the back and not be seen, that's the only way this will work. And fuck— does she want it to work.

Tick, tick, tick.

She's thinking too much, she needs to just let go, stop caring. It's a bloody battle inside her head, attacks from both sides.

Stop fucking caring.

Do it, go with it. Not many chances like this come around often. She wants it, wants it _so fucking badly_.

Another touch brings her back to the reality of what's happening. The boys, how they're pressed on either side of her. Their hands, grasping onto her every curve, the way they stretch out on her stomach and hips. The way they're all dancing together, letting the music flow through them, they're connected. They're moving perfectly, they have a clear objective and that being her.

She feels important, desired and there's the feeling, something she was wanting so desperately, to feel alive and she sure as fuck feels alive.

There it is again, the pain. The fucking pain. _Agony_.

It aches so fucking much, it just _hurts_ , the more the boys touch her. It's the need, the beat. The more their soft lips gently press against her neck secretively. They're barely touching her but she can feel it, moving down on her shoulders as they sway to the rhythm and—

Nott's edging down the straps of her dress in the middle of the common room, toying with it—

With his teeth.

Her head is rolling back, onto Nott's shoulder— repeatedly. Feeling the breathing, feeling the heat. Her eyes are closed but they're fluttering and she can see the flashes of lights behind them. She hates the fucking lights, they're stopping her from falling into the moment, to be dragged down further by the boys' hands around her. Further into the lake, deeper, to the bottom before that climb back up.

She's losing control, she can't help it.

It's a moan leaving her lips. The beads of sweat that are developing. It's too fucking hot in here.

She's taking everything in, picturing it all. How she feels with their touch. The smells around her, the way the air feels between her fingers as they stretch out around her and around the boys. She can smell their cologne and it's filling her nose. A smell of mint, of Firewhiskey on the blond's breath, as he leans his head down beside her.

The sparkling grey eyes are glancing at her, through the corners as his hands grasp her hips. He's watching her, looking for a reaction and she's watching him too. He's standing out more for her, it's the curiosity. She knows all about him publicly but what is he really like behind closed doors?

Are the articles true?

The rumours?

All the good and bad things she's heard about him as she hid in the background. Overhearing conversations, discussions. The praise and worship he received but also the hatred, the pure disgust at anything he did and still does.

There's an undying tainted light on him — glooming over him and maybe it's a desire to step into that shadow that's taking over her. She has her own after all, together they'd be a bundle of corruption— one more so than the other. One more publicly too.

And she's looking at him more— too much.

 _Fuck_ — his hair is gorgeous, it's messy but he suits it, how it falls over his forehead in an unsettled manner. What does it feel like? It looks like it could be stiff, dry but she also thinks maybe it's soft. She wants to touch it, gain a grip in it— wrap it around her fingers.

And she's willing to place a bet that he's thinking the same. She hopes he is, she will throw away her Galleons at the bet with her high craving for his attention— she hates that she wants it so badly. Feels like all the other fucking girls in the school but its because he is giving it to her that she wants more. His eyes aren't restricted to her face either but around her face and down further, that's adding to the thought.

He doesn't know this witch, never seen her before, probably didn't even know she went to this school but all of a sudden she's all he's looking at. And maybe it's the red lips, the brown doe eyes, the curls cascading down her back and over her shoulders. Her smooth tanned skin, the skin he's touching all over and maybe he wishes there wasn't a dress in the way to touch more.

She wishes there wasn't a dress there—soon enough there won't be. Just have to be patient.

What would it be like to grab his hair?

What would it be like to have his hands in her hair? Pulling it, dragging it. Her mind's wandering to places, she's losing her breath thinking about it.

She feels flutters in her stomach and the pulse quickens as they look at each other, they develop more when he stands up straighter and gazes directly down at her. Their eyes meet and she falls into the deep dark pools surrounded by the wash of a wintery silver and she wonders if she's ever seen eyes like his before. Enchanting how they remind her of the colder months, cloudy skies when it rains. They're hypnotising and she can't pull her own away.

They're pre-storm, the shade of them.

And at this moment she hates herself, hates how much she loves to watch storms. The thundering, the lightning and she could sit at her windowsill for hours while they erupt. The chaos happening around her, calming her.

She fucking hates herself, she knows he's a storm waiting to happen but she can't wait to inevitably watch.

She's stuck.

Stop it, she wants to stop it. She's frowning, she doesn't like what he's doing to her, the way he's piercing her skin with them.

She spins. Controlling the situation.

Instead, she falls back onto his chest and his arms snake around her stomach as Nott smiles at her. A charming smile, a friendly smile, not like the blonds evil ones.

Now Nott has his hands on her sides and their chests are pressed together. Her forearms arms perch on his shoulders and their foreheads are touching.

But, him.

Him behind her— he's resting his chin on her shoulder, tilted to angle his lips to her ear. The mint wafting under her nose and she hears the staggered breathing. Side eyeing him as she's pinioned— to stop her flying away, there's no room for her to slip out, to change her mind.

Then it's the words he speaks that just puts her on the edge, he knows what she's thinking about.

"No one needs to know about this."

It only makes her swallow, the lump in her throat still present, however.

"I know that's worrying you."

She doesn't respond.

It takes a sharp exhale for her to realise his fingers have lowered to the hem of her dress and they're curling up underneath it, fingertips on the front then to the sides of her bare thighs. His lips around the lobe of her ear for his teeth to hold it.

"It can be our secret."

The plush lips lower and then she can feel the casual tickle of his tongue on her pulse point. Another moan leaving her while he does.

"Is that a spot you like?" He asks quietly, only she can hear through the loud bass still playing around them. She doesn't need to answer, he knows— he's being cocky. It's rhetorical. She can't answer, she's too close to Nott. "I think that's a yes."

Yes. Yes, she fucking loves it, it's a weakness. She's biting her lip, nibbling at the skin and trying not to look at him any more. But her back arches— pressing her behind into him.

It's a yes, a clear yes.

"Thought so."

He continues and she focuses on something else. Otherwise, she'll collapse.

Nott, his hands are further up her sides, his thumbs stroking below her breasts as they dance and it's tingling. He's wanting to go higher, she wants him to go higher, but the location at hand makes it too risky. But then she feels the brush of them against her hardened nipples through her dress so slightly without being obvious and she loses her breath again.

Consistently struggling to find oxygen all evening.

They're looking at each other, staring into each other's eyes. His are like a dark forest, from what she can see. His lips are parted open with steady breathing, they're inviting— the biting on her own lips increases watching his. She leans in a tiny amount more, releasing from the bite and opening her own— they start to share the same air.

She's already feeling lightheaded, what's the lack of fresher air going to do. She'd happily pass out if it meant sharing his oxygen for a moment too long.

Then he moves in too and their lips are touching lightly with his tongue running against her own. She closes her eyes and let's go, finally pushing them together fully. The pressure of them against each other and the nibble he makes on her bottom lip. The Firewhiskey they shared earlier being the main thing amongst the kiss and on the tip of their tongues. And they're swirling, her head tilting to the side for easier access to his irresistible lips.

His chocolate brown hair that's so silky smooth through her fingers. The strands sliding through effortlessly and gently. Like satin. An excited groan comes from his throat and she swallows it down, gasping for some air. It's deep and she's forgetting her surroundings— apart from the other hands.

The other hands that are on her stomach while his hips are grinding into her.

Malfoy must be feeling neglected, he's not getting as much attention and she feels him pull her away from Nott to twirl her around again. Like it's his turn, his lips crash down on hers and there's passion in it. It knocks her back and she's startled— considerably, her eyes widen from it before closing and melting.

It's different, they're different. The intellect in her can't help but compare. They're on different levels, both gorgeous— but different kinds.

It's escalating, quickly— so fucking quick and she knows it's only a matter of time before the location changes.

Now she's collapsing, buckling under the demand.

 _Oh_ — it's an uproar inside her stomach and he's got a fist full of her hair, holding her head to his, their lips moving together like pieces of a jigsaw and how he tastes on her tongue. So fucking good.

Nott is kissing down the back of her neck, leaving a trail along the back of her jaw, down her shoulders again then back up to her ear.

That beat, it's fucking unbearable. It's making her feel— _empty_.

Nott's turn to speak. "We need to hear you say you're okay with this darling." His fingers stroking down the sides of her arms. His heavy breathing in her ear, despite the music she can hear it. Malfoy releases her lips making her come back. Her feet on the ground again, not up in the clouds —the storm-filled clouds— but back in the common room.

They're waiting to hear a reply —a crystal clear reply— what they all want. And she's going to give them the answer she's been contemplating from the moment they joined her on the couch.

All she's been thinking about.

The ticking, the turning.

"Yes— I'm okay with this." Her head switches to look at them both. "I want this." She smiles but it's hidden with the meanings, it's a mischievous one. She's playing the role of temptress mirroring their own tempting ways and taking a bite of that apple they're offering at the same time. How badly she wants this, how greedy she is for both of them. It's her other side coming out to play and she's stopped fucking caring. "But not yet." She leans her head back onto Nott. "Let's dance a bit longer." Softly, the smirk on her lips and the closing of her eyes.

Why rush? Why skip straight ahead? The build-up is just as fun and she's enjoying this. She's giving them what they want, she has them under her spell. Dancing again is the least they can do.

She's thinking about how funny she is. She started the evening with no expectations, no intentions to leave the secluded corner of the room she started in. She never planned on dancing either but here she is in the middle of the dance floor with two enthusiastic, beautiful boys who are willing to help her in the way she needs. To satisfy that beat, calm it down. Ease it off— until it starts again.

At that moment there are vibrations flowing up from the floor and filling her, pulsing through her. The inevitable sensuality of it all, the way they're talking to each other with their bodies. She's taking the time to study them too, as she lets her hands wander their chests and stomachs. What areas make them tense, how light of a touch will make them crumble and groan. The way they are all swaying together, in unison.

She can hear their impatient groans, all too loudly. They're trying to hide them but when she moves— her hips especially— they ring in her ear.

She knows she has them on the edge, just the same way they have her right there, ready to fall— already. Bracing herself.

She's not feeling drunk, there's no blurred vision, there's no intoxication from the spirits she drank earlier. Instead, she's tipsy on the lust, thirsty for more and how she cant wait to drink it all. She's calling the alcohol she shared with them a different version of Gryffindor Courage— what she wishes she possessed in ordinary days. Unfortunately for her, she needs the liquid kind, she's envious of their courage. Just has to drink for it.

"What's your name?" She hears Malfoy ask, making her open her eyes. "You still haven't told us, new friend." He's smug and whispering into her ear loud enough for Nott to hear too.

"I told you, I don't want you to know my name." She replies with his arms around her waist.

"Just tell us," Nott speaks into her ear too as her hand rests behind her, upon his shoulder. "You know our names."

"Pretty sure everyone knows your names." She smiles and closes her eyes again enjoying the music while talking.

"You're not wrong," Malfoy replies. "But what's stopping you?" She can feel his chest under her palm, the toned muscles through his shirt. As she noticed, he's broader but still maintaining the slim look without looking overly large.

"As you said, I want to be mysterious. And I don't want to risk you coming to find me after." She hears a chuckle in her ear as she speaks. "You'll be craving more."

"And we won't get more?" Nott questions with curiosity. "What if we promise to never go looking for you?"

"Would you be able to keep that promise? After finding out what I can do." The liquid version of Gryffindor Courage is really, _really_ helping her right now. Maybe too much. She won't stop though.

"Someone's confident." Malfoy pulls her into him closer. "We promise not to go looking for you."

She rolls her eyes and lets out a defeated groan, knowing they will never give up. She contemplates giving them a fake name, maybe Claudia. Or any fucking name but her own. That'd ensure her security in them never seeking her out. Obviously, there's still the risk of them seeing her, but they haven't seen her ever before, why would they see her now?

What name would she give them? What name would be realistic? What—

"Gianna—," _Fuck_. She couldn't stop herself. The truth spills out. "—Bell." _Fuck_.

"Bell." Malfoy tenses, she feels it.

"No— no relation." Knowing why he tensed, having heard all about it from Claudia— she eased him. She felt him relax.

"Pretty name for a pretty girl," Nott speaks charmingly as he continues to kiss down her neck again. "We won't look for you, Gianna."

Hearing her name roll off his tongue was something different. It made her tense, shiver. She's too far now. They know her real name. It's all very real.

She turns her head to Nott as he moves around, a smile on her red lips and she bites it. She's happy with what she heard. Her hand slides down to her side and behind her, gently placing her palm over his abdomen but not lowering further. Teasing him and watching as he smiles back up at her.

Now they know her name, it's just a matter of time.

The way Malfoy is breathing heavily, how his chest is heaving under her hand. Her own is staggered and with every inhale it's losing its rhythm. Hitching in her throat and she feels like she's holding her breath. She is under the water after all— but she also cheered for it to fill her lungs.

Things have taken such a turn and she doesn't mind— not one bit.

Malfoy starts to murmur into her ear as they keep dancing, and he's most definitely not fucking helping with her breathing with what he says.

"So what else do you like?" His lips pressing against that weakness again. "I already know you like this." Talking between soft sucks. "Would you like it if I went lower?"

Knowing what she meant she can't help but nod her head. He sees and follows down her jawline. "That's good to know."

Gianna tries so hard but an inaudible whimper leaves her, only she can hear it but she knows it's there.

Still so public, still in the common room. What is she doing?— what are _they_ doing? No one can see them, no one can see them. She has to keep telling herself that. There are so many people shuffling around them, they're all so intoxicated and in their own happy worlds. They're all distracted, no one can see them. No one can see them.

"No one can see us," Malfoy speaks again. Is she thinking out loud? Can he hear what she's thinking? "But if you want, we could go somewhere more— private."

Her lip is becoming swollen, she hasn't released it. It's still placed within her teeth and she can feel it becoming sore from the pressure. Without thinking about it she pulls herself away from them, sliding out of their grip and stands apart. They scowl not knowing at first what she's doing and why she's left them, looking at each other in confusion. Her eyes become dangerous and she starts to eye them both, chest heaving. Once she begins to walk backwards away from them— they realise.

She notes Malfoy licks his lips as he mirrors the dangerous, hungry look before he starts to step forwards. The strain in his jaw and the swallow he takes through his throat. How he runs his fingers through his hair when the smirk curls up on the corner of his lips. Them stormy eyes, darkening with deep intent and deadly satisfying motives.

Nott, how his mischievous smile shows on his full lips, ones she can't wait to kiss again. The way his hands neaten his shirt and fluff his hair up as he also takes a step towards her.

She's leading them away, her eyes speaking for her. The way she looks at them, telling them to follow her.

Gianna turns and starts to push through the towering figures and fellow students, creating a path for the boys to follow and only glancing back occasionally to make sure they're behind— and they are. It's all nonchalantly done, inconspicuous and no one would guess where they're about to go or what they're about to do.

But she knows, she knows exactly what they're about to do and she can't fucking wait. She just hopes she's smart, sensible and doesn't let her other side take over her— take control to the point where she makes a mistake and becomes too deep into it. The mix of emotions inside of her, the nervousness and elation. The expectancy of what's to come.

In the back of her head, there will always be the niggling thought of after, how things will work. What she will do but the other thoughts are too strong. The need, the beat, the pulse, that's what she's thinking with and that's what's leading her and the boys out of the makeshift dance floor and towards the entrance to the dormitory halls.

Her bare feet still on the floor, the cold stone beneath them. She doesn't care for where her heels are, she'll find them in the morning. Her hair tickling down her back as she walks out of the crowd, bouncing with each keen step she takes and sway of her hips.

They're behind her, their strides larger than hers and they overtake her. Making sure no one can see, they both take a wrist each and pull her up the stairs and through the entrance. She can't help but giggle, a small giggle filled with enthusiasm awaiting the euphoria and adrenaline she's about to experience. It's like fucking ecstasy to her.

Flashing their smiles, they lead.

Beginning the path to their room.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, the next chapter, I'm still learning so, yeah.


	4. One last time?

~*~

**6th September 1998**

Gianna's following them, but only because she doesn't know where their room is. They're dragging her eagerly, and she's letting them lead the way. It's only just gone past one a.m.— she's guessing. The party is starting to die down and people are disappearing into their rooms and own common rooms.

From towers to basements.

And she's disappearing too but to their dorm, still in the Dungeons. Not in her tower.

The rush is overpowering.

She can't see the halls through the shadows and green-tinted light, doesn't know what they look like but she's imagining the details. While they pull her through the maze of the never-ending dormitories she's catching glimpses of a place she's never even been before. The common room was the only place she ever ventured and ever wanted to endure, so this is all unfamiliar. It's darker than expected, that's all she can say.

And it is fucking dark, she could easily trip on something if it was in the middle of her path. She wouldn't see it.

They stop in front of a large wooden door with intricate carvings and almost immediately she's placed in between them again. Their lips and hands are everywhere— again. Knocking her off her feet but they catch her, engulfing her.

"You better be good." She lets out with a breathy giggle and they laugh in return. They all know this will be good.

Do they fucking know.

Nott kicks open the door behind her and they walk her in backwards. Malfoys lips are pressed into her neck, his teeth sinking into her deeply and hungrily. Nott never lets his hands leave her as he guides her hips with him, her arse firmly against his growing cock behind his pants.

She's giggling, she's stumbling, they all are. The world is spinning around them as they crash into the dorm room. The door swinging from the violent kick with such power and banging against the set of drawers by the entrance. A loud noise that should've startled them but she doesn't bat an eyelid. Didn't even register.

It's dark in the room, she can't see a thing— it only makes the hands around her more obvious, she's more sensitive to it. The touch is heightened and its everywhere on her small frame.

One of their fingers is teasing around her navel, edging down the more they walk into the room.

There's a hand on her arse and it's lifting the hem of her dress up to feel the skin, she can feel a cold press and that only makes her softly moan some more. Rings. It's a tight grip and their fingers are digging into her, almost painful but that's never stopped her before.

A hand wrapped around her the column of her throat as it's tilting her head to the side, her hair falling with it. They're sucking on her neck, they're nipping and she can feel their tongue play on her skin to taste her. Her hand clamps onto the back of his head as he does. Her fingers raking through wavy, soft hair— keeping him close, not wanting him to stop. She loves the warmth of his breath against her skin, the sensitivity of him suckling on her pulse point.

That fucking weakness.

His breathing in her ear; it's heavy, it's lustfully passionate with each inhale to exhale.

One of them is squeezing her breast through her dress with a full palm and their fingers are pinching her nipple with a twist through the silk.

Her other hand in a fist, creasing and holding tightly onto a shirt. It's an expensive shirt, she can tell from the fabric and the quality of it. She pulls him down to her, their lips brushing against each other as she does. She can smell the mint again, can taste it as her tongue runs against them both.

Their eyes are on each other, despite the darkness of the room she can still see them. She only sees them. They're too fucking hypnotising. The storm, the sparkle of the lightning.

The boys are groaning and she can feel them getting more excited, she's getting more excited. Malfoys biting on her bottom lip as he does, his hand using her arse to lift her onto her tiptoes.

Her dress starts to edge down, the straps descending over her shoulders and the boys waste no more time by pushing it down for her. She didn't choose to wear a bra that night, she's now thankful she didn't as the blond boy leans down to suck on the tops of her breasts after releasing her lip, switching between them both.

Still stumbling further in the room, the door being slammed shut behind them. She tries to focus for a moment, remembers what she needs to do. Gianna pulls out the wand that's strapped to her leg with the help of her underwear. " _Colloportus_." She whispers out and the boys' bedroom door clicks and locks, she listens out for it. She'd die if someone walked into the room. Gianna waves her wand around and casts _Muffliato_ for total privacy.

She really thanks herself for learning all these charms, they do come to be extremely helpful in times like this.

Quick thinking and she realises she should also do one last Charm, do it now before she forgets. Before she falls too deep into it. They're pulling and pushing her towards one of the beds in the room. A large four-poster like her own but with green curtains around it from what she can see through the darkness.

She needs to do it quick, fucking quicker.

She points her wand towards herself and casts the _Contraceptive Charm_. The magic seeps into her skin and she watches carefully. Satisfied it's complete she aimlessly throws her wand away and melts back into the grip of the boys as her feet find themselves stepping closer to the bed.

She steps out of her dress and kicks it away, leaving her in just a plain, black lace thong. She's already so exposed, she can't go back now. The only way is forward so she might as well do it properly.

Malfoy holds her nipple between his teeth, his tongue flicking against it before his lips wrap around and devour her skin. The sensations are everywhere, it's invigorating going from her neck down to the tips of her toes and she's feeling alive.

Thank fuck she's feeling alive. More than she did over summer, more than she ever has, already.

Nott lowers his hand further, down her abdomen and it slips under her thong. A small whimper leaves her lips as his fingers glide against her clit, teasingly and cruelly. She hates it, she needs it. She grabs his wrist and directs him to do more. Desperately needing more. Finally massaging her properly, no longer tormenting her— his digit circles her clit at a quickened pace then pushes down deeper but not fully into her.

Her body twitches as a smile grows on her face.

Her hips start bucking against his hand and he's pressing into her more to the point where she's grinding against him, his erection directly against her behind.

Malfoy slides his hands down her sides, dipping into her waist to follow her hips back out. His thumbs slip underneath the hem of her thong and gently pulls it down to fall around her ankles. Never letting his lips leave her chest, he nips at her softly; his eyes stuck on her face. She keeps seeing them shine whenever she looks down at him.

All their breathing is uncontrollable. Her lips are parted with each breathy moan leaving them, becoming overwhelmed with the motion between her legs and the way Malfoy is now licking her skin. His head up into the crook of her neck again, on the other side to Nott and his hands grasp onto her mark ridden breasts.

She feels Nott take his hand away and she whines out feeling the emptiness and lack of touch.

"Darling, one last time?" Nott whispers up into her ear, his tongue tickling the outer part.

"Yes!" She's growing impatient, it's unbearable. "I _need_ this."

And she does, the honest truth.

They continue but spin her around and this time Malfoy is behind her. Remembering that spot, he sucks onto her pulse point, letting his tongue run against her as his lips then move around her jaw, nipping at her skin. Nott moves his hand back down between her legs as the slickness growing drips onto his fingers. This time going further and they slide up into her entrance. A deep push and she's shocked at first but begs for more. The two digits curl up into her and tap against that spot perfectly.

"Oh—fuck." Breathless and whispering. Her eyes flutter from it.

Nott lowers his head to her chest and kisses all over the marks previously left by the blond— who is now placing a violent attack on her neck and shoulders.

She doesn't know where to put her hands so she goes for the best option. Dropping them both she places one in front and one behind— pressing her palms against both boys erect cocks through their pants.

They make more noises, panting heavily at the movement as they continue to kiss every inch of her skin. Nott uses his fingers inside to stretch her, dipping in deeper.

She wants to feel them more, needs to feel them more. Her fingers tease the buckles on their belts and she attempts to unfasten but she's got no luck— too distracted by them.

Too distracted by Nott, how he's tapping against her, twisting inside her.

"Can I have some help please boys?" She breathes out and they immediately know what she's talking about.

They unfasten their belts, pulling their hands away for a quick moment but Nott keeps his digits in place with the steady rhythm, his thumb hitting onto her clit simultaneously. She hears them undoing their pants as they pull off their shirts too— flinging them across the room, leaving them all naked together—tangled— as she predicted.

Their hands find their way back to her body.

Shuffling further to the bed, she wraps her slender fingers around both of their hard erections and starts a movement on them. Uses her thumb to brush the tips and feel the pre-cum seep out, spreading it along their lengths. Moving up and down on them and twisting her wrist with it.

Another groan from them and another moan from her as Nott's fingers thrust quicker. Feeling the pressure of them inside her. Hitting that spot, that fucking perfect spot that's making her body jolt from the pleasure.

Her body forms an arch, her chest pressing against Notts own and her rear pushing back against her hand that's holding onto Malfoy.

They spin her around once more to face Malfoy and without hesitation she's up on her tiptoes, her fingers snaking through his soft hair and she pulls him down. Crashing their lips together in a lust fuelled movement she parts hers, inviting his tongue into her mouth. He trails it along before dipping it in to explore fully.

She doesn't make it last longer, just a quick moment of weakness for him and she pulls away, smiling.

She can't deny, they're both fucking amazing kissers.

Now's the time, she's decided. She can't wait any longer. She needs it, it's hurting too much. An emptiness that's aching, not satisfied by Nott's fingers alone.

She's feeling bold, she knows what she wants. She doesn't regret what she's about to say or do.

"Who's going first?" Laughing out a moan and they laugh with her, exhaling onto her skin with smiles. They don't need to speak, they've decided without saying a word and she feels Nott pulling her hips back for a couple of steps.

She can't stop smiling as she bends over. Her arse pushes further against Nott and she can feel his hand slowly guiding his cock to her, sliding it along her clit and through her folds to start as she spreads her legs to maintain a strong stance.

She loves this position, it's her favourite. She can feel it all and if the boy pushes at the right angle he can slide along her g-spot every time. She prays Nott knows what to do.

Malfoy sits on the edge of the bed, his knees spread and he smiles at her. She lowers her head to a level with Malfoys crotch. His length in line with her lips that are curling into a devilish smirk as their eyes meet again. Them stormy eyes peering down at her.

The lightning waiting to strike.

She licks her lips and raises her hands, sliding them along his thighs before one holds onto his waist, the other to his cock directing it to her pursed lips. The tip just resting on her bottom lip, more pre-cum dripping onto it.

"Fuck—." Malfoy mutters, staring at her with a burning gaze. His hands pull up her hair— out of her face and she's thankful; shows it by opening her mouth further as her tongue licks away the cum and runs along the head knowing the sensitivity of it.

A moan leaves her as she feels the added pleasure from Nott finally entering her. A slow stroke in, stretching her as her walls hug him tightly. His hands placed firmly on her hips pulling her back to him.

"Oh, shit—." Nott moans, going as deep as he can to then pull out slightly, sliding against her clit again, preparing himself for quicker thrusts. She prepares herself too, the anticipation building.

Her mouth forms a perfect circle and pulls in Malfoys length further, swirling her tongue around and slurping through hollowed cheeks. All while Nott develops a rhythm behind her, gliding in and his grip getting tighter onto her arse, his fingers digging in deeper.

Gianna throws her hips back to meet him and arches her back further to raise them higher. Using Malfoy for balance her nails bore into the side of his hip, her eyes stuck onto his face. She watches as his head knocks back with parted lips and laboured breathing. Bobbing her head further up and down his cock for it to reach the back of her throat, she slackens her jaw in doing so.

She prides herself on a lack of gag reflex— but, she makes a gagging noise anyway. Gianna wants him to know he's reaching the back of her throat. As she's pulled back again by Nott, she sticks out her tongue to follow it up Malfoy's entirety.

"Oh fuck— that's so— so _fucking_ — good." Malfoy pants out— rapidly becoming overwhelmed. She adores the adulation, knowing she's doing her job well and the same is coming from Nott.

"Such a good— good girl for us Gianna." Notts praising words like worship to her ears. " _Fuck_ — so good darling." Rocking into her quicker and she's feeling him glide along that spot she so wanted him to.

She can't take her eyes away from Malfoy though. There's something so enticing about him that's just helping with the climb. The way her hair is wrapped around his large hands and into fists, the way he's thrusting his hips up into her mouth further. She moans around him, sending vibrations through his cock. Muffled and unable to speak clearly she keeps moaning, making almost grotesque noises from the spit. Her free hand filling the empty space —when there is some— between her lips and his abdomen.

Nott is becoming aggressive behind her, thrusting in with power— relentlessly. The bubbling sensation developing inside her.

Taking a breather she pulls her lips away from Malfoy.

"Oh fuck— _please_!" She moans out, begs out— her eyes rolling back. Malfoy grabs her chin, his thumb stroking her jaw then pulling down her bottom lip. "Fuck!" She continues. He pulls her face to look at him— he watches her fall into the pleasure, how her eyes droop, how she's biting on her lip to keep her whimpers contained, letting only a few escape.

Malfoy speaks down to her as he watches. "Our good girl— keep going, you're almost there."

She keeps her hands on Malfoys hips, her body bouncing off of Nott.

"Gianna— fuck!" Nott groans, loudly. "Come for me darling— let me make you come."

She nods, barely able to say anything and lets it rush through her. Her stomach tenses and flutters around him. Total euphoria, flowing in her veins like ecstasy. Tingling, a blissful pulsation of endorphins filling her as she comes.

"Oh— fuck!" She lets out a final moan before wrapping her lips around the head of Malfoy again. Her eyes watching him smile at her, his hands pushing her head further down on him.

Nott snaps a few more times and she can feel him twitching inside her, profanity falling from his lips along with endless praise.

"Fuck— Gianna— fuck!" Suddenly she feels him leave and the painful emptiness returns as he releases onto her back. "Fucking hell." Nott gives out a short-winded groan, holding her still. Breathing heavily while he takes a moment to compose. She feels his hands leave her hips as he talks again. "Malfoy— how's she doing on your end?" Amusement in his tone, playful and comforting.

She loves it.

Gianna keeps bobbing her head trying her best not to smile. Coming down from her high and focusing on Malfoy, swirling her tongue and peering up at him.

"Fuck— fucking amazing— but I think I need more." He smirks down with his moan, pulling up her face to look at him clearly and away from his length. He uses his thumb to wipe away the spit dripping from the side of her mouth and pushes it into her mouth.

She feels Nott wipe her back with his fingers and they stand her up straight, twirling her around with her back to Malfoy. He lifts his fingers to her lips and pulls down her bottom one, his cum dripping onto them as he does.

"Suck on these for me, be our good girl." He speaks coolly, his lips curling slightly as his eyes bore into her. She smiles and parts her lips following his command, running her tongue along them before using it to pull him into her mouth. He groans as they remain in eye contact, watching each other closely as she swirls around. She sees from the corner of her eyes Nott pass Malfoy a muggle condom, and she feels the excitement build up again.

That fucking climb, she'll reach the top again. She knows it.

Malfoy pulls her hips back to him. His large hands stretch around her waist and she falls onto his lap. She places a leg on either side of his knees and he spreads them.

"Are you going to let me feel you around my cock now too?" Malfoy mumbles into her ear as he pushes her hair to one side of her neck, letting it fall down her front. "I want to know."

"Oh she feels wonderful— I guarantee," Nott replies while pulling his fingers away from her mouth and grabs her chin to look at him.

"You're too kind." She remarks confidently, biting her lip. Gianna lifts her hips for Malfoy to hold his cock and he aligns it with her sensitive core. She lowers herself and feels him push deep into her. She whimpers out with it, her eyes immediately rolling back again.

"Oh fuck— Nott you didn't lie." Malfoy groans, biting down onto her shoulder as he speaks.

Nott crouches down in front of them to watch, she uses his shoulders for balance and smiles at him. His hands cupping her elbows as she begins to lightly bounce up and down on Malfoy.

She can feel that peak coming back, the second round of highs ready to take her into an overdose. With the way Malfoy is groaning out and how tense he is under her, she knows he's close too.

"Good girl— one more time. Do it for us." Nott raises a hand to her face, holding onto her chin and keep their eyes together. The room still being dark means she can only just see the satisfied expression on his face. She admires the way he looks, noticing the calm look of his eyes amongst the sharp features.

She's quickly distracted back to what's happening.

"Fuck—oh fuck! I'm close— I'm coming." She feels it like she's lifting out of her body. Feeling Malfoys hands on her hips, pulling her down on him. How he's kissing her neck in the process, muttering into her ear how much he's enjoying it.

She leans her head back onto Malfoys shoulder. Beaming a smile, arching her back dramatically. No longer with eyes on Nott and her hands grabbing onto her own breasts, massaging them.

"Together?" Malfoy whispers into her ear and she nods, they laugh quietly. Inaudible screams leaving her, just short and shallow breaths.

And she came— again.

"Oh— oh my— fuck!" She moans out but it's interrupted by Nott leaning over her, capturing her lips. Silenced by his irresistible touch against her own— instead she just quietly groans into him.

Then Malfoy bites into her neck again and right on that weakness he knows is hers. Feeling him shake as his arms wrap tightly around her waist. Slowly they come to a stop, her hips relaxing but remaining on his lap for a moment longer as the kiss deepens between her and Nott.

Nott places both hands on either side of her face before lifting her up to her feet. Her lips part with a whine leaving Malfoy and Nott's tongue slips into it, swirling together.

Still not fully down from her highs she's in a trance, can't think straight and just lets them take control— willingly.

She feels Malfoy join them behind her and they hold her up securely.

The blond whispers into her ear again. "Do you want to stay here?" He asks, kissing her gently.

This wasn't something she was used to— all the praise, all the encouragement. She enjoyed it— yes— but, it's not what she usually asked for. She finds it surprising, hearing it come from these boys too— would never have guessed. Maybe they just want to make her feel comfortable with something like this? They didn't know about the stuff she'd really get up to, the stuff she tried a lot over summer. What she really likes. So she doesn't hold that against them, thankful in ways, they made the experience better for her.

She swallows and comes back to Earth, feeling the heaviness in her eyes. The small effects of the Firewhiskey wearing off and causing her to yawn. She nods her head in response to Malfoy with not much else being needed to say, she doesn't have anything to say actually. She's still caught up in euphoria.

Malfoy pulls, Nott pushes and they all fall onto one of the four-posters. In between them both, she rests her head down on the feather pillow, her back to Malfoy and facing Nott.

She can't help but find this strange— how she's sleeping in their bed. She only met them a few hours ago, with absolutely no intentions of doing anything other than sleeping in her own bed for the night. Yet here she is, trembling in their arms, naked— and there's an uncontrollable need to laugh.

She wants to fucking laugh. It's fucking strange.

Gianna remembers her plan; to stay for a couple of hours then slip out discreetly and head down to the lake. With how their bodies are knotted together she knows it won't be the easiest of tasks but she doesn't really care anymore. She doesn't want to stay longer than she should. That's just not the way she does things— even sleeping is going a step too far.

But fuck it, she's already broken the rule of doing anything like this with boys from school so what will a couple of hours in their bed do?

Through all the thinking her eyes closed and she found herself drifting away into a deep slumber engulfed by the heat radiating off the boys.

A knot in her stomach, uneasy feelings but she ignores it. Focuses on the bliss, the way she feels alive, how they made her feel fucking alive.

The dreams takeover.

~*~

Gianna wakes to find herself still on the boys' bed, she doesn't know why but she was expecting to be on her own. The dreams being so deep, she'd lost all trace of where she really was. All recollection of the events from last night had slipped her mind but when her eyes shot open she remembers.

Laying on her back, head tilted to the left. She sees brown wavy hair and his face away from hers but his arm is around her stomach. She rolls her head carefully —without stirring too much— to the right and she sees blond hair. It's sticking up in places, the styled mess now more dishevelled without a pattern. His nose is almost touching hers when she turns and she can't see the eyes that captivated her.

Gently lifting Nott's arm she shimmies down the bed, sliding out between them to reach the foot of the bed expertly done.

She is a fucking professional in this subject.

Over summer she spent many nights pretending to be asleep in the bed of a boy she'd only just met that evening. She'd wait for them to doze off fully before rolling out and sneaking out of his house or apartment— whatever building she found herself in really.

Some wizards, some muggles.

It was her favourite time of the day, the early mornings.

And the walks, the fucking walks. The clarity in its own, a chance to be alone.

Sitting carefully at the foot of the bed she scans the room— now lit up with a lighter shade of green. She can tell that the sun is starting to rise outside with the way it's peeking through the water from the other side of the windows.

Locating her dress and wand she makes haste in picking them up and fixing herself. Taming her hair down with her palms, wiping away any smudged makeup with her fingers and pulling the dress back up and on. She realises she's missing her thong when she finds herself holding onto her wand with nowhere to put it.

Gianna takes one more glance at the boys sleeping soundly on one of the three beds in the room.

Three?

Guilt covers her realising they probably locked their roommate out for the night— did they even get a warning? Was she a bad person? She hated that Claudia did that to herself. Guilt, fucking guilt but it just makes leaving all the easier.

" _Alohomora_." She whispers, and the door clicks open. She pushes it gently and opens it just a crack big enough for her slim frame to glide through the gap and effortlessly. Closes the door and makes her way —with difficulty— out of the maze called the dormitory halls and towards the common room. Peering around at the halls that look exactly how she pictured.

An eerie glow covers the common room as she notices the empty bottles and cups lying on the floor. Small pools on the stone from spilt drinks, leftover blunt stubs, baggies that have been emptied and a girl.

Shoulder length, raven hair that's been pulled into a low ponytail. Her back to Gianna and sat on one of the infamous green leather couches.

"Oh shit," Gianna mutters under her breath, hoping the Slytherin girl didn't hear— can see she's Slytherin with the way she's sighing at the mess, how her head is turning to examine it all with disapproval.

She can see the door in her eye line and plans a route around. Gianna takes one step without looking down and her barefoot touches a glass bottle making it roll along the stone floor, echoing in the silence.

"Shit."

The girl on the couch swivels her whole body in a startled manner, eyes wide. "What the—," her eyes soften and she smiles instead. "Oh— hi."

"Hi." That's all Gianna can figure to say, biting onto her lip nervously. Shes stopped fucking breathing at this point.

"Well aren't you a cheeky girl." The dark-haired girl rests her elbows on the back of the couch and her chin places itself in her palms. "I don't think we've met before."

Gianna laughs nervously. Feeling sick from the situation, waiting to inevitably vomit if she has to stand in there for much longer. "Erm— no, but I have to get going." She quickly speaks and walks a bit quicker away.

"Wait! Not so fast girlie, I want to know who you were with." She giggles mischievously, revelling in how she's caught Gianna sneaking out. "Out with it."

"No one—"

"Come on—"

"No one, I just—"

"Fine— don't tell me." She huffs defeatedly. "Are you going to tell me your name? It'll help when I start interrogating my boys at breakfast." She continues, pushing Gianna for more answers with her big smile.

"I'm going to say no again, I was never here— okay?" Gianna pleads, begs for the secret to being kept.

"Oh, bloody hell— fine." She rolls her eyes. "I'll tell you I'm not happy about the confidentiality of your night but I'm proud of you, good on you girl." She laughs and Gianna relaxes.

The girls' eyes fall down to Gianna's bare feet.

"Shoes?"

"Oh fuck— I left them around here somewhere. I'll find them and leave—"

"Let me help." The girl stands up from the couch and turns her head to look around the distorted common room, rummaging through the mess. "Pansy by the way— Parkinson. You can know my name at least." Another flash of her smile and Gianna smiles in exchange.

The girls spend around ten minutes routing through the room but have no luck and Gianna accepts it's a lost cause. She's not fussed, doesn't really care for her shoes anyway.

"Thank you for helping but I don't think we're going to find them— I should probably go now anyway." She speaks quietly heading back towards the door.

"Anytime mysterious girl." She giggles again and waves Gianna out of the room. "Might see you around sometime!"

"I doubt it."

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, hopefully, I somewhat improve in the coming chapters. Thank you for reading so far.


	5. Will you now?

~*~

**6th September 1998**

The cold air hit her just as expected. The freshness wakes her up immediately with a push back from the shock of it. Almost knocking her straight off fucking her feet, sending her flying. The desolate castle no longer in ruins, stirring with silence as she wanders through the courtyard. The morning breeze howling through the arches.

The sun rising further in the distance— peachy pinks and oranges starting to paint the sky above as it lightens slowly.

She wraps her arms around herself as security and for a bit of warmth— the silk dress still being the only item of clothing she wears, just covering her enough. She doesn't mind— it's the cold she's here for. More like a reflex, automatically done without even thinking.

She does often wonder why she's so attracted to the cold. Thinks maybe the bitterness helps her remember where she is, stops her from drifting too far into her mind. If she did, she'd go over all the details again, the memories of what happened months ago. All that she can't forget and in some ways, wishes she could.

She's abandoned her heels, couldn't find them anywhere and figures that's what she deserves for being so reckless with them. Just leaving them in the common room, running away to be carefree and wild— doesn't regret doing it though. She had a fucking amazing time being carefree and wild.

They weren't her favourite pair anyway.

She doesn't really give a fuck either, her main priority is heading to her nirvana, her place of solace.

That pebbled beach and the bank of soft green grass.

Her hair tickles her back and down her arms, adding a little extra layer of warmth with it being so thick. The voluminous waves, knotted— thanks to a certain blond last night. She did attempt to untangle before she came outside but the wind is blowing it around too much to control.

Another lost cause.

Much like herself, she thinks, maybe she's a lost cause.

Once she reaches the grassy hill, her feet feel the comfort as opposed to the stone and rocks. Her toes curl in the blades of grass and Gianna ambles further. The morning air fills her nose with a deep inhale and how she loves the smell of it— mixed with the smell of the freshwater the closer she gets.

Finding the perfect spot, right by the lake— far away from the school, she takes her seat on the floor. Relaxed finally, she stretches her arms with a yawn to fall back. Her head lands on the floor and she looks up to the sky while laying down.

Peace, tranquillity and silence.

Just what she fucking wanted, it's absolutely perfect.

Gianna tries to guess the time. By how high the sun is, the time of year— all into consideration she concludes around five a.m.— giving her plenty of time to enjoy her solitude before eventually —if she can or if she wants to— going back to her room and staying there for the rest of the day. There's that book waiting for her, the one she wanted to read last night.

 _Oh_ — last night.

Last fucking night.

She can't stop thinking about last night now. The gorgeous boys. Their hands, their lips and _oh fuck_ — she melts into the grass. To her, it's one of the best possible ways to start off the year— she hates to admit it. With everything happening in their world and what had taken place, she does feel guilty for indulging— did over summer occasionally. But as Claudia told her— what she knows is true, she needs to move on.

She's just worried. It's out of the ordinary for her. To spend so much time with someone other than Claudia— let alone two other fucking people. And where they found themselves too and how they—

She giggles.

Fucking giggles.

No, not just that, she snorts. Thinking about it.

And it's the only noise she's made since talking to Pansy Parkinson in the green obsessed common room. Fucking giggling, fucking snorting. She can't believe herself and now she can't stop. Like a little girl, giddy. It's that uncontrollable urge to laugh again— at somewhat awkward situations where she doesn't know how exactly to express her emotions.

It's not in the same league but she looks back at other times when her laughing wasn't the most appropriate. Her mother had found out about losing a distant relative a year ago, it was quite an emotional time for them. But amongst everything, Gianna laughed. She laughed, smiled— she tried to stop it, she really did but in the end, she had to excuse herself from the room and compose herself. She thought there was something wrong, that she was crazy. But after looking into it— she found it was a healthy response, a way to let humour replace the negative experience.

And it did help, still does help, so she gives.

She keeps giggling. Laughing at herself, almost embarrassed by her behaviour— but the memories are there and she's going over things. Everywhere she was touched, kissed and how they held onto her. It wasn't like any other times, it was a new level. Probably because there were two of them— she laughs again. They're not fucking helping her with the addiction that's for sure, she's just craving it more. But she's thinking what could she have done better or differently? Were they safe enough? Why did they ask if she wanted to stay over? Bit odd—maybe?

Picking at the skin of her cuticles she sees a bird fly over her. A shiver tingles through her from a breeze up her dress and she stops thinking.

The ticking ends.

As a distraction, she pulls out her wand. Aiming it to the sky she sets off small colourful sparks, just out the tip without being too bright or noticeable— a bit of fun and practice that'll in no way help in the future but still, practice. Flitwick always told her to practice whenever she could. A bird chirps in the distance and it disturbs her peace, so a little _Quietus Charm_ is used bringing back the silence. She smiles and closes her eyes again, dropping her wand to her side onto the grass, lifting her knees up.

She could easily fall asleep out here, contentment washing over as she did.

Her heart rate is slowing, her mind drifting and she's almost asleep but— someone speaks.

"Well, well, well."

_You've got to be fucking kidding me._

She knows that voice. She keeps her eyes closed and takes a deep breath to steady the uneasy emotions welling up inside. Heart racing once more. It's obvious who that is, and she can't quite believe what is happening. She literally only just fucking snuck out, she's only been down here for an hour— at the most and he's already fucking found her.

Walking down the hill, heading towards her.

"If it isn't my _lovely_ new friend."

A heavy —extremely heavy— sigh. "You made a promise." She doesn't move, stays in her laying down position hoping he doesn't bother her any more than he already has— but she's stupid to think that, she knows she is.

"I wasn't looking, love, I was merely on a morning stroll and happened to see a lonely, pretty girl who I thought would like some company." Closer he gets and his voice— that fucking charm, it'll be the death of her one day, she predicts it. "You're awfully alone right now Gianna."

"I'm okay, not an issue with me. You can leave." She replies coldly. She really does just want the peace and quiet, not to be bothered, to enjoy the sound of the wind and the water. Even the birds chirping as they wake up is more tolerable than a conversation. But no, fat fucking chance of being in silence now.

"Well I'm afraid— I'm staying." Nott takes a seat next to her but with a meters distance. His legs out in front with a knee up, leaning back on his forearms and throwing his head back, relaxed— she sees through the corner of her eye. "Don't you just love autumn air?" He asks, taking in a deep inhale.

"I do." She can't lie.

"I love the morning air too— in general. Find it so refreshing. Especially after busy, strenuous evenings." He states and she rolls her head to glance over to him, seeing his eyes are closed but a smug expression. Fully loose and calm. "Why are you out here Gianna?"

He's wearing a simple grey knitted jumper and black jeans. Warmer options to what she's wearing. But she's not envious. He's sensible yes— but she wants to feel the cold remember.

She sighs— again, realising he will be having a conversation and there's no way to get him to stop.

Why did she tell them her name?

Why does she like hearing it from him?

"I wanted some peace and quiet. You're making a terrible habit of ruining that." She jokes back. Her head is still facing him.

"Well I give my most sincere apologies, however, aren't you glad I did last night?" So calmly said, doesn't even move a muscle as he talks.

She ignores him.

"I'm sure happy I did. Imagine if I hadn't, where would we be right now?"

"I'd be alone right now." Sarcasm lacing her tone.

"Ever so friendly, Gianna." Finally, his head turns, eyes open and he meets her own. She realises she's been watching him for too long and he knows it. There's a refrained smirk on him as his eyes slowly glance down at her. How her dress is stupidly short, how it's falling up her thighs due to elevated knees.

She's not really bothered, it's less exposed than she's been with him before.

Their eyes meet again, lingering before he faces upwards once more. That smirk, still there, more visible. He can't hold it back.

She rolls her eyes and mirrors him, looking to the sky.

"So peace and quiet, wanting to be alone, anyone would think you're not the social kind." He mocks.

"And they would be correct." She replies, snaking her fingers through the blades of grass as she does.

"Ah— so that'll explain why I've never seen you around before. A girl— who doesn't want me to know her name— who's willing to do what she did last night but prefers to be in the shadows and alone." She's thinking he's smart, hit the nail on the fucking head with that one. "Why's that?"

"Asking a lot of questions aren't we?"

"Was that a question from yourself?" He smiles. "Okay, another question— tell me, Gianna, why did you leave me to share a bed with Malfoy? I was hoping to wake up and see a pretty brunette— not a moody blond." He laughs and she can't help but smile. She never thought about it like that, quite amusing in how she left them.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" She jokes.

"Absolutely not. He wouldn't have been able to help my situation when I woke up this morning." He raises his brows so she knows what he means.

A small noise comes from the back of her throat as a contained laugh. "I'm sure you two would've been able to sort each other out." Her head rolling to face him again, the side of her cheek tickled by short grass before she sits up. Putting her hands behind her back to hold herself up at a slight angle. He does the same, rising from his elbows.

"He's a pretty boy. I'll give him that— but I prefer women, Gianna." He smirks over to her, another glance at her legs then back to her face— more her lips than anything— she can see it. "I like your name, but it's a bit of a mouthful. Is there anything else I can call you?"

"I think you're forgetting your promise, you weren't supposed to come looking for me, let alone make up nicknames." She frowns, he's getting too close and personal.

"Alright— I know, I know." Throwing his hands up in surrender. "You don't want the informalities of knowing names but you've already come so far, quite literally." He winks at her and she can't help but laugh. "What do you want me to call you?"

"Well after this morning, hopefully— you'll never have to speak to me again." She retorts back, stopping the smile. "So nothing, there's no point. Please."

"That's just cold." Nott sucks in his cheeks and bites them. He's in thought. She looks at how his action accentuates his cheekbones, his jaw more prominent and maybe it's the natural lighting but he's better looking the more she examines. "Gia."

That's her nickname with Claudia— only Claudia calls her that.

"I shall be calling you Gia."

"Oh— will you now?" She asks dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, Gia. So why are you so cold and bitter?"

"I like the cold, suppose a personality to match would be suitable." She replies and moves her eyes back to the lake, watching the water shimmer under the rising sun. Reflecting the heavens.

"I see. So you like the cold? Is that why you're out here at the crack of dawn in a dress like that?" Mocking and she knows his eyes are on her dress again. The dress he helped pull off last night.

"Precisely. I also had nothing else to wear. Wasn't going to steal any of your clothes now was I?"

"I would've been more than happy to oblige, it's the least I could do— after you being so generous to me last night." Maybe it's the way he's looking at her like he could devour her. Like he's wondering what she looks like in this light too— without her dress. That's what she's assuming anyway.

But her heart is racing.

And she's hit with a flashback.

And she can feel that pulse again— it's making her giggle, not the most appropriate of timings. She bites her lip, holding it back and changes the subject.

"Why are you out here?" She asks, hiding how she desperately wants to rub her thighs together— that flashback going off in her mind. On repeat. Him, behind her, holding her hips and calling her a good girl— she needs to stop.

She swallows and focuses on what he's saying.

"Well, I felt like I needed a walk, after my— _our_ eventful evening—"

That flashback like a strobe light, all she can see— he's not helping. He stretches his arms with a yawn, glancing over at her— it's all he's fucking doing —the looking, the glances— and she's getting hotter. Why is she doing this? Why is she wanting him again?

Why is he making her weak?

It's his smile, the way his hair loosely covers his forehead, his eyes that look greener in the daylight. The friendly nature of the conversation disguising his hidden meanings— the hidden meanings she can see.

He's thinking the same as her, has to be. Must be.

"— and I have this to smoke." Nott pulls out a small, tightly wrapped spliff from his pocket as he mentions it— perfectly rolled and immediately Gia licks her lips, watching. "Now might be my only chance without that other fucker stealing it from me."

Deeply intrigued, her mouth waters, hungry for the taste to be on her tongue already and she's only just fucking looked at it.

What is it? Six in the fucking morning? And she's already thinking about smoking. Of course, she is, the real question would be when is she not? Blame summer, it's summer's fault. There are just too many different kinds to try— and each of them so delicious in its way. She's staring at it, wondering. How does he have that? Why does he have that? As she realised, it's six in the fucking morning, surely that's too early to have a smoke? Is it? Maybe not?

"You're staring a lot Gia, is this something you like?" Nott questions, putting the joint between his lips lazily, letting it hang as he watches her. He lifts his wand and sets a small flame from the tip, igniting the end and it immediately starts to burn. Within seconds the smell hits her — oh the smell, she's practically drooling. "You haven't answered me."

"I— I do like them." She can't take her eyes off of it, biting onto her bottom lip. She can't, it's too early, it's a Sunday. She can't, she won't. Won't.

"Do you want some then?" He asks and edges a bit closer to her, shuffling along the grass closing the gap between them. It's stronger, the smell. The burning of the paper with fire, the wood and pine effect. Salivating wildly.

"Is it not a bit early?" Trying to reason, battling with herself.

"Never. What's better than starting the day with a little high ready for breakfast?" He takes a deep drag finally, the smoke filling his mouth for it to fall down his throat and reach his lungs. Gianna watches it all, mesmerised through fixed eyes— eyes she can't fucking drag away from him. Nott reaches up and pulls it away from his mouth with his thumb and index finger to idly hold it as he looks back to Gianna, blowing the smoke to the side. "So?" He asks again.

All she can do is nod her head as she watches him take another drag before reaching for it with her slender fingers— to pull it out of his lips. But he stops her— lightly pushing her raised hand away from his face. Instead, he pulls out the joint himself. His other hand comes to her cheek, his thumb separates her lips and he leans in.

With their lips touching, he blows the smoke directly into her mouth.

Her eyes wide with shock but when she feels it fall into her lungs she relaxes and closes them. Letting it course through her— a big inhale.

But it's what he does next that really startles her. His tongue slides into her mouth and his hand moves to the back of her head. His fingers grab onto her hair and hold her to him with no space for her to pull away. No space to breath. His lips mashing into her own.

And she doesn't want to pull away, doesn't want to breathe. His lips— they're fucking irresistible, she noticed that last night and she kisses him back. Mirroring his hunger.

Her fingers rake through his soft, chocolate coloured hair. Gently tugging at the wavy strands to pull him away for a quick moment, only to blow out the smoke left in her mouth. Immediately he lets out a small growl and dives back onto her.

It's like a fire just ignited inside her, burning and now that's it's ablaze, there's no stopping it. Her whole body's on fucking fire. If it wasn't for the cold air around her she'd burn alive.

Laying her down onto the grass he climbs in between her legs, spreading them open— letting her dress ride up further and bunch up around her waist, revealing her thong. One of his hands still holding onto the joint expertly away from them, the other cupping her cheek with his fingers curling under her jaw, forcing her to remain against him.

She's melting, letting him and doing the same. Making a fist in his locks, moaning into him and he swallows it. She holds tightly onto his jumper down his side, lifting it up slightly as she does. Her nails dig into him. Between her legs she can feel his erection growing and pressing against her clothed clit— bucking his hips faintly, rubbing against it.

She can't stop herself— she starts to adjust her own, lifting them up and allowing him to hit it further, at a better angle. And she's panting, the kiss growing heavier and she can't believe it. After all, they did last night, she's letting it happen again.

Where's this fucking self-control she claims to have? She's giving in to him. Too fucking easily.

But it feels so fucking good.

He groans into her. His hips thrusting at a quicker pace as his head lowers to the crook of her neck. Nott places wet kisses all along the column of her throat as she leans her head back further arching her back with it. He's eager, the movements are faster and there's no restraint.

She's smiling.

"We— we shouldn't." She lets out an unconvincing protest but it's covered by a whimper. "Nott— we—"

"Theo." Correcting her. "Call me Theo, Gia." He doesn't stop, his soft lips suck on her skin more, aggressively and his teeth graze along her jugular.

Her knees rise higher, opening wider for him to have more freedom. Her way of saying keep going.

The hand holding onto the spliff comes to her face and he places it between her lips.

"Hold this for me, darling." Casually speaking while his head lowers to her chest. Both of his hands pull the spaghetti straps of her dress down her shoulders for it to reveal her breasts. The cold air hitting them immediately and her nipples harden from the chill. Viciously, his lips and teeth attack her, adding to the marks left by both the boys the night before.

She never got round to using a spell to cover them, thought she'd do it later. Being alone meant she didn't have to yet, but now he's just adding to them.

"Theo— we—we can't." She moans, louder with the joint between her lips so she takes it between her fingers instead. Her hand falling to the side of them, it's burning as they move.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asks between sucks.

"No—no." Breathless.

"Thought so."

Another weakness, her breasts. One squeeze, one suck and she's theirs and there's no stopping her. Evident when Theo wraps his lips around her nipples and plays with them— using his tongue. His other hand kneading with a full palm on her other breast.

"Fuck— Theo." Writhing beneath him. Her hips bucking up against him.

"You sound _so fucking good_ when you say my name like that." His teeth biting down with the mumble as he peers up at her. Rocking on her with a wish there weren't clothes between them. She's enjoying it— too much. "You didn't lie when you said I'd want more— fuck— Gia."

Her eyes are fluttering and rolling back from the irrepressible sensations around her body.

And she thinks maybe this is a dream— it's surreal— it happening so quickly. She's breaking her rules— she's not supposed to see him again but he's between her legs, she's moaning for him.

Why is she letting this happen?

Then he kneels up. Pulling himself off her, she drops her back and her eyes open to look at him— in frustration almost, wondering why he stopped. But there's a determined expression on him as his hands grasp her hips and he looks down to her thong covering her.

That's when she notices his hands— how she didn't notice them before baffles her. His are just as large and oh fuck— how they stretch out on waist to lift her up. His fingers curl under the hem of her thong and she watches as he pulls it down to her knees then to her ankles.

She stops breathing, her lips gaping open.

He glances at her as he licks his lips. She feels a knot in her stomach— excitement, anticipation. She knows what he's got his mind on.

As he looks down at her she can see the way his eyes darken, it's a hunger in him— quite literally.

"Fucking hell Gianna." He takes two fingers and glides them on her pussy. "You're so wet—what a fucking sight." Separating her folds as he does and she can feel how easily they slide just how wet she is.

She's biting on her lip so hard she thinks it might bleed. Her chest heaving and her eyes stuck on him, watching him. Everything he does; she's growing more attracted to him by the second.

Then he takes his fingers away from her— and puts them in his mouth.

And it's the little whimper from her swollen lips to let him know she's needing it. Regretfully so, breaking all her rules in the process.

Fuck the rules. One more time won't hurt— it's only something little. Hardly something to worry over. She'll feel amazing, then tomorrow— tomorrow she can start avoiding them. Go back to not knowing them— she already doesn't know them.

"Oh fuck— you taste as good as you look." He groans, sucking on his fingers. Closing his eyes as he does with a look of enjoyment.

The urge to close her legs —to rub her thighs together and feed the friction needed— is immeasurable but when he lifts them up and puts them over his shoulder as he lowers his head— she realises this is better, significantly better.

His hands grip her thighs as she feels his hot breath fanning against her pussy. Just that alone has her back arching up again.

His tongue rolls onto her clit, slowly for a tease, before he dives in deeper. Flicking against her, quicker, skilfully so— and she moans. It's quiet, she tries to hold it back but it's getting louder the more his tongue is on her. His lips sucking on her clit, his teeth lightly touching as he does— and it's sending her into fucking orbit.

"Theo— fuck, Theo." Her fingers grip tightly onto his hair, almost directing him but there's no need. This boy knows what he's doing and she's crumbling with the pleasure. It's taking over her. She's nearly completely forgotten her surroundings.

Six in the morning. Six in the morning. No one's awake at six in the morning— especially on a Sunday. No one's going to be down here, there are trees in the way, there are bushes, they're far away from the school.

Like she's not laying on the grass with Theo.

Theo, who's moving his fingers into her entrance, pushing them in and curling them up, tapping at that fucking spot he knows to find. That fucking spot that's making her shake in his grasp. That spot that's got her whimpering for more, pleading with her last breath.

And they have a steady rhythm— in and out while his tongue plunges deeper. Lapping up anything that flows out of her, and the more he does the more there is.

Then it's the humming, he's humming. Sending vibrations through her core and she can feel it tingle in her whole body. Her stomach tightening, aching with the need to release. That fire he lit, it's raging wildly.

"Gianna, come on my tongue." He demands and she can't even speak. Just nods. Nods her head as that tightness in her abdomen starts to come undone.

The way her back arches dramatically, how her legs clench around his head, her thighs almost suffocating him. He doesn't stop, will keep going until she's completely released. Sucking harder, licking quicker, letting his tongue glide up and down, his two fingers in and out. There's no area untouched, the sloppy kisses he's leaving all in her pussy— and she wants to scream at the top of her lungs.

The only words she can produce are more begs, inaudible to him, however. Whispered whimpers and beseeches of _please— please let me come_. She's so close, that climb is almost done and the peak is in sight.

It's one final, deep roll to suck that outshines the rest.

And she reaches the top.

"Fuck! Oh, Theo!" She comes with high intensity and he cleans her out. Like a tsunami of pleasure, rushing over her and quite literally out of her.

She goes limp, trembling and shaking. Drops her legs and lets go of his hair. She didn't even realise how tight of a grip she must've had on him, worrying she'd pulled his hair out but thankfully she didn't.

Theo pulls himself away and she watches him through tired eyes as he licks his lips again, wiping any remains from the corners of his mouth with his thumb before pushing it into his mouth. A wide smile as he looks back at her.

Panting heavily, all she can think to do is smoke and she pulls the burning joint back to her lips to take a long, well-needed drag. As her arm falls back down to her side she blows it out, closing her eyes. She needs to steady her heart rate, it's pounding too much. But it doesn't when Theo helps pull her thong back up her legs and her dress down to cover her again.

"Happy to oblige." He says and she opens her eyes to see him smirking and falling down next to her. "Couldn't resist."

"Thank you— I really— well, thanks." She doesn't know what to say, she just laughs and passes the joint back to him.

"I think we're even now." He inhales the weed as he talks.

"Not exactly." She rolls her eyes at herself, realising what she's done, she's being logical and correcting him. "That's three for me, one for you."

"Two for you, one for me. Malfoy has one." He rolls his head to face her and passes back the joint. She smiles at him again. "Maybe we're not even then. But we have time to sort that out." He continues with confidence.

"I wouldn't be so sure—"

"Trust me, Gia, this isn't the last time you'll be seeing me." His thumb pulls down her bottom lip as his finger hooks under her chin. She raises her brows to him, disbelief from his comment. When he slowly releases her lip she takes one last drag of the joint, prolonging it so she can stay in the moment of the high — the drug and orgasm high— a bit more.

And she passes it back.

Her eyes follow him down once more as she exhales, sitting up and pulling the straps of her dress back over her shoulder. She doesn't say anything else, doesn't have anything to say. Grabs her wand from next to her to stand up.

He props himself higher on his forearms with confusion on his face. No words are spoken.

She just smiles and walks away from him, the grass between her toes as she heads back up the hill. The wind blowing around her, the cold air cooling her down.

One last glance back and she doesn't see him following her, instead he's just watching her walk away. Smoking some more, smiling wider.

She takes herself back to her tower.

~*~

What time is it now? Seven a.m. maybe. Maybe earlier, maybe later. She took the long route back to her tower. Needed to think. Still needs to think.

She's fucking conflicted that's for sure, doesn't know what's she's supposed to think— or do. Has no fucking clue and she still can't wrap her head around it. From last night to the morning. From drinking aimlessly, to dancing with them. Being dragged up to their room and fucking them both to letting Theo go down on her outside by the lake— all within the space for a few fucking hours.

What is she fucking doing?

She's promiscuous, she knows she is. But at school? No. That's not the personality she shows here, she prays it doesn't have to be anymore. That it really was just going to be a one— two-time thing. What Theo said— the fucking butterflies she got— it's not true, she won't see him again. Will work her fucking arse off if she has to— to avoid them.

She's tired, her head is hurting and she's giggling. She's a giddy girl when high. But she doesn't want to laugh, it's so fucked up. And she's hungry, Theo really did say it's good to smoke before breakfast. She knows it won't be the last time she'll smoke in the morning. Ravenous, starving is what she is. Her body aches, her feet only just getting some feeling back, surprising herself with how far she's walked.

She needs to lay on her bed, swaddle herself in fuzzy covers and pillows and sleep. Proper sleep in her own fucking bed.

She's closer to her tower and she hears a small conversation.

"I had a lovely evening, thank you."

Gia looks up from the floor to see Claudia and the boy she left with last night by the entrance to their tower. Leaning against the wall with her silk robe wrapped around her, her dark hair up into a messy bun. Marks on her neck and Gia can't help but giggle some more.

"See you around." He replies, kissing her on the cheek and turns away from Claudia, walking in the direction Gia's coming from.

It's a weird exchange of looks between them. Gia presses her lips into a fine line, hiding the smile, suppressing the tittering and nods her head. Acknowledging his presence without being drawing too much attention to herself. He nods in return and keeps going.

"Fun night?" Gia asks Claudia, approaching her. It's a smug expression, she knows she's wearing it.

"It was alright, had better." Claudia jokes and shrugs her shoulders. "Did you have a fun night?" Claudia questions as they head back into the tower. Walking arm in arm, linking closely.

"Average." Gianna lies.

"So, where did you end up last?"

"Nowhere, just wandered." She lies again.

"If you say so." Scepticism in her tone.

She doesn't kiss and tell.

She doesn't shag and tell— either.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I 100% still think this chapter is a mess but I hope you enjoyed it anyway.


	6. Why bother promising?

~*~

**14th September 1998**

Gianna and Claudia make their way out of the Great Hall and towards Charms class. Their location in mind while mixing with the busy crowds of students going to their own classrooms. Claustrophobia hitting her like usual, suffocation like normal. She honestly believes intoxication is the only way she can handle such cramped conditions. When she went to the bars and clubs over summer, she was either drunk or high, excessively.

It helped with the senses. Claustrophobic tendencies turned to feel like she had all the space in the world, to twirl, to dance, to let go. Suffocation turned to fresh air and her breathing was peacefully done.

But now she's suffering claustrophobia and suffocation, sober. It's drowning her as she does, like she's in the Black Lake unable to swim or float, being dragged down to its depths. At least the lake is filling her lungs like she asked for. Cheering in her head, let it fill her lungs!

Go to class, sit in the corner, hide away.

It's been over a week. Luckily no run-ins, no followings, she doesn't even recall seeing either of them over the past days. There were no extra disturbances from Nott down by the lake whenever she went— although she knows she wouldn't oppose it if it was to happen again— she can't deny having enjoyed that particular company. Pansy hadn't talked to her since the morning in the common room. Gianna had seen her around but there were no more pushing questions about who she was with. Probably doesn't remember her, Gianna hopes she doesn't. It's all comforting really, maybe she was overthinking things, no need to worry.

A one time evening— and a quick morning after and that's it. Just what she wants. She can move on now, countdown the days till returning home for Christmas. Till her escapades can continue with complete strangers. Just how she likes it. But there is a voice in her head, and it speaks when she least expects it.

_"Maybe we're not even then. But we have time to sort that out."_

It's always there, putting her on edge, she tries her best to ignore it, but it's always there.

The corridor is becoming denser the further they stumble down, filled with monstrous laughter. Cramped and compact with first years running around wildly and all too enthusiastically to say they're at school. People still seem too cheerful around her, as she walks through the school— on any day, not just today. She can see a few miserable faces, but overall, happy. Cheerful, fucking cheerful and it just makes looking down at her book easier, so she doesn't have to watch them all around her. Pretend they don't exist.

Her head is buried in the book, she can't take her eyes away anyway— even if she wanted to.

As they walk she can feel Claudia directing her arm to avoid students in the corridors, pulling her to the left, pushing her to the right. Her other arm holding the book open expertly with her bag resting on her shoulder. Just wobbling from time to time if Claudia's guidance was a touch too rough or sudden.

They had their routine with this, it was a common occurrence. Claudia and Gianna, walking through the halls with Claudia directing her every move. Claudia was often quick to comply but there were moments when it'd irritate her to the point where Gianna was left to fend for herself. Unsuccessfully of course. Gianna's lost count of how many times she's bumped into fellow students with her eyes stuck on the texts— habitually followed by a quick and quiet apology before scurrying away without much else being said. Wouldn't want to attract more attention to herself after all.

Seven years, they've done this for seven years. From the first day when they found they were bunking together. Always together, they only ever had each other. They'd share all their secrets, all their guilty pleasures, all unimportant details about anything they did. There was nothing out of bounds to them, and even though Claudia judged sometimes, they still discussed and emptied everything onto each other.

Thankful to say the least, she wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Claudia, she knows for certain.

Claudia makes this insufferable time-- tolerable.

Gianna feels a wobble and a push but her eyes remain down. The book, it's just too perfect, the words on the page. She's read this book a million and one times but she'll never get bored. How the author was so daring and pushed the boundaries of what he could say, she was drawn to it. It's beautifully profound, how else can she describe it.

"Gia, can you put that fucking book down for one minute, the halls are getting too crowded— I— I can't control you all the way to Charms." Claudia moans next to her but continues anyway. Swerving some more classmates with a pull to the left and a push back to the right, Claudia keeps her tight grip on her arm. Sometimes it would even resort to hands-on Giannas shoulders and pushing her the entire way.

"Let me—," she does a quick turn of the page. "—let me finish this page— this chapter. Please?" Gia speaks but doesn't look up.

Another push to the right and she feels the brush of a shoulder against her arm followed by a shout of anger and annoyance but she keeps her eyes down. Gia doesn't even register.

"You know what, no— help yourself today. I'm going to class." Claudia releases Gianna's arm suddenly and storms away at a quicker pace. Gia doesn't notice her presence disappear, she just continues to walk but slower. One step at a time, keeping some form of balance and her eyes fixed the pages. The poetry of the author's words being spoken from her own tongue, whispering them out and falling in love all over again.

In a different world, she's transported into the book and feels like she's really there. She can hear the sound of the trees swaying in the wind just as described, the feel of the grass between her toes like the main character. If she closes her eyes she can picture it all perfectly, like a mastered painting, one that is faultless, every detail in place. The smells, the touch, the sounds. All there, all carrying her away to a better place.

She's lost, she's gone.

She bumps into someone and drops her book onto the floor. The sound of the leather cover hitting the stone, echoing too loudly for her. Cringes at it with a scrunched nose and squeezes her eyes shut, she hates that sound. More than the boisterous chattering around her.

Now she's forced back to reality, back in school where she doesn't want to be.

"Oh for _fucks_ sake!" She whines out from the interruption and reaches to pick her book back up. Crouching down on the floor, her forearms resting on her knees, struggling to keep a balance on the balls of the feet. She doesn't look to see who it is, assumes it's just a student who wasn't looking either, but as she bends down she sees smart, glossy black shoes.

And they're pointing in her direction.

Whoever she bumped into is looking right at her.

Probably stood there on purpose she thinks. Who would do that? A fucking knob that's who, it's just rude. Plain fucking rude. Especially when they just destroyed the scenery in her head and took her out of a happier place. The imaginary nirvana, similar to her physically real one.

But there's a knot, it's tightening in her stomach. She's uneasy and she's starting to realise why.

"This is a view I recognise— very familiar." The voice speaks lowly and with the hint of a laugh. It's a teasing tone. She doesn't want to look up. Doesn't want to look up because she knows exactly who it is. Realises her position— too fucking familiar, he's right.

Just when she thought she was lucky and had an escape.

Tells herself to just grab the book and walk away, walk as quick as she fucking can. Don't look at them, get to class. Hide away. This is what she wanted to avoid, she knows who this is. That voice ringed in her ears for the following days after that party, consistently. Shamefully she wanted to hear it, made herself listen to what he said to her as she did what she did. The encouragement, the praise. Resounding; the things he said as her lips wrapped around him. The storms looking down at her, the way his large hands pulled her hair.

_"Our good girl— keep going, you're almost there."_

_"Are you going to let me feel you around my cock now too?"_

It was nice and comforting with the situation that could have easily been sickening— to anyone else. And fuck did it help with that climb, just got her there quicker. Whenever she thought back at it; hot, sweaty and wet. Pulsing, beating. She did sometimes wish for the opposite though. Not praise but for that husky, deep voice to yell at her. Call her all names under the sun, swear at her, slap her with harsh words and let the smile form on her face.

How she loves it when that happens— hearing that.

Maybe even slap her physically too— that voice as his hands wrap around— she stops herself from thinking too much.

Hot, sweaty, wet.

She's still bent over, still hasn't picked up her book and she wonders how long she was lost in thought. Thinking about the unholy things she wanted him to do to her— again— and again. Hot, sweaty, wet. But no, never again. That's not how she does things— so she tells herself.

The book, grab the fucking book and go.

Her fingers wrap around the leather binding to pick it up off the floor, curling underneath and she keeps her eyes down. Dusting it off and checking for damages her eyes are stuck on it. She'd be fucking fuming if there was something wrong with it, it'd be all his fault. At least he'd have the money to buy a new one, and she would most definitely make him buy her a new one.

After more thought disguised by the care for the book, she concludes to walk in the opposite direction. Away from him, not to look at him. The best option.

Standing up straight she keeps her eyes down further and nonchalantly swivels on her heels, smoothly. Doesn't say a word and struts away without turning back. Down the corridor in the direction, she just came from, not the way she should be going. She knows she most likely looks ridiculous in doing so but that's better than having to talk to him.

Hoping, praying, begging he doesn't follow and lets her leave. He doesn't want to see her again, he isn't looking for her. She keeps repeating that to herself while holding the book close to her chest as she scurries away. Consistently pushing her bag back up over her shoulder— the quickened pace making it slip down as she bounces. She watches students trickle into the different classrooms as the halls become quieter and quieter.

"Not wanting to look at me then?" Malfoy asks and she can hear it dripping in amusement. It's following her, he's fucking following her. He promised. He fucking promised and now he's fucking following her.

What is wrong with these boys, why bother promising?

Gianna thinks about how she's going to get to class, to go another route but there isn't another route. There was only one way— and that was the way she was heading before being stopped by him— him. She pauses, frozen in thought as she thinks up a plan and before she knows it the boy is directly behind her.

Why did she have to fucking stop walking?

"Don't ignore me." Speaking into her ear with growing frustration.

"You— you promised." It's all she can get out— the same thing she said to Nott by the lake. These boys, they promised and yet they've broken them already. After never interacting with them before in her whole years at Hogwarts, she's now seen them both again— again! It's infuriating her, she's hating herself. Full of regret.

They're making her regret it!

Fucking regret something she enjoyed so much, she wishes she never had that weakness for them. Wishes she just left the moment Claudia said she could. Wishes she spent the rest of the evening by the lake with a whole bottle of Firewhiskey— and didn't share it with them. She could've conjured up a blanket, laid by the pebbled beach and watched the moon and stars shine while she drank until she fell asleep.

Or pass out, either would've been perfectly fine to her.

But no— she gave in to them and now she's in this predicament, causing discomfort.

Hates herself.

She proceeds to take another step forward, then another and soon she's walking again— away from him. But he follows— again— and he keeps following her with every stride. Thankfully the halls she's found herself in are now deserted, people can't see him doing this. She can't be seen doing this.

Just the tapping of her shoes on the floor, her heavy breathing. The sound of her racing heart in her ear, pounding like a drum.

Why can't he just fuck off? She's shouting to herself in her head. Screaming. Yelling. _Fuck off!_ She doesn't want to have to deal with all this, it's the last thing on her mind right now.

"I promised not to _look_ for you Bell. I didn't promise to never bump into you— accidentally." It's like she can hear his smirk, she can feel the way his lips are curling upwards, evilly. The sound of his footsteps echoing behind her. She has no idea where she's walking to, just hopes eventually she'll find a way to circle back around and head to the classroom she's meant to be in.

"And you expect me to believe it was an accident?" She replies through gritted teeth, the anger growing. Her eyes remain forward with a mission.

"Do you not believe me?" Playfully, he leans down next to her ear, his chin hovering over her shoulder and she can smell that all too familiar mint, it's just missing the beauty of the Firewhiskey. The smell of his cologne again, the warmth of him behind her. There's no escaping him, no matter how fast she walks, how quickly she turns a corner he's still right there.

His minty breath against her ear.

"No— I _don't_ believe you." Sucking in her cheeks in frustration, she comes to a stop.

A fucking dead end.

_Fuck._

She's screaming louder. Screaming with all her might. Silence out her parted lips.

"I don't like it when people don't believe me." She feels him press his chest against her back. Intimidatingly so. Her heart racing and that drum getting louder— deafening.

She wants it to stop, she won't be able to resist if he carries on. She knows it too well, the dominating power. That screaming— it's yelling. She's calling herself a fucking idiot, to walk the fuck away. Don't let him do this to you, don't be weak. Move around him, slip out of his dominating grip, head to the class where she belongs.

It's a constant battle.

"Why are you doing this?" Keeping her outward composure. Steady breathing in an attempt to calm her emotions. "I said it was a one-time thing." She can't keep doing this.

"I don't think that's quite fair." He clicks his tongue. "You definitely lived up to your word— let just say— I'm craving more."

She did warn them.

Nott said the same thing.

She closes her eyes and takes in a long inhale, holds it, then exhales. It's stress, no other way to describe it. But no matter what she does— there's nothing that'll stop the way her heart is beating, palpitating rapidly.

"Not going to happen." She responds and turns. Doesn't know why. But now she's looking up at him, biting the inside of her cheek. Watching the tempestuous darkness in his eyes again, the wide smirk on his face and the wicked look of a need she knows is there.

The fucking beat. Why's the fucking beat there again?

"Are you sure about that?" He asks, towering over her, his head tilted downwards. His hot breath fanning across her face, adding to the flush in her cheeks.

"Yes— I'm certain." She's trying to hide her messy breathing the best she can but with the way her chest is heaving, it's impossible. It's not just anger, it's that feeling again. Hot, sweaty, wet.

Then it stops. She stops breathing the moment he raises his hand and tucks a piece of her wavy brown hair behind her ear to trail his fingers down her jawline. Hooking a finger under her chin he lifts her face more, her head falling back and exposing more of her neck. Her hair cascading down her back.

Hotter, sweatier, wetter.

"As I said— unfair." Their toes are touching, their chests together— separated only by her book. His lips hovering over hers, she can taste his air as it falls into her mouth.

"Stop." She says it but part of her doesn't mean it. She's becoming weak again, buckling under him. Wanting him to do everything she'd thought about. "You don't even know me."

"Do I have to know you to know what I want?" He replies and she swears she hasn't even seen him blink. "You didn't know me the other night— yet there you were—," he leans more to her ear, whispering as he does. "—bent over for us."

She bites on her bottom lip, closes her eyes. How it's aching— that pulse, he's doing everything she wants him to. What she's thought about.

But she takes a step back, away from him.

Gianna watches as he starts to frown, his brows meeting in the middle and distinct similar anger growing on his own face, he's wondering why she's done that. And something takes over her. If he's going to play like this then bring her in, she can be just the same.

"For you huh?" She holds the book closer to her chest, arms crossing over it. Smiling. "You think that was for you?" She can see him smirking in response, an almost tilt of his head indicating she has a point. Knows what she means by it. "Correct me if I'm wrong—," she starts and he edges closer to her again. "— but I came— _twice._ And you think I did it for you?"

She can be a game player too.

He chuckles, agreeing with her. "Alright— but that doesn't stop what I said from being correct." He takes another step and he's right in front of her again.

"And what's that?"

"That you didn't know me, I didn't know you. So what's stopping you now? Think we can have a bit of fun without having to know each other."

"Because, it was a one-time thing, I told you that, that night." She rolls her eyes but without realising he's backing her up.

"That's not a good enough answer." He shakes his head, holding her gaze. Then she feels the wall behind her, her back pressed against it. Cold stone against the backs of her thighs, the only flesh exposed thanks to her knee-high socks and school skirt. Her thick hair stops it from touching her neck. "I don't believe _you_ this time."

"You don't believe me?" She doesn't believe herself either.

"No, I don't." Toe to toe again, she's got nowhere else to go. "You left quite an impression— and I can't stop thinking about what you did."

"That's quite a cheesy line." She replies, holding her own. Sees his nostrils flare, his eyes growing darker and the tension in his jaw. So sharp that if she was to run her finger across she knows it would slice— like a knife to her skin. "You expect that to work?"

He bites the inside of his cheek, "You're quite fucking infuriating aren't you?" Malfoy asks with a deep breath.

"Because I'm not giving you what you want straight away?" She's teasing, she can be cruel. She's hoping she can push him far enough, to get what she wants— this is going to happen, either way, she knows it is so why not by her own accord. Them hands being something she wants to wear and with each comment she makes, she knows it's only a matter of time. "And I can say the exact same to you." She spits out, it's slipping out of her. "You promised not to come looking, yet here you _fucking_ are." It's an outburst waiting to happen, from both of them. She can feel it in the way her stomach is tensing, the way she's stiffened. The pulse, the beat. Wetter and wetter.

And her plan works.

In an instant she feels his hand around her neck, tightening around her throat. Air unable to reach her lungs; she struggles to swallow but there's a smile on her, a beaming smile as she watches him fall into anger. The infamous anger she knows he has.

"Don't be such a _fucking cunt._ " She goes weak at the knees, that's what she wanted, the slur but with no malice in his tone. "We both know you're wanting this. You don't think I can tell?" He lowers his head back to her ear, pressing his lips to it. "I can see by the way you're breathing." His tongue tickles her ear, moving down slowly and she closes her eyes, enjoying this— as much as she doesn't want to— she is. "Saw the way you bit your lip." His lips move down to her pulse point, he remembers. "How you're smiling, the way you're practically inviting me in."

She attempts to swallow but he only wraps his fingers tighter, his rings indenting into her skin. Painful but addictive.

"I bet you're wet right now too— soaking through whatever you're wearing under that short skirt." She feels him start to suck on her neck, his teeth biting into her with violence. "Are you?" He mumbles.

She smiles and nods. She is and it's becoming unbearable. Fuck it.

"Are you going to let us get what we want? Stop fucking lying to yourself and stop being a bitch?" He says as he pulls himself away from her neck with his hand remaining in place. Their eyes meet one last time before she throws her book to the floor, drops her bag and takes her fingers to twine with his tie, pulling him down to her.

With one breath she crashes her lips onto his, snaking her other fingers to the nape of his neck and into his soft, blond hair. He growls back and slams her further against the wall, forcing his tongue into her mouth through her parted lips.

His other arm slithers around her waist and to her back, arching it for him and pulling her chest closer to his. The tight grasp on her neck forces her face upwards to his as their tongues wrestle for dominance in each other's mouths. Moans and heavy sighs leaving her as she does.

So close together she can feel his hard cock through his pants, digging into her hip as their bodies move in sync. Their lips mashing together hungrily and never parting. She releases his tie and slides her fingers down the buttons of his school shirt to the top of his pants. The leather belt under her fingertips and she starts to unbuckle it for him.

She does want this, she's going to do this. She's weak for them, she's coming to realise.

But he pulls away from her, leaving her begging for more, her lips pursed and she whines from the lack of his own. When she opens her eyes she watches his search around the corridor, his eyes scanning each part of it before grabbing her wrist aggressively and dragging her along the hall to an empty classroom. She lets him take her, disregarding her belongings on the floor and trips with each step and the quickened pace of his large strides.

He stops outside the door and pushes her back up against it with strength and she lets out a yelp before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him back into her. His head drops to the crook of her neck and he sucks hard, bites harder, using her to slam the door open for them to fall into the classroom. Bursts of lust engulfing them.

The dark, empty classroom becomes filled with groans and moans from both of them as she pulls out her wand to lock the door and place _Muffliato_ around them. Aiming it to herself she casts the _Contraceptive Charm_ too, knowing full well this is where it's heading. She's not even annoyed anymore, she's impatient and feeling empty. She holds the wand to herself for a suitable amount of time for the magic to sink into her. Satisfied, she drops it to the floor and takes her robe off too. His hands start to unbutton her shirt and loosen her tie to pull it out.

He backs her up more and she hits the back of her legs against the wooden desk. She falls back and lifts herself up onto it, spreading her legs and letting her skirt rise on her thighs.

Still sucking on her skin, his hands reach up to her legs, sliding on her thighs to hook into the cotton knickers she's wearing and pull them completely off to let them fall to the floor. He pushes her legs apart further and stands between them. Malfoy's hand wraps around her neck again and tilts it further to the side with a similar tight grip. Only this time it's harder and she's almost choking but makes no attempt to stop, her lips curling higher as she smiles.

"Unbuckle my pants." He murmurs with the command against her and she nods in agreement. She reaches down and does as she's told, willingly pulling out his belt and throwing it across the room. Undoing the buttons and unzip, she pushes his pants and black boxers down for his cock to fall out of them.

Another exciting moan leaves her lips as she feels him hard on the inside of her thigh.

Her shirt is fully undone and her bra is on show, holding up her breasts. When he pulls away from her neck he groans looking down at them, biting his lip before meeting her eyes again. His hand grabs a hold of his erection and begins to stroke it gently as she raises her knees for them to spread further apart and around him.

She yanks the nape of his neck down once more to collide their lips, tasting him on her tongue again as they swirl together, messily.

Gianna adjusts her hips to the edge of the desk, moving closer to him and his hand directs the tip of his cock to her clit, circling it teasingly. The feel of him against her makes her moan, her head falling back and her eyes closing.

A small plea leaves her. " _Please—._ "

"You really are wet." He moans into her mouth. "Fuck."

" _Please!_ " She whines again, needing him desperately. The emptiness hurting her; she bucks her hips towards him. Begging for it, she doesn't care about the shame of that.

Finally, he pushes into her tight pussy and she lets out a whimper from the pressure of him inside her, and the slide goes deeper. "Oh fuck— just as I remember." Malfoy groans as his entire cock sinks into her. "So fucking good."

Gianna uses her ankles that are crossed and locked behind him to pull him closer, making him press his chest against her own.

Malfoy starts to buck his hips, pulling out to thrust back in for a pace to develop. It quickens and soon he's pounding mercilessly as she screams in pleasure. Her head rolling back, her eyes rolling back, fluttering her walls around his large dick.

"And you— you didn't want to— _fuck—_ do this again?" Malfoy grunts as he holds her neck, pressing his thumb into her jugular. She can't stop smiling, raspy moans and breathless whispers. "Do you like it when I choke you like this? So hard you can't breathe?" He asks, most likely noticing her blissful expression.

She's addicted to this feeling, she knows she is and he's feeding her. "Yes— oh, yes." She rasps out, barely audible from the strain on her voice.

"Fuck—." He rocks quicker and pushes her down with the hand around her neck to lay on the desk instead. His other arm lifts her leg up higher and she arches her back off the desk. Her skirt has completely rolled up and she's exposed fully, his eyes fall to watch as he glides in and out of her.

But his pace slows for a moment and she shoots her eyes back at him to see him smiling, looking down at her hip as his thumb drags across the skin on her hip-bone. She's oblivious— why is he doing that?

She's on the edge of the cliff, feeling herself tightening around his cock, the bubbling feeling in her abdomen ready to burst. So deep she can feel him pressing up against her, hitting her perfectly and the thumb that was on her hip moves to circle her clit at the same time. Doubling the pleasure coursing through her body. The ecstasy she's addicted to.

But he decides to fucking slow down— agonisingly so. She thinks she has to say something, get him going again but there was no need as she feels his hands gripping her tightly again for him to snap back into her. Releasing a loud moan her eyes immediately fall shut once more, rolling to the back of her head.

With his hand still around her neck, she feels the pressure of him pushing down and the lack of oxygen is causing her head to feel fuzzy almost and there's no way for her to swallow. Unable to get words out she taps on his hand with two fingers gently as a way to tell him to loosen his grip, and he does, noticing just how strong he was being on her. Instead, his hand slides down her chest and takes a handful of her breast over her bra, squeezing it tightly.

His hips moving quickly, she tries to reciprocate his actions, lifting her own higher to fuck him back.

The desk screeches along the stone floor, as they're moving so aggressively that it's moving and shaking with them.

"Oh fuck— keep going— _please!_ " She moans out, finally able to talk. "That's so— so good!"

" _Shit—_ you feel so fucking good—." Malfoy moans, loudly and it's like music to her ears.

She doesn't even hate herself anymore, she's enjoying this way too much. Just like how she enjoyed her time with Nott by the lake, how she enjoyed that night all of them together. Who wouldn't? If she's going to keep being weak for them, she wonders how it will work with them both? She knows they're both wanting her and she doesn't want to have to pick; she's greedy. Just so long as other people don't find out, she's deciding that maybe she can fuck someone more than once.

And maybe more than one of them at a time too. She's greedy.

"I'm close— fuck." She hears Malfoy groan as he moves both hands to curl under her thighs to push them up higher. Relentlessly snapping his hips into her, hitting up inside as her own hips buck against him.

Her stomach tenses around him, contracting immensely and she begins to shake as she can feel the orgasm about to burst. Her eyes squeeze shut and she can see a bright, blinding white light behind her eyelids. "I'm coming! I'm coming— I'm so close!" She whimpers. Then the peak hits her and she's overcome with emotions as her climax rushes through her whole body. Shaking and her hands grip to the edges of the desk so tightly that her knuckles turn white with strength. Her back arching dramatically high and her thighs clench around his sides.

"Good girl— such a good _fucking_ girl." He growls still pushing in.

"No—no." She groans in frustration. She doesn't want to hear that, she wants the opposite. But he doesn't hear her. He's on the edge of it too and she can feel him twitching inside of her, pulsing and ready to release. His head knocking back with laboured breathing, his hips moving into her, his fingers digging deeply into her thighs. She knows there's going to be marks left, his grasp is too strong.

Then she feels him come into her, a long release with his loud masculine groan from the back of his throat that echoes around the classroom. "Fuck! Oh— fucking hell."

He keeps his cock inside her but releases her legs and she drops them down for them to dangle over the edge of the desk. Exhausted, he plants his hands to either side of her torso, leaning over her and looking down at where they're joint together. They're both panting heavily, trying to find a steady rhythm of their breathing again.

Again, she feels him drag his finger along her hip-bone so her eyes move down to watch him. His eyes are stuck to it but she still doesn't understand why.

He slowly leaves her and she keeps watching through tired eyes as he pulls his pants back up. She moves her skirt back down over her thighs to cover her again and props herself up on her elbows. Her chest is heaving and she can feel her legs trembling slightly from the orgasm still rippling through her with small aftershocks. Gianna leans her head back, to look up at the roof, smiling and sighing happily at the release of tension within her.

She was getting angry and this has helped her considerably. She no longer feels as annoyed with everyone, she doesn't feel stressed or irritated. In fact, she's calm, peaceful and it's exactly what this did to her over summer. It's how she coped.

When she eventually moves her head back down she can see Malfoy looking at her chest, with her shirt still open and slipping off her shoulders. She giggles as he smirks with raised brows.

"Are you going to button up?" He jests still staring down her breasts.

"Doesn't seem like you want me to." She jokes back and sits up straight to sort out her shirt. "So that was—"

"Fun." He interrupts, fixing his tie and hair.

"Yeah." She can't help but bite her lip, watching him. Admiring his features and looking at his hands. She had them around her neck, just like she wanted. She wants them around her again, she knows she does.

"So just a one-time thing you said?" He's mocking her.

"A two-time thing then." She rolls her eyes and hops off the desk to pick up her knickers that were on the floor. She slides them back up and continues to get dressed, making herself look presentable again. Looking around the dark classroom for the rest of her stuff, robe and wand remembering that she left her bag and book out in the middle of the halls.

"You keep telling yourself that." She feels him come up behind her and leans down to her ear. "We may not know each other now— but give it time."

Gianna's about to reply and protest, her lips are opening but before she has time to, she feels his presence leave. She doesn't turn around but just listens as his footsteps make their way from her and to the door.

He unlocks it and leaves her alone standing in the middle of the deserted and gloomy classroom that's now stained permanently with the memory of them in there. What he said is still bouncing off the walls and echoing into her, it's similar to what Nott said. And she slowly feels the stress leave her, either from the orgasm still coursing through her or the undeniable fact that she does want to get to know them more. Finally admitting it to herself, because they do make her feel amazing, so blissfully happy and it takes away the real-world problems for the moment of the high.

So she will, she decides to let it happen-- naturally.

She thinks about it while biting the skin on her lips.

She doesn't want to have to wait till the Christmas holidays for another decent shag when there are two boys here, both willing to give her what she wants, so why not take it? Take the opportunity, it's her last year after all. She knows she needs to stop caring about all the minor things in life like this situation and start being more carefree. It'll definitely help with how she's feeling, it already is. And she wonders if maybe it'll help them too, they must have their own issues to deal with and need an outlet to release. The war affected them both. Publicly she knows all about Malfoy, all he went through but she wants to know more, the curiosity in her with determination will pry further. With Nott, she knows nothing about him. What side was he on? Did he fight? All questions she hopes will eventually find the answers to.

Gianna stops thinking and finally leaves the classroom after putting it back to how she assumes it must've been. Slipping back down the corridor to where she left her bag and book, checking once again for damages to find none, she lets out a sigh of relief. Throws her bag back over her shoulder and decides that it's too late to go to Charms, she's surely missed more than half the lesson at this point. Instead, she takes her shaking legs to the library where she can come up with a reasonable excuse as to why she wasn't in class when Flitwick asks, and she knows he will.

Her fingers gently trace over her lips as she walks, smiling with deep thoughts of the blond. They then follow down to her neck that's becoming sore from the pressure she had on it and she can feel some pain that'll no doubt turn into bruises, but there are charms for that.

She approaches the library and takes a seat at one of the empty tables to pull out her textbook from her bag. She begins to read but before she knows it, they're in her head again.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if I've made any mistakes! And let me know what you're thinking.


	7. Are they fantasies?

~*~

**21st September 1998**

Maybe it's the thoughts that are running around in her head but Gianna can't sleep.

She's clouded by memories of the two gorgeous boys that have abruptly made their ways into her life by her own lack of self-control. The addiction controlling her. It has merely been a couple of weeks, two if that. Only three single encounters with them but there they are— in her dreams. And it's every fucking night. Consistently, whether it be early in the night just as she's dozing off or right before she wakes up in the morning; she's dreaming of them.

One night she'll be down at the lake again and the roles are reversed; her lips are around the brunette as she peers up into his emerald eyes. His hands holding onto her hair as it wraps around them and he's thrusting his hips up into her mouth. She's repaying the favour, watching him crumble through the orgasm she's giving him. How she fucking loves to do that, she loves giving as much as receiving. There's power in it. _"Fuck— Gia—just like that darling. That's perfect."_

Another night she'll be in the classroom again. The blond is underneath her as she straddles and bounces off him. His hips pushing up into her and her hands placed on his chest; his own around her neck. She can feel the tickle of her hair on her tailbone while her head is rolling back, eyes up. The same strain as before around her throat, causing her to let out raspy moans, getting louder and louder as she listens to the things he'd speak up to her. _"Keep going— fuck— ride my cock, that's it."_

Or it'd be something completely different— her imagination running wild and new scenarios, fantasies being created with every detail perfectly in place.

Just how she likes it.

Dreams of the brunette fucking her up the shelves in the middle of the restricted section, at midnight. Hands under her thighs, holding her up and pushing and pulling her off him, aggressively. Lips, suckling on her neck; all while calling her a good, good girl.

The blond, bending her over a sink in the prefect's bathroom, slapping her arse and calling her a dirty slut. Her hips lifting up and bouncing off him as she screams out in pleasure, a fist in her hair and pulling it back.

_"Moan for me— let me hear you say my name."_

_"You're going to come for me— right on my cock."_

_"Fuck— you look so good tied up like that."_

On her knees, on her back, on all fours; any position.

It's non-stop, every fucking night.

And both she enjoys too much, way too much. All scenes she wishes were real.

Each time she'd wake up with the pulsing beat between her thighs, wanting to fill the aching void. And she'd be sweating, sweating uncontrollably, drenched. Hurting from the lack of a real touch, squirming in her cotton, smooth sheets from frustration. Already sleeping in the bare minimum, she'd resort to stripping off completely and throwing the duvet off her; anything to cool her down. She has often even considered taking ice-cold showers at three in the morning to cope with the struggle. Never did though, not with Claudia sleeping in the next bed with the possibility of waking her up. She's not selfish like that.

 _Cooling Charm_ , her best friend in times like this. But only when it works, and if it lasts long enough. Otherwise, useless, and she's sweating again.

How she hates being hot, it's insufferable. The heat prickling on her skin, the itching, the stickiness; she will always, always, prefer the cold.

One night she did sneak out and wander down to the lake, and the cold autumn, night air did run over her skin the way she wanted, helping to rid the agonising suffering of the burning. But when she reached the bottom of the hill, her mind immediately went to the tall brunette. And the heat rushed back. During the day whenever she went down though, nothing. There was not a single thought about the boys and so she'd spend hours on end, happily reading her book in peace and quiet. Alone with the words on the pages. She'd enjoy the fresh air filling her lungs and clearing her mind ready to paint the art the author was describing, ready to be taken away. But at night, it was sinful, godless thoughts of the serpents tempting her that took over. How she'd think about him again; being with her down by the lake, sharing a joint and fucking endlessly till the early hours of the morning on the grass in a sweaty mess.

On her knees, on her back, on all fours.

She doesn't even know them— _yet_.

It's excessively frustrating to her and she can't believe that this is how she's found herself— with everything else around her being so fucked up already, this is just adding to the ever-growing pile of crap to deal with. She has admitted to letting things come naturally and not to fight it anymore but the immoderate thoughts are proving to be difficult to rid of. Too much to control.

All she can do is think about these fucking boys.

Their faces constantly behind her closed eyes. The things they did to her, interrupting any daydreams she has too. Them, it's always them and their hands, their lips, their fucking eyes— the eyes that are so hypnotising and never fail to capture her own. So different but so beautifully unique in their own ways.

But why are they on her mind so much? Surely it's too much, surely it's uncommon for this to happen, to be so wrapped up in thoughts of two boys she's never even spoken to before this year. Being with them both that one fateful night after a party that she didn't even want to go to, to them filling her with a chaos of emotions on the battlefield happening inside her brain.

It's the carnal tightness in her abdomen, the queasy nervousness inside her stomach. The strain on her throat when her breath would hitch and refuse to move; the lack of oxygen causing her to feel delirious almost.

Crazy, she's going fucking crazy.

And it's only been three fucking encounters.

Three times with them— physically. However, with the vivid imagination she has, it's been hundreds inside her head. Hundreds and it's only been a couple of weeks. There, they're always fucking. Hundreds.

Natural, she wanted natural but nothing about this feels natural. It's erratic, she's going fucking haywire. And it's just making her want them more.

Gianna stares up at the ceiling of her dorm room through the pitch black. Unable to see the mural, she pictures what she can remember. Every detail in place. From the white constellations amongst the navy blue heavens. To the detailing on the crownings. Something she's looked at for seven years so naturally, she knows it inch by inch. She could tell you how many stars are on there, what the different arrangements are, show you where the stars on her roof are in the real dark abyss outside. It's imprinted in her now.

The pale, blue moonlight is shining through the windows and the translucent drapes covering them. Silence is broken by the occasional purr from Claudia and mumbles in her sleep, muttering incoherently. Another, heavier purr from the decrepit cat on its cushion in the corner of the room, a light screech from nails scraping along the floor and it just irritates her. She does often wish she would have left that cat at home, let it be her parents' problem instead, but she had no say in the matter.

A light howl comes from outside; the autumn wind blowing against the tower, filling the quietness. All of this would help her sleep on normal evenings; white noise that's soothing to her chaotic brain. Even the fucking cat, somewhat calming. But not tonight.

Instead, she's laying on her back, wide awake and trying to distract herself from the pulse and beat that's flowing from her core to the tips of her fingers. Distract herself from the urge to help, to slip her fingers down her stomach and relieve the tension. She knows it'd be nothing in comparison to them, to what they can do and have done. She also knows she can't, not with Claudia sleeping in the next bed. It's one of their rules— not to do that when the other is in the room, to do it alone and privately. They have a close friendship but they both know that if either of them got caught, it'd be uncomfortable and there'd be an inevitable awkwardness involved.

So Gianna refrains.

And she picks at the skin of her cuticles.

Continuing with the nasty habit she's developed over the past year— a habit to cope with her anxiety and stress. Distractions, they're all just endless distractions to her.

It takes a peel of her skin down too low —causing it to bleed— to make her realise that she's once again, gone too far with her excessive picking. Curses herself under her breath at it, calls herself a fucking idiot for letting it happen again. Consistent, the routine of then having to apply pressure to it and pray it stops. The sharp sting of the raw flesh she's now exposed to the open air causes her to wince. The bleeding that fails to halt and makes her bring her finger up to her lips and sucks away the dome of blood before adding additional pressure to it. She repeats until it does eventually stop, like she does every time and ultimately, the metallic tang of her crimson blood playing on the tip of her tongue is all that's left.

And for a while, it does distract her, enough for her to think about how she really should quit that habit. Find a spell, that whenever she'd think about picking at the loose skin, something would stop her. There must be a charm, or hypnosis, something, anything would help.

So you could say it works. She's diverted, for a few minutes.

But as she closes her eyes, in an attempt to drift away, she can see them again. Their faces, so clear. Their smiles and how they laughed with her that night, how comfortable they all were together. She goes over it, for the millionth time. So she decides to let it run its course, watch the visuals echo around and every detail in place, just how she remembers it. Where she does struggle to picture, she puts that imagination to good use. Making it better. If it's going to happen inevitably, better be good, wouldn't you say?

Once again she finds herself writhing on her bed, grabbing her sheets into tightly formed fists. Her fingernails dig into her other arm, scratching on her tanned, olive skin, a way to relieve the built-up tension within her. The ache, the emptiness. The fucking agony. Sighs, quiet moans, fidgeting wildly. It's exhausting but after a few more wriggles and rustle of her sheets, she falls. Falls into the moment, no longer fighting against it and sleeps.

Sleeps once more with the vivid images.

Dreams.

~*~

Gianna reads her book at the long, Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall.

There's a glass of pumpkin juice untouched by the side of her elbow. A bowl of porridge in front that's drowning in golden syrup. She's slowly lifting the spoon to her lips, taking in small amounts at a time of the sloppy food. Hardly focusing as she does, only just looking away from the words to direct her spoon to the right place so as not to miss the bowl.

She's exhausted, has no energy for another day of classes, no motivation to learn. All she wants is a decent night's sleep without thinking about them for once, a quick nap, a few minutes is all, please.

She'll beg if she has to.

Suggests to herself that maybe brewing up a _Sleeping Draught_ would be a smart thing to do, she knows how to do it. Could sneak into Professor Slughorn's classroom, she knows he has Lavender and Valerian Springs, he has all the ingredients, she saw them the other day. If it didn't take up to seventy minutes to brew it'd be a feasible plan, but it does, so she can't.

With so little sleep in the past few days, she's feeling the effects, a lack of focus being the main one. So much so that she's unable to even read her book in the detail it's giving her, she's even fucking skimming the words, missing important details. Something she never does.

Claudia is by her side, eating some fruit and Gianna can hear her chattering to a few fellow students around them. She's trying her best to tune them all out, but Claudia is loud. Especially when she's gossiping.

"So I heard that Harry is only here for this first term, then after Christmas, he's going to start his Auror training."

......

"Luna and Neville seem to be an item now, they connected over summer."

......

"A girl in fifth year said she saw a boy and a girl— she doesn't know who— snogging in the corridor last week before disappearing into a classroom. She said they were— hot and heavy to say the least."

Gianna chokes on some oats in her mouth, spitting them out and falling into a coughing fit.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"Gia? Forgotten how to swallow?" Claudia laughs turning her attention to the brunette and hits her on the back to help with her bursts of splutters. She gains a giggle from the group of girls sitting around from her comment.

"Sorry— I— it was just a bit hotter than I expected that's all, sorry." Gianna quickly comes up with a lie to mask the real reason she was choking. Placing her book on the table she cleans herself up, using her napkin to wipe the corners of her mouth.

"Did you hear what I said?" Claudia asks, referring back to her gossip. "Can you believe that? I heard it was rather steamy —the kiss— and it was moving very quickly. The fifth-year said she could hear quiet moans coming from the classroom until it all went silent. My galleons are on a silencing charm so we all know what _that_ means."

"Did she describe who she saw?" Another girl sitting opposite asks.

Gianna tries to act disinterested, focusing on taking slow and steady sips of her juice, taming the urge to cough again. But her ears are listening closely, she knows it's her and that blond boy. It has to be them.

"She didn't get a good look, they were already halfway into the classroom but she said she saw some brown hair and green on the boy's robes." Claudia smiles cheekily, loving the gossip. "Obviously a Slytherin. Nasty bastard probably lured a helpless girl into it without her knowing what she was getting herself into. Although I'm not one to judge, the Slytherin boys are quite dishy, so I don't blame her." All the girls' eyes turn to look over at the Slytherin table before they all burst into fits of giggles.

Again, Gianna acts unbothered by the information but really her heart pounding, and her breathing is becoming erratic once more. Swallowing hard.

Brown hair, it's definitely her.

Green on his robes, it's definitely him.

She pulls her book back up to cover her blushing face, but over the tops of the pages, her eyes also find themselves peering over to the two boys she knows well.

They're directly in her eye line. She can see them laughing together, eating their breakfast and she can't help but admire them. The smiles she dreams about, the lips, wanting them on her chest, neck and thighs. Nibbling on her lip as she watches, she's nearly completely forgotten about Claudia next to her until she starts to speak again.

"Did you also hear about Adrian?" Claudia whispers.

"No, what's going on with him?"

"You know how he dropped out of school to go for his Quidditch career in his last year? Well after the war, his parents said he needs to actually finish school so that's why he's back. To do his N.E.W.Ts, then he's allowed to carry on playing." Claudia literally knows everything, Gianna never fails to find it shocking.

"What's the deal with him and Pansy?" A blonde girl asks, sitting on the left of Claudia.

Gianna keeps listening, pretending to read her book and her eyes remaining on the group in question. She can see Pansy sitting next to Adrian with her head resting on his shoulder, they always had a close relationship so it was inevitable for rumours to spread around them.

"That's the other thing. Apparently, they're more like brother and sister —that's why he was always so protective over her— and that Adrian is _fully_ available now." Claudia continues. "Pansy has her eyes set on someone else after she and Malfoy broke up. They're just friends now." Giannas eyes subtly widened hearing that.

She didn't know Pansy was with Malfoy.

Now she most definitely can't reveal the name of who she was with if Pansy was ever to ask again.

"Do you still like him?" A red-headed, sixth-year girl asks as she takes a bite of toast. "Adrian I mean."

"Of course I do, he's a God. But with everything that happened I feel like maybe that's an area no one should go— I don't know. With the Slytherins being former supporters of _you-know-who_." Claudia clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth before taking a sip of her own juice, relishing in the attention she's getting from the younger girls around her, who are all listening intently.

"I thought only Malfoy got the mark?" Gianna speaks up, immediately regretting so when Claudia turns her eyes to Gia in confusion. "I mean— that's what The Daily Prophet said— that's just what I heard."

"He could be, but their families are all known Death Eaters. Especially the Nott family. I've heard Theo— who is looking _fine_ this year by the way— was also meant to get the mark but they chose just Malfoy instead." Claudia clears it up for Gianna, still looking at her confused. Gianna realises she's made it look like she's too interested so swiftly turns her head away. "They're all on probation is what I've been told, that they have to be on their _best_ behaviour at school. That's why Malfoy has gotten his Prefect position back. McGonagall thinks it'll be good for him to have that responsibility."

His Prefect position.

The Prefect bathroom.

Bent over the sink.

Gianna clenches her jaw to stop her from going back to the dream she had. Almost like she can feel the cold, wet porcelain from the sink under the palms of her hands as she grips onto it as she did in the fantasy. The ache in her being satisfied, filling her blissfully. His own hand holding onto her hips, the other yanking back her hair, her back arching as he—

She stops thinking. Swallows hard, again.

"Surely she should give that position—"

Gianna coughs again but less violently as she brings herself back to reality.

"—to someone who— oh I don't know— _didn't_ try to kill the previous headmaster?" The red-headed girl talks again and Gianna scowls. "There are lots of other students who deserve that position more than him. At least he wasn't put as Head Boy." Gianna doesn't know why but she doesn't like hearing them talk about the Slytherin group like that. She spent a lot of time reading about the trials, there's forgiveness in her heart, she wishes she could say the same for others.

"Bit uncalled for," Gianna speaks up again, unable to stop herself. "Give him a fucking break, how would you feel if you had to perform a task like that to protect your life and your families life." She scoffs before realising she's said too much.

"I— I didn't—"

Claudia chimes in before Gia can respond, and she's thankful she does. "Exactly you didn't know, so just shut up will you. Next time you want to pass judgement on someone, know all the facts. Yeah?" Claudia shoots her a glare. "There's no need to be bitchy."

Gianna presses her lips into a line and looks away, hiding her smile itching to show, hiding the laugh she's wanting to let out. Eyes back to the book, she carries on reading. Kind of.

The other girl sinks into her seat in a childlike manner, defeated and turns away with bright red cheeks, embarrassed.

"Merlin, I may be a gossip but I'm not a bitch." Claudia turns her attention solely to Gianna. "It's nice to hear you speaking up for something Gia— even if it is for them." Claudia rests her head on Gianna's shoulder as she talks. "Why are you sticking up for them?"

"I— I just read all about it. I know the right facts and I suppose I felt the need to educate someone. It's not fair— all the tainted light they have on them, for something they had no choice in." Gianna replies, her voice low. She's hoping she hasn't made it obvious, that there's more behind her defence. That there's intrigue building up inside and how they're constantly on her fucking mind.

"I guess you're right. So what do you think about Adrian?" Claudia asks and Gianna can see her watching him.

Claudia has always fancied him, from the first year when she first laid eyes on him across the hall. Gia can remember how much she gushed over him that night, talking about his hair and how it flopped over his forehead, how he kept it like that stylishly all throughout the school years as they grew up. Claudia would keep tabs on whenever he was single in hopes to one day work up the courage to eventually talk to him, about something other than school. School was all he ever talked to her about, but Claudia got butterflies every time. She turned into a giddy girl when Adrian was involved.

"Do you think I should finally do something, even with all that happened?"

"He seems— nice, he has a nice smile. Do you really think you'll actually talk to him this year?" Gianna questions with slight disbelief in her tone. "And I don't think what happened should affect how you feel."

"Maybe— yeah you're right, I think I will this year. I'm feeling more courageous, like a Gryffindor." A giggle erupts from Claudia. "Plus Gia, for a bit of perspective, we don't know what could happen, evidently proven last year. Better live life to the full while we can, right?" Claudia adjusts her posture and sits up a bit straighter keeping her eyes stuck to the back of Adrian like she has a mission.

And she's right, Gia can admit, she is.

They don't know what could happen tomorrow, or next week or in the next few months. So why not take advantage of opportunities when they come round.

And for Gia, there is one, right in front of her in the form of two gorgeous boys who are willing to give her what she needs.

Take advice from Claudia.

Listen to Claudia.

That's something she never thought she'd hear herself say or think.

"I'm going to head off to D.A.D.A now, are you coming Gia?" Claudia raises from her seat on the bench, pulling her bag over her shoulder. "I'll direct you today, I'm feeling generous."

"Yeah, I'm coming." Gia sighs tiredly, standing up and also throwing her bag over her shoulder. "But you don't have to help me today, I'm not in the right mindset to walk and read."

"Everything alright babe?" Claudia asks as they slowly stroll out of the Great Hall. Loud chattering around them, laughter, conversations that are all mixing together into a jumbled mess of words, overwhelming, to say the least.

"Just tired I guess, been struggling to sleep." Gia shrugs her shoulders. Vague, be vague.

"Oh yeah I've heard you fidgeting at night— you keep reminding me that we should invest in some decent sheets that don't make such a bloody racket whenever we turn." Claudia links her arm through Gias, their steps in unison. "Why are you struggling to sleep?"

"Just thinking about things." She doesn't want to give too much away so she stays vague. Vague, be vague. "Nothing important." And she supposes it is nothing important, not in comparison to everything else that she should be thinking about.

"I know, things will get better, I promise, and if it doesn't then I give you permission to slap me." Claudia giggles and gives Gia a shake in efforts to cheer her up, and it works, for the most part. A small smile shows on Gias face along with a slight chuckle, but it's matched with a roll of her eyes. "Anyway, I can't stop thinking about that boy and girl—," Claudia continues. "—you know, the ones who got caught shagging in a classroom."

Gia bites her lip, this isn't something she wants to talk about, not when it'll bring up the memories again.

 _Oh—_ too late.

His hand around her neck, the way he held her legs up and open, the way his hips sunk into her. _Oh—_ it's hurting so much, it's agony, pure pain, she wants it again, needs it.

But there's the fear of Claudia finding out it was her, it's consuming her. She doesn't know why but she wants to keep it secret from her. Feels— _dirty_. Feels there will be more judgement than usual, so it's a secret. Especially with who she was with, that's it, that's the shame. Although it was amazing, it's him who people frown at— judge. Conflicting anguish almost— oh it's fucking horrible. And she's got that queasy feeling in her stomach again and she fears she'll throw up her porridge.

_Please stop._

"I'm actually jealous. I've always wanted to have sex in a classroom, sounds exciting, wouldn't you think?" Claudia giggles.

"I'm sure it is." Gia hides her smile. It was exciting, it was thrilling and that's why she hasn't stopped thinking about it.

"So risky. You know who I wouldn't mind shagging in a classroom?"

"Adrian?"

"Absolutely. The things I would do to that man, the things I would let him do to me." Gia watches as Claudia rolls her eyes to the back of her head, receiving a laugh from her. "Babe I'd let him do anything, I'm being serious."

"I don't doubt for one second Claudia. But, are they fantasies?" Gia asks.

"Maybe more like manifesting, like I'm telling myself this is going to happen one day. Fantasies I hope will come true." Claudia winks to Gia.

Fantasies she hopes will come true. Manifesting. Maybe that's what Gia is doing without realising. Maybe all the thoughts, the dreams, all are what she's trying to make come real.

And she does want them to be real.

Maybe it's her turn to do some instigating.

"Oh, fuck." Claudia interrupts her and her thoughts. "I forgot my textbook in our room, can I meet you at class instead? I'll be quick."

"Yeah, sure, see you in a bit." Gia shrugs unbothered and watches as Claudia unlinks to rush out of the large wooden doors and disappear around the corner. Suddenly she's left on her own, so she keeps her head down, pulling her book from her bag to read again.

Reading is better than making eye contact with people, it's better than having to talk to idiots who are too fucking cheerful, so reading, reading is what she does.

But before she can fully open her book she feels a nudge on her shoulder as she steps through the doors. It takes a bite on her tongue to hold back a shout, a scowl up and she sees the brunette. Smiling at her as he walks past. Confidently, charmingly flashing that smile. His raised eyebrows and cheeky look as he eyes her up and down. It's only a quick glance but it's enough to send her blood rushing and her heart racing. And she doesn't hate it, so she faintly smiles back as butterflies swarm her stomach.

It's strange. Fucking peculiar.

Seven years of nothing and yet here they are, everywhere she goes. Noticing them at every turn in the castle, seeing them in classes they share, everywhere.

She doesn't stop herself as she eyes him up, back. But their short look comes to an end as he continues away from her, up the stairs.

She's left bewildered, unsure about what to do and she's completely forgotten about that book in her hands. Reading becomes the last thing on her mind and she lets the fantasies cover her instead.

Him, him, him.

Them, them, them.

"Hey! Mysterious girl!"

A girly voice comes from behind her so she swiftly turns on her heels. Assuming, of course, it's her they're shouting at. Thoughts are interrupted and she snaps back to reality; how she's stood still in the middle of the entrance to the Great Hall. Reluctant to see who it is but intrigued too, her body twists in the opposite direction. It's annoying, the battle in her head of what she wants to do compared to what she should do.

Her gaze is taken away from the dream boy and around; she sees Pansy strutting over to her.

Her raven hair bouncing with each step and swaying over her shoulders. Her Slytherin robes neatly resting over her, without creases. She's almost radiating light, beautifully happy and it's a bit sickening. Adrian walks next to her as she links her arm through his. She watches as Pansy playfully drags him with her towards Gia.

She doesn't want this, she's too tired for this.

It'll be questions, expectancy for answers that Gia doesn't want to and can't give. Surely Pansy wouldn't be happy to hear Gia had slept with both Malfoy and Nott in the same evening, and that when she was caught sneaking out, she was coming from their room. One of them being her ex-boyfriend after all. But she doesn't attempt to move, she sighs, knowing that Pansy most likely will push until Gia falls off a cliff if she has to.

"I have questions for you!" Pansy shouts, still pacing towards her with a big smile. "I think you know what I'm talking about." She giggles.

"I told you, I'm not telling you," Gia replies, holding her book close to her chest.

"Adrian, remember the other week when I was interrogating you all after that party, _this_ is the girl." Pansy pulls him up and he smiles. But it's out of pity because he can most likely see the annoyance in Gias face, the lack of comfort in the situation. "She still won't tell me who she was with." Pansy turns back to Gia pointing to the boy and referring to the rest of them. "And they didn't tell me anything either, so someone better start talking before I scream."

"Fucking hell Pans, she doesn't want to tell you so don't make her," Adrian interjects, rolling his eyes.

"Well was it you?" Pansy asks Adrian.

"No, you know it wasn't me."

"Then it has to be either, Blaise, Draco or Theo. I'll find out eventually, you fucking watch me, Ade." Pansy rolls her eyes in frustration. "Well?" She looks back at Gia.

"I'm not saying anything, sorry."

"See Pans, let it go now." Adrian sighs. "I'm sorry." Adrian turns back to Gia, offering an apologetic glance.

"No, I don't want to let it go. I just want to know which of my boys are lucky enough to get this stunner." Pansy throws a wink to Gia.

"And she said she doesn't want to say, what don't you understand?" Adrian scoffs, clearly getting annoyed too.

"Oh fine." Pansy sulks, releasing her arm from Adrian to pull Gianna into her instead. "So mysterious girl, are you going to tell me your name yet? It's the least you could do seeing as though you're stressing me out so much."

She thinks she can, she might as well. Pansy certainly isn't going away any time soon. Gianna knows there will be more questions, more ways to find out. Plus, being called her name is better than being called fucking mysterious girl, isn't it? Much better. What a fucking crap nickname.

"Gianna."

"Oh I love that name, it's gorgeous. Better than fucking Pansy I'll admit to that." They walk together. Pansy in the middle, Adrian on her right, Gianna on her left. "So, Gianna, Ravenclaw I see. How do you figure out the riddles? I bet they're fucking difficult."

"No Pans, you're just fucking stupid." Adrian remarks and gains a shallow laugh from Gia. "The riddles are piss easy for Ravenclaws, that's _why_ they're Ravenclaws."

"I'm not stupid, I just don't think like that," Pansy argues back. Gianna is just listening to them bicker, feeling somewhat more awkward with her lack of contribution to the conversation, but what is she meant to say? This is uncharted territory for her, talking to people other than Claudia and a few students she shares classes with. The occasional pipe up like earlier at meals but other than that, nothing.

"Figure this one out then." Adrian starts. "The more you take, the more you leave behind, what am I?"

"Adrian, I literally just said that I don't—"

"Footsteps," Gianna replies for her, having already figured it out.

"Very good." Adrian smiles at her. "That's the only one I know though. Look Pans, we'd both be sleeping in the corridor if we were Ravenclaws, so don't beat yourself up too much."

"Gianna, can you believe what this idiot is saying?" Pansy rolls her eyes with a smirk. "So, what classes are you taking and why haven't I seen you around before? You've been here from the start right? Did you transfer?" Pansy and her questions, another cause of death to Gianna in the future, another prediction.

Before Gia can even respond, just as she's parting her lips to let her short answers slip out, Adrian speaks up again. "Merlin's fucking beard Pansy, one question at a time."

"Sorry, I'm just trying to be friendly for once, like _whats-his-face_ said in my last session." Pansy changes her tone to sound more masculine. " _If you are to move on from this then you have to start being nicer to people Ms Parkinson, ignore the prepossessions you once had, adapt to the new reality. This is the only way your probation is to_ — blah blah blah." She finishes her mocking.

Gia finds what she said interesting, another insight into what the Slytherins are going through.

"It's alright," Gianna responds, doesn't mean it. She'd much rather have no questions and to be left alone but as she said, it's not going to happen. Accept it. "Yes I've been here from the start, I just don't tend to socialise that's all." She means that.

"Apart from your cheeky evening in the Dungeons though." Pansy gives her a little nudge.

"Yeah, apart from that." She doesn't stop a small laugh leaving her.

"So are you seriously never going to tell me who?"

"Why do you want to know so much Pansy? It's not like it'll have any effect on your life." Adrian shuffles in front of them as they keep walking through the corridors of the school that are becoming more crowded.

"Well, I can give her warnings. If it's just a one-time thing—," Pansy turns back to Gia. "—which I won't judge you for by the way—then she's safe. But, if it's something she's wanting to continue then the least I can do is let her know what the boys are like, especially Draco."

"Warnings?" It slips out.

"Well, for example, Blaise, he's a sweetheart and hilarious— but only if you know him, otherwise he's quite cold and silent, so if it's him then don't expect much from him at first." Gia keeps a straight face, working on that poker expression her mother taught her when she learnt to play the muggle game. She knows Pansy's looking for a reaction. "Theo, my personal favourite, is a charmer—," Gia already knows this. "—he can work his way in and out of anything, girls being a particular strong point. Is it Theo? Because I really wouldn't blame you."

Gianna says nothing, eyes forward and watches the students walk around them.

"Then there's Draco and well, he's— he's Draco and well, take it from experience, I also wouldn't blame you if it was him."

"Pansy just drop it, can you not see how uncomfortable you're making her?" Adrian glances over his shoulder at them. "Just ignore her Gianna."

"Seems like she already is." Pansy huffs.

"I will tell you this, it wasn't anything important, just one evening and that's that." Gianna lies, to save her sanity. It's not a one-time thing, she knows it now, it'll be a multiple-time thing. She's got that ache remember, there's only one way it'll disappear.

"I will eventually find out eventually Gianna. I'm ruthless like that." Pansy pulls away from her. "Anyway, I'm off this way, to Potions. But I'll see you around Gianna." She turns but not before giving another wink and swish of her hair.

"I'm sorry about her." Adrian looks to Gianna.

She can see Claudia's attraction, he is quite —as Claudia would say— dishy. It's the jawline. Is it a requirement to have sharp features to be in Slytherin or some shit like that? Gianna thinks it must be.

"I know she's annoying but she's working on it, I'm sure she'll tire eventually."

"It's fine, honestly." It's not, but she's going to lie anyway.

"Well it was nice to meet you, Gianna, I'm guessing it won't be the last time we'll be seeing each other if Pans haves something to do with it." He shrugs his shoulder and Gia lets out an exhale from her nose, supposedly a laugh. He turns around and follows Pansy, off in another direction.

She carries on, towards her own lesson.

What Pansy said is ringing in her ear though.

It's echoing. And she's thinking again.

_"—personal favourite—."_

_"—take it from experience—."_

This is going to get messy, she can see it coming. It's that storm waiting to happen that she saw in his eyes. The storm she can't wait to watch but knowing she's most likely going to be in the middle of it— well she just hopes it doesn't fucking kill her in the process.

Because, these fantasies, they're not going away anytime soon, she knows it. So she has to do something about it. She just doesn't want to get caught up in the middle of something ugly.

Secrets, keep it a secret. From Pansy, Adrian, Claudia, everyone. Pursue it discreetly, tactfully. Don't get caught. Especially if both are involved.

That's how this will work, it's a plan.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if I've made any mistakes! Hope you're enjoying it still!


	8. Who is it?

~*~

**2nd October 1998**

She sees them everywhere. And she's actually seeing them, whereas before she wouldn't have even noticed them, never would've glanced in their direction, her head too typically stuck in a book or caught in the attention of Claudia. But now— now she's looking. And now she sees them.

And they're all she can see.

Not only are they still in her dreams, but they're whenever she turns a corner, whenever she's walking the corridors. They're in her eye-line for _every_ meal, and she thinks maybe it's herself subconsciously looking for them, searching for them amongst the crowds of students without realising what she's doing. Because she does want to see them, she knows she does, but she's waiting. Waiting to see who's going to talk to her first, who will be the first one to come up to her. She doesn't mean to sound old fashioned, fuck that, she's definitely not the type to wait for them to make the first move. Gianna doesn't sit around for boys to pluck up the courage and speak to her, she usually advances the men first. But in this situation, it's almost a must.

Because she won't do anything till they do, and it gives her more time to plan that way. How she's going to handle them both, how it'll work with them both— without them finding out. She's got that insatiable appetite for them hasn't she, she won't and can't pick just one. So both— both is the only option and she's slowly coming to a point where she doesn't even care. Looking forward to it, it's bringing some light into her life, the excitement and anticipation of what's to come. If all goes well that is.

Her rules were broken the moment she let Nott eat her out by the lake, the moment his hips rocked on her. When his teeth grazed her neck. Further, when she let Malfoy fuck her in a classroom and choke her to the point she actually had to tell him to loosen his grip. Letting him, letting them— instead of a one-time thing. She crumbled, fell apart with what she thought were the sturdy foundation of her guidelines when it came to these things. But they might as well disappear, not to have even existed in the first place, just be a fragment of her imagination. Just like her self control, because she _clearly_ doesn't have any of that anymore no matter how much she claims to.

_Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it._

She needs sex, she knows she does.

So she's stopped fighting it, she knows she's craving them as much as they're craving her, she knows it. There's no denying it, and she knows she'd be stupid if she was going to.

She hasn't talked to them, not since last time at the lake or in the classroom but when she looks and they catch her eye, they look back. With a quick smirk and a quick wink from him with the green eyes, making the butterflies come back. With an eye up and down from the blond, followed by dangerous, dark glances. Heat, rushing through her. Fidgeting, overpowering her.

And as she sits in the far corner of the Great Hall, just as the trickle of students start to leave and head back to their common rooms after dinner, she remains seated and she's completely zoned out. Her elbows resting on the table and the palms of her hands holding up her head. An open textbook laying on top, still on page one, the contents. She's almost memorised the page by this point, having read it a thousand times, because every time she starts from the top, her eyes wander up and she's looking around the room that's becoming emptier.

She's lacking focus but the growing quietness of the hall is helping.

More and more students follow out in crowds of laughter and chatter and she's feeling more and more relaxed each time someone leaves. There's just a few still sitting at their tables, some still eating, some still talking but it's becoming easier to focus. Maybe she'll move onto page two, even better if she gets to page four, page ten or even finish the text.

A subtle yawn leaves her and she rubs on her temples with her fingers.

The nights are still being swarmed with dreams and interruptions. It's becoming somewhat familiar now though. Some nights she doesn't wake up and sleeps soundly through to the morning, but some nights she does awake several times. Claudia's noticing more. Sometimes she will wake up too when Gia has given up and decided to read instead; a simple, dim _Lumos_ from the tip of her wand in use. They'll talk, giggle, share and Claudia will eventually fall back asleep without any anger towards Gia for waking her up or a need to know why she's wide awake at two-thirty in the morning.

As she sits at this table, with no intention of leaving quite yet —because she knows Claudia will try and make her socialise if she goes back to the tower— she's interrupted by a sudden warmth next to her, a nudge on her arm and a girl climbing onto the bench. There's a rich smell of perfume that wafts around her and a flash of green on the robes and tie. Instantly recognisable.

Eye rollable, heavy sigh-worthy. She truly doesn't give up.

"So, still not going to tell me who?" Pansy asks, resting her elbow on the table next to Gianna and dropping her head into her hand. Gianna lifts her own to turn and face the raven-haired girl, the pale green in her eyes sparkling as they stare into Gianna. "I told you I'm not giving up."

"No Pansy, sorry." A small laugh leaves Gianna. "You're consistent though so I'll give you that." She jokes and gains a giggle in return but there's a hint of a scoff behind it, she knows Pansy's finding it infuriating.

"As are you, but a little _too_ consistent and secretive for my liking." Pansy rolls her eyes and makes herself more comfortable in the seat next to Gianna.

"And that's how it should be," Gia replies with a smile, growing more confident around her. It's the regular appearances she's made in Gia's day to day life that's helping.

_"Are they brunette or blond?"_

_"Were they Big? Dominating? Rough?"_

_"You know you can tell me stuff like this."_

_"I'll find out soon, just you watch. I won't give up."_

"Well, today I shall be extending our friendship. I will try my best to not bring up the burning questions, even if they are killing me from the inside out." Pansy sighs but jokingly and smiles. "You also have no say in this matter, we're going to be friends whether you like it or not, remember, I have to be nicer to be people so I'm starting with you."

"Honoured. Alright, fair enough, but exactly how are you going to be doing that?" Gianna closes her book and gives Pansy her attention.

"Girl chats and that kind of—," she crumples her nose in cringe. "—shit, you know?" Gianna can't stop another laugh from escaping her lips, in the form of a shaky exhale. She knows what she means, girl chat is barely tolerable in the best of times but with the right people, it can be somewhat fun. "Now forgive me if I'm useless at this, I tend to spend my time with boys who don't talk about anything but Quidditch and wanking over the hot girls in the school like the perverts they are."

"Sounds lovely." She can't decide if these conversations would be fun or just disturbing. Are they boys or men? She hopes they don't really talk about that kind of stuff if she is going to seek them out more.

"Oh, they're the _best_." Sarcasm lacing her tone. "Especially when I have to hear about who they think would be the best shag, who has the biggest tits and— actually, I wonder if you're on their lists, I mean I haven't seen you around school before but they might have." Pansy looks to be in deep thought, Gianna is too. She's deciding if she wants to get involved with boys who have that mentality. "Anyway, I don't know. Now, Gianna— pureblood, half or mud-blood?"

Giannas eyes widen at hearing that word, no one uses it anymore. "Pansy I don't think you're supposed to say—"

"I don't give a fuck, it's in my vocabulary and my so-called _sodding_ _therapist_ —," she rolls her eyes in annoyance with a scoff, adding a whiny pitch her to her tone to show it further. Gianna can tell she's not the happiest about having to go to these sessions. "—isn't going to stop me, I may be trying to be a friendlier girl but that's still what—"

"Ok, I get your point." Gia interrupts. And she does get her point, there is no changing Pansy Parkinson's opinions, clearly— no matter how many 'sessions' she has. "Half."

Pansy nods her head, and Giannas tries to figure out if Pansy's interested or disgusted. "Thank you, and that's— interesting. Mother or father?"

"Really?" Disbelief with a laugh and a tilt of her head. "You really think that's interesting?"

"Don't make this harder than it already is Gianna." Pansy presses her lips into a fine line, the tension in her face, showing Gianna exactly what she thought, that this isn't something normal for Pansy and it's completely out of character for her. There's discomfort in her expression, it's clear. Don't push.

"Right, yeah, sorry." Gianna continues. "Dad works in the ministry, mums a nurse."

"Nurses are like muggle healers or something like that, right?" She watches Pansy relax, and Gianna appreciates the effort she's making to be friendlier and although Pansy won't ever admit it, she is listening to whatever her therapist is saying. Taking the advice, proof that she does want to move on from how she used to be.

"Yeah, they are." Gianna nods, trying her best to not look patronising.

"See I am learning some things. _What's-his-face_ can suck it. He underestimates me and my ability to be a good person, well who's fucking laughing now you little bitch." Pansy shouts it out a bit too loud and several faces turn to her. Gianna can't stop herself from laughing and the pink blush forming on her cheeks from the sudden attention Pansy's brought upon them, there's no care from her though. "So next, favourite subject?"

"Charms." Gianna gives a simple answer, steadying herself and calming herself down from the laughter.

"Oh Merlin, I can't fucking stand Flitwick." Pansy almost makes a gagging noise, like she's going to be sick. "That small prick does my head in."

"I don't think he's that bad—"

"Of course you wouldn't, he's the head of your house so he probably has some favouritism towards you." Pansy rolls her eyes, and Gianna knows she's right. He loves his Ravenclaw students.

"I mean—"

"Knew it." She scoffs.

"What's yours then?" Gianna bounces back, copying her attitude.

"Potions, even though I despise Slughorn. I much preferred when Snape was the professor." There's a hint of sadness in her tone, everyone knows about what he did for the war.

"Is that because there was favouritism towards his Slytherins?"

"You don't miss a trick do you?" She giggles. "I suppose you're right, so I guess that makes us the same. All the more reasons for us to be friends. However, I may be nice to you Gianna but this is only the beginning, I'm not nice to anyone else, remember that."

"Should I be feeling more honoured?" Gianna asks and her confidence around Pansy is growing by each sentence spoken from both of them.

"Oh absolutely, it's me after all, I'm Pansy fucking Parkinson." Another wink. "So let's talk boys because I have no one else to talk to about this, pretty sure Daphne is still a virgin, she's never told me otherwise so she's probably got no clue." Pansy scoffs. "I'm guessing after how I caught you that morning, it's not the first time that's happened? Don't worry, still no judgement."

"Well, the first time in school, I don't tend to go after the boys from here," Gianna responds.

"Really?" The shock on her face. "Never with boys from school? There are some good looking lads in this school when you want to look properly. Why?'' Just as Gianna is about to speak again, Pansy talks once more. "Oh you're a mysterious girl aren't you, forgot. I suppose that makes sense and in some ways, I don't really blame you, they may be good looking but half of them are fucking idiots."

"Exactly."

"So why that night? Was it just a spur of the moment or were you drunk? Oh, Merlin, don't tell me you were drunk, I will not hesitate to kill the bastard boy whether he's my friend or not, they all know not to take advantage of girls like that."

Gianna's comforted by the protectiveness Pansy has over other girls, even to Gianna who she barely knows. "No I wasn't drunk, it was a spur of the moment like you said. Needed to relax and—," she stops herself from saying too much.

"Needed to relax and so you thought a quick shag would help? Smart thinking, it does always help. But the real question is with who?"

"Pansy—"

"Look right, I just want to know. I won't be annoyed with you, even if it's Draco. We weren't anything important— I'm assuming you know we have a history." Gianna nods her head without showing any expressions. Having spent the last few days listening to Claudia's ever-growing knowledge on the Slytherin boys, she now knows more than she ever did about their relationships and sex lives. The real question is _how the fuck_ does Claudia find this stuff out. "It was a couple of exclusive, quick shags when we needed it but hardly a real relationship." Pansy continues. "So, who was it? Was it Draco?"

Gianna stays silent and shrugs her shoulders, her lips curling up slightly to show no intention of revealing as she has for the past month.

"Hmm. I saw that smile." Pansy squints her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. It's in thought, she's trying to read Gianna's expression, the slight smile she had on her lips that is now gone, figuring out what it meant. And Gianna's just watching her do so, knowing she's not giving anything away. "Well I need to get going now anyway, can you believe McGonagall has me going to sessions at this time of the day?" Pansy scoffs again rising from the bench. "Worse is that all the boys have to come too, a group session where I'll probably be the only one actually contributing actual things like usual."

Interested and wanting to know more, Gianna asks but immediately regrets. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Draco sits all miserable and brooding while Theo comes out with sarcastic remarks and Blaise just stays silent, at least I do think he's listening though compared to the others." Pansy adjusts her skirt as she talks but her eyes shoot back to Gianna. "Look at you all interested, I know it's one of them."

"If you say so, Pansy." Gianna looks away and back to the closed book on the table, her fingers curling under the cover to open it again. "Have fun at your session." A light and cheerful tone for once comes from her.

"Oh, I won't." Pansy laughs. "See you later Gianna." A flash of a smile and she struts out of the hall with her hair swaying on her shoulders.

Giannas left with the thought of the Slytherin group, going to sessions and it's somewhat relieving to hear about. The effort they're putting in to change their lives around.

Well, she hopes.

She also hopes other people see this too. That the criticism, the rumours and the pure hatred the Slytherin house has gained, might slowly disappear and be forgotten. It's highly doubtful though and she can't believe she's being so optimistic.

But she is, and she hopes.

It'd definitely make her decision to pursue the boys easier, that's for fucking sure.

She scoffs at her optimism, it's quite disgusting really. She doesn't like it.

She realises she's obsessing. That once again they're on her mind and that opened book in front is still on the contents page with not another word being read. So she gives up. Closes it, puts it in her bag and raises from her seat to leave the hall. She wants and needs a new location.

~*~

She didn't go back to her tower, she couldn't, not then anyway. Everyone would've been too loud, too happy and fucking unbearable to say the least. And she just didn't —nor ever will— have the patience to listen to Terry talking about Potions or Slughorn. She's certain that he thinks he's God's gift for being accepted into that class, being one of the four Ravenclaws to do so back in year six. She's surprised really, how he can still walk around with that enormous head of his, how he hasn't toppled over, it's astounding. Such an oh-so-proud moment for him.

But it's funny because she was also accepted into the class and yet you would never find her boasting the —almost offensive— ways he does.

There's definitely some reciprocated feelings from his part too, resentment, nearly hatred —which of course she laughs at— for her being there and, in his words, 'one of the best.' At least she doesn't act like him, she doesn't ask millions of irritating questions that are completely useless and pointless and she —like fucking usual— sticks to the back of the class, listening closely and counting down the minutes till she's free.

So she took herself to the library, where she's spent all evening and where she still is. One of her favourite places to go— other than the beautiful lake. And when it's dark outside as the autumn night closes over the school, when it's lit up with a few candles and charms, it's perfectly comforting and soothing to her soul. Especially in times when she needs it the most. Over the last month of being back at school, for example— it's definitely helped, considerably.

She reads the textbook she struggled with earlier, finally. Sitting in the far corner, hidden away from anyone else. A dim light shining above her and the faint tapping of rain against the window as she peers out over the view. It's gotten late, the library practically deserted to the point where she's fairly sure she's alone.

"Dear—," a voice comes from her left. Gianna's head turns to meet Madam Pince standing next to the desk. "—I will be closing the library soon, or do you wish to stay later?"

"Could I stay late tonight? I'm not really in the mood to head back to my tower yet." Gianna looks up to her, a faint smile and softening of her eyes. This has been allowed a few times, for Gianna to stay a bit later, to enjoy the peace and quiet while she can, and Madam Pince understands.

"Of course. I know I can trust you. Are you feeling well?" A look of concern falls to Gianna.

"Yeah, I'm fine— thank you, I just need some quiet for a bit," Gianna responds and attempts to give a reassuring smile.

"Very well, but please don't stay too late. We don't want Filch catching you now, do we?" She smiles in return and Gianna lets out a sigh of a laugh.

She's always been nice to Gianna, maybe she sees some of herself in her. Like Gianna is a younger version. They share the same passion for books after all, overprotectiveness when it comes to them. Gianna can recall the several times she's heard Madam Pince shout at a student for bending the spine too much, folding over the corners as bookmarks, licking fingers before turning the page— now that's something Gianna agrees with, it's fucking disgusting and disrespectful to the book.

"Of course, thank you again for letting me stay," Gianna responds.

"Goodnight, Gianna. I shall be leaving in a few moments but not quite yet, would you mind if I was to extinguish some flames if you are to stay in this corner?"

"That's fine, I'll blow out the rest when I'm done."

"Wonderful, thank you, dear. Have a good evening." Madam Pince nods her head and swivels around with a swish of her robes to the face in the opposite direction. Gianna watches as she disappears behind the rows of shelves and it's the sigh of relief from her lips, the steady heartbeat in her ear that's finally putting her to peace.

Having finished the textbook she decides to raise from her seat and stroll through the stacks to find a more easy read, something simpler, something she knows she will enjoy without having to pay too much attention to. A novel she's read before being her best option.

Her fingers trace along the spines of several leather-bound books. Tones of burgundies, navies, forest greens and blacks with gold lettering and silver titles, all eye-catching as she skims the names to find something— anything she knows and likes. There's silence around her, just footsteps on the wooden floorboards, as she slowly saunters up the isles.

But just as she thought she was beautifully alone, the moment her eyes fall to a potential book, she realises it's too soon of thought as she overhears a conversation from across the library. By the entrance.

"Ah, lovely to see you back again. I was just leaving for the evening, however. Are you wishing to stay?" She recognises that as Madam Pince and Gianna prays it's not a fellow teacher coming to make sure the library is empty— that has happened before. Been forced to leave, unwillingly sent to her dorm because ' _it's too late to be staying in the library._ '

But then it can't be, she asked if they would like to stay, it must be another student. Who else would come to the library so late into the evening too?

Then it's clear.

The other voice— the one that responds.

"Yeah if that's alright."

"Of course, Theodore."

"What have I told you, Irma, we're friends, call me Theo."

Her heart starts racing. It's unbelievable, it's unpredictable, yet she can't believe she didn't see this coming. Of course, when she thought she was having a moment alone, away from the thoughts of them, they pop up, he pops up.

She stops looking at the books and her eyes stare into nothing as she focuses on what's being said. Being nosy, being interested. Doesn't know why but even holds her breath, thinks maybe if she keeps exhaling they'll hear her, know that she's listening in.

"Theodore, I am a member of the faculty, it is Madam Pince to you."

"So formal, I thought we'd moved on from this, I am your favourite after all. Who else do you let use the library so late into the evening?"

_Me._

"Well dear, you are not the only one here tonight, there's a lovely girl in the back."

Gianna smiles.

"You're going to break my heart Irma, I thought we had a connection you know? And now I hear there are others? Do you have any tissues? I think I might cry."

She holds back a laugh, biting on her bottom lip and holding it between her teeth. Her fingers are still resting on one of the shelves, lightly as she does.

"Very amusing. Now I shall be going for the night, I trust you remember what to do?"

She's going.

He's staying.

They're going to be alone.

"Yeah, yeah, lock up and stay out of the restricted section. Although I don't think those rules should apply to me anymore Irma, not after what I've experienced."

She's trying to picture how he must look. Probably resting against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. Or leaning onto Madam Pince's desk as she gathers her belongings. Flirting and charming his way into everything— like she knows he can and like how Pansy said he does. It's another eye rollable moment but intriguing simultaneously. Irresistible.

"I'm afraid the rules still apply, no matter how special you assume you are Mr Nott. Goodnight."

Her voice fades away and Nott becomes louder, only just. "Just shatter my heart, even more, Irma, that's okay, I didn't need it anyway."

Another contained chuckle comes from Gianna with a lift of her shoulders. And now they're officially alone, no one else around.

She hears him walk through the library, quiet footsteps filling the deafening silence, just like her own previous ones. Getting closer and closer to her and she doesn't know what to do. She can hear a slight hum coming from him, some sort of song and it doesn't sound too cheerful. Does she make herself known? To come out of the dark area of the library she's found herself in, hiding in. Laugh at the irony that they're the only people in the whole fucking library, this late into the evening. That she had a dream about this exact scenario not two weeks ago. How she loves irony.

 _Oh—_ that dream. It's going off in her head like an alarm, almost like it's a flashback of something real. It felt real, still feels real as she imagines it. She doesn't stop herself from closing her eyes either, letting it play behind closed lids. What if it comes real? What if that's where it's going? Does she take that opportunity? Will he try something?

She leans back against the shelves with her eyes still shut, her fingers twisting a strand of hair that's falling down her side. Her legs crossing in front. Her chest moving up and down, up and down, steadily. It's thoughts, thinking, ticking. The dreams, the situation at hand.

But it comes to a stop, her eyes flash open when words fill the air.

"Now this— is perfect."

He's standing at the end of the row. He's looking directly at her with a big grin on his face that makes her smile in return. Her head rolls to look at him clearly. He's still wearing his uniform, his shirts untucked though, peeking out the bottom of his grey knitted jumper, his tie is loose underneath. She can't believe she's never realised how he looks before, how at the party she thought he was average, not her type. But with each time her eyes find him, it's like she's being drawn to new features, another part of him adding to the attraction. Layers upon layers of why she keeps finding herself enticed and pulled in his direction.

"Gia, are you following me?" He asks and takes up a stance, leaning against the shelves a few metres away from her. She doesn't shift, stays in her own position just with her head tilted to face him instead.

"I was here first."

"You were." He nods his head in agreement.

"So, if anything, you're following me." She responds and smiles as her eyes look him up and down to eventually land on his face.

"I won't argue against that logic but I didn't know you were going to be here, in all honesty, darling. I felt somewhat inspired to spend my Friday evening in the library, reading a book rather than in the common room party that's happening as we speak." His eyes follow suit, she watches him glance at her up and down too.

"And why would you not rather be at a party?" She questions, their eyes meeting.

"Well, I feel like any party I go to now will just be embarrassingly disappointing compared to the last one I attended." He crosses his arms, and it's exactly how she pictured him to be standing when he was talking to Madam Pince.

"I suppose you have a point there." She smiles, agreeing with him. It was setting the bar high for future parties.

"Oh, I know I do Gia. So what brings yourself here? Avoiding a Ravenclaw party?"

"Just avoiding general conversation."

"So no party in the tower this evening? All probably too busy studying or playing wizard chess to partake in such things, right?"

She scowls slightly but without anger, as her lips curl into a smile. "We have parties, just prefer to attend as opposed to hosting."

"Ah I see, but I don't remember many being there at that other one, apart from you." He's teasing. "I only saw you."

"Were you looking for others?"

"Not after _you_ caught my eye." She feels her stomach flutter with his comment.

"Maybe you just didn't know any of them then, you didn't know me, remember, but we had quite a— memorable introduction." She re-lives that night often.

"Alright, you have that one. That _was_ a night to remember." He lets out a slight chuckle.

"It was." She replies.

"So why haven't we talked since the morning after? Still trying to stay away from me?" With each sentence, question and even word, he's slowly edging closer to her. Inch by inch, ever so slightly, but she sees it.

"I didn't see any effort on your part." She crosses her own arms, turning her own body to rest the sides of her shoulders and waist to the shelves, her head tilting.

"Maybe I was just cooking up something, figuring things out, but it's come to my attention that spontaneity is best suited when it comes to— this."

"This?" She asks but knows really. Her eyes peer down again, realising the gap between them has substantially closed.

"This Gia, you— and me."

"And what is this, then?"

"You tell me." He lifts his elbow to rest it on a shelf, his head being held up by his hand. His eyes wander around her again and she watches him linger on her legs, the knee-high socks, the short skirt.

"Something to keep count of? A score to settle, maybe." She speaks as his eyes move back to hers, his lips curling upwards.

He hums and nods his head once.

"Something that isn't— even." She continues.

He's smirking more with a dark and dangerous look in his irises, knowing exactly what she's meaning. Her heart is in her ears, the hairs on her neck standing up and she can almost feel his breath fanning across her face. And maybe it's the way they're looking at each other but she suddenly feels like her own tie is too tight, that her white shirt is sticking to her too much. Suffocation within the collar.

Holding her breath, scared it'll give away just how fast she's racing, how quick the blood is rushing around her. Knowing that reading a book is consequently the last thing on her mind right now. Assuming the same for him. Hoping, really.

It's a quick minute of silence to hear the breathing coming from him, she notes the way his chest and shoulders are lifting on each inhale. How he's subtly licking his lips, his fingers running through his hair and the smile on his face that's bringing light to their dark and secluded corner.

There's the low patter of rain against the window filling the void, a creak of the floorboards beneath them as he continuously moves closer.

She can smell that cologne again, the one that filled her nose that first night, the one she could smell on him by the lake. It's fucking intoxicating, just as much as he is. Because he is, and with every thought, memory, fantasy— she's becoming drunk. Tipsy in the best way possible and the idea of drinking up every ounce of him is the first thing on her mind. It's an ever-growing thirst that she's not quite sure will ever be quenched.

She breaks the noiseless atmosphere. "Are you wanting to even the score?"

He takes a moment.

Is he analysing this too? Thinking about what to do next? Is he realising the same as her at how they've found themselves? Hidden away in the deserted library behind the stacks, the shelves filled with books. Does he have the same intentions of where this could go? _Oh—_ that dream could become a reality and the anticipation inside her stomach and between her legs is growing and growing. Overflowing.

"I don't know if I do Gianna—," he speaks, finally, after what feels like hours of nothing but locked eyes and parted lips with weighty breaths. "—it might mean the end of— this, if we do."

"So what are you suggesting?" Toe to toe. Nearly nose to nose. And the conversation has distracted them both in just how close they are together.

"Well—," Nott straightens himself, his elbow coming down and off the shelf. "—we're not even right now are we?"

"No."

"So let's say that— this— won't end till we _are_. So no, I don't want to even the— ' _score',_ if it means that whatever _this_ is, will come to a close. Do you understand me, Gianna?" His hand comes up to her face, barely touching her but his fingers trace down her jaw, his thumb hovering over her lips and he takes one last step forward to lean over her. Her back flush against the shelves now, his other arm to the side of her, gripping onto a shelf, trapping her in.

The emerald green eyes she's seen too many times to count— now directly above her own as he towers in front of her. A hard swallow and loss of breath when it stops completely as he pulls down the bottom flesh on her lip. All she can do is nod and it's something that's reoccurring often with him, a lack of words.

"So, Gianna, I'm going to tell you the truth now. I can't stop thinking about you." His eyes aren't on hers anymore, they're moving down, to her lips, to the way his thumb is holding onto it. But then down to the rest of her. But hers are stuck like glue, on his lips, the ones she knows taste like heaven and hell in one. "Especially the last time we found ourselves like this."

She stays quiet.

"You see, I've seen you everywhere and even when you're not there, I still think I see you." Speaking in a hushed tone. "And I think about what we did-- what we could do again." She swallows, again. "I can't get you off my mind, no matter how hard I try."

"I've been thinking about you too." She finally says something. She's the exact same as him and she relaxes knowing she's not the only one feeling like this. Just wonders if the blond is also thinking about her. If he'd admit it so openly. The palms of her hands land on his chest, the cotton of his jumper so soft under them as they slowly glide down.

"Oh, yeah?" He pushes his chest towards her own, not an inch between them. "What have you thought about, love?"

"Just about the lake, what you did— how I left. I left you a bit— _hard_ , didn't I." Her tongue slips out between her separated lips to pull his thumb into her mouth. He lets in a sharp hiss as his gaze locks on the way she gently sucks him.

"Fuck—," He breathes out. "—yeah— you did, darling." His fingers curl under her jaw to her chin, lifting her face up. His thumb drags down her bottom lip once more.

"Wasn't very nice of me was it." She whispers. Their eyes on each other. Her fingers form a fist in the sides of his jumper, scrunching it within her hand. His knee pushes between her legs, opening them around him.

"It really wasn't." He takes a deep gulp.

"I think we should maybe do something about that. I should do something about that."

He smiles.

Then all in a second his lips crash down onto hers, knocking her head back onto the shelves. It causes her to let out a gleeful yelp in which he swallows down through his open mouth on her. Their tongues meet and their heads tilt to fit each other in perfectly.

His hand on her jaw cups her cheek, keeping her close to him with only miniature pockets of air reaching between them. She doesn't care, for the kiss is too strong and she'd happily lose all oxygen if it meant it didn't stop. Her own fingers lift up his shirt and jumper to feel the warm skin of his waist under her fingertips. His other hand drops to her side, grabbing the side of her thigh and lifting it up to wrap around his hip.

A quick movement and his head leaves her lips to dip into the crook of her neck for it to roll back and take her closed eyes up to the ceiling. His large hands grasp onto her thigh tightly, holding it up over him and she can feel him hard against her. Messy, sloppy kisses placed all along her jaw, the spot behind her ear that she loves and down her neck.

She lets out a heavy sigh as her fingers tease along the top of his pants, the leather of his belt to the metallic of the buckle; cold and she wants it gone. She feels him groan as he nips on her tender skin along the column of her throat; with each one getting stronger. She's falling into a state of euphoria, something that she's dreamt about coming true. It's unexplainably real. It's fucking real, it's really fucking happening.

She's not even annoyed.

"Don't stop."

"Just getting started, darling."

The short school skirt she's wearing falls down her thigh on the leg that's raised, exposing more skin to the cold air and his hot grip.

"Gianna." He mumbled against her skin. "I don't— want to settle the score." He sucks on her neck more viciously, breathless. "We're both going to come— say yes." It's quiet and faint but she heard him.

"Yes." Exhaling the words effortlessly. " _Please_."

Her head knocks back into the shelf again as he growls on her hungrily. His hand drops to the other side of her, the leg that's trying to keep some form of balance on the ground. He slips it down and then up her skirt, pulling it up to her waist. She unbuckles his belt wasting no time and begins to unzip his pants.

"Gianna, do the charm—do it." Eagerly panting as she feels his fingers slip into her knickers and push them to the side; his knee forcing her legs open further. "Fuck, you taste so good." He takes a long glide of his tongue up her neck before sucking on her pulse point. His fingers slide along her wet clit carefully, exploring her fully. It causes her to let out a sudden gasp and a jolt of her body, bucking towards him to be closer— if it was possible to be closer.

Their bodies are tangled together and you can't tell where hers ends and his begins.

She holds out her hand to the side of her, open palm and fingers stretched. " _Accio, wand_." It flies across the room to her and in an instant, she casts the _Contraceptive Charm_ onto her skin. The magic soaks into her, giving off a slight glow to show its working.

All while his fingers rub against her clit, adding levels of sensitivity and wetness causing her to let out a quiet whimper of pleasure. He slides them into her, pumping them in and out slowly, stretching her as they curl and tap.

Dropping her wand she continues working on his pants, lowering her own head to his ear and dragging the lobe of it between her teeth. She breathes directly into his ear, unpatterned and unstructured. It's all over the fucking place and the same is coming from him, she can hear it in her own. His heart is pounding out his chest and reciprocating her own unnatural pace within her ribcage. She fears the bones won't be able to hold it back much longer, a supposedly strong and secure cage, but it's beating too quickly, pushing out of her chest. Ready to burst out.

The zip of his pants becomes undone and they drop down a small amount around his thighs. It's enough for her to hook her fingers under the waistband of his boxers and tug them lower, letting his large erection come free. He groans again when she takes a hand to it; brushing her thumb across the tip and using the pre-cum to spread it along him. She wraps her fingers around him and moves her wrist up and down.

"Oh fuck— Gia. I've not stopped thinking about this, what I'd do to you again." Talking quietly in her ear, his lips still nibbling on her neck. He tugs her knickers further to the side and she takes his cock closer to her, feeling him on the inside of her thigh. His hand still grabbing onto her leg that's draping over him, holding herself flush against him.

"Like— like what?" She asks with a whimper as his cock circles her clit.

"Fucking you everywhere—," he slides his length between her legs, letting out a shaky breath. "—having you moan my name in your voice that I've imagined too many times to count." He's being so open, so outward with how he's feeling and _oh_ he's so _fucking attractive._ She knows she can tell him that she's thought of the same things. This exact situation is one of them. "Making you come again— making you shake— I want to taste you again, feel myself inside you again."

"Me—," she starts but she's interrupted by the slow, long push of the head of his cock into her pussy. "Oh—Theo." He sinks into her, all of him and deep as he does.

"Gianna, keep saying my name like that— you sound so good— oh you feel so good, _fuck_." He rocks his hips into her, pulling away to push back in. It's slow to start, lifting her ever so slightly to her tip-toes on the one remaining leg to the floor but he's got her, he won't let her fall over. With each bury of his cock within her she feels her body move, up on the shelves, up off the floor.

A pace develops and it's no longer viable for her to stay with her foot on the ground. He takes his fingers and curls them under both her thighs to yank her off the floor; her ankles lock behind him and it's easier. She grips onto his shoulders, to the nape of his neck, her digits running through the wavy strands on his hair. So silky smooth between her fingers. She tugs on him to lift his face to her, to look her in the eyes before their lips meet again. Aggressively biting down on each other, their tongues swirling together.

His hips snap quicker, thrusting into her and gliding in and out. His hands pushing and pulling her hips off of him, dragging them away to ruthlessly bring her straight back to him. And with each merciless pound, she yelps as her back smashes against the hard, wooden stacks behind her.

It's a total trance she's found herself in, complete bliss. Smiling onto his swollen lips that are firmly pressed to her own, that are sucking and nibbling on her plump flesh. Pants, whimpers, soundless moans amongst the wet kisses, all being swallowed down by each other.

Oh, it feels so fucking good— finally getting a taste of that craving she's had. The emptiness she's felt for the last few weeks, the lack of touch from either of them. Strange and weird; how addicted she is. It's a haze of lust engulfing them, elating and electrifying with each of his touches under her thighs. When his lips move and miss the centre of her lips, kissing the upward corners to cheeks.

She's clenching around his cock, fluttering against him. So wet and tight but he's filling her up comfortably.

"Keep going Theo— _please._ "

"I never want to stop." Pounding up into her, faster, harder. The shelves shaking behind them. "I've dreamt of doing this to you."

"Oh— _Theo._ "

"Fucking you in this library, up these shelves and having you grip onto me so fucking perfectly." He groans into her mouth, and she can't believe what she's hearing. She has to tell him, it's too coincidental.

"Oh fuck— Theo— me too." She bites onto his lip, dragging it out before releasing. She tilts her head back again and he attacks her throat, sucking viciously on her jugular. Her nails digging into the top of his spine, following down to the collar of his shirt.

"What?" He asks quietly, not looking up at her; continuing with his assault.

"I've had the same dreams, Theo." Short of breath. "I— I've dreamt about this too." The feel of him, the pressure, the touching and tapping upon the perfect spot within her. Her eyes rolling back, holding her bottom lip between her teeth to contain more noises.

It's the risk, where they are. It's just adding to the intensity. Like a fire ignited in her stomach, raging like Feindfyre with no way of stopping it. Hotter and hotter. Sweatier and wetter.

"Are you being serious?" He bites gently into her neck as his hips slap into her own with an unsteady rhythm, mercilessly and chaotic.

"Yes!" She moans out louder than others. "Exactly this— you— here."

"Oh fuck Gia— you're fucking perfect." If it's possible, he speeds up. Something overtakes him and it's like he's being put into overdrive. Working harder and she can feel him slam into her, pulling her legs further apart to let him in deeper.

She makes tight fists in his jumper, her knuckles turning white. His fingers digging into her hips with handfuls of her, firm and strong.

She can feel herself reaching the top.

Her eyes squeeze shut as she's blinded by the white lights behind them, stars flashing, soaring across the makeshift night sky. And she comes intensely around his cock letting out a hushed whimper with restraint. Her body shakes as the orgasm rushes through her body, feeling the energy to the tips of her fingers and the soles of her feet. And she feels him come too, releasing himself into her, feeling him explode as he lets out a large groan onto her neck. His teeth then bore down on her shoulder through her shirt.

"Fuck— fuck!" He swears out and she can feel his body tremble. One of his hands releases her leg to reach and grab for a shelf. He needs balance; his knees are giving way but he keeps her up and holds her close as they come hard then down from the high of their climaxes, together. "Fucking hell— Gia."

He lifts his head to look at her again, she sees a glimmer in his eyes and a warmth amongst the green. Like summer forests, rays of golden sunlight amongst the towering trees.

Both breathing heavily, chests heaving; they stay silent and look at each other with parted lips that are slowly curling upwards. He rests his forehead against hers, their eyes never separating. They stay like this, for what feels like hours, catching themselves, steadying the chaotic hormones that are filling the air around them. Dopamine surging through them.

Slowly he pulls himself out of her and she lowers her feet back to earth, coming down from the clouds she just found herself in. The heaven and nirvana of her orgasm that's filled with lust and strong desire.

His hands leave her for the first time to pull up his pants and buckle up his belt but their sweaty foreheads remain together. Their noses brushing, their lips an inch apart. She can taste his air, the oxygen they're sharing. She adjusts her skirt back to position and her fingers find their way back up to his hair, swiftly pushing a piece away that's tickling against her. His hand comes back to her cheek and his thumb rubs along her cheekbone.

"You know Gia— I'm never going to get enough of you." He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Consider the score never settled, someone's _always_ going to be one up— trust me." He places another kiss on her lips as he pulls himself away.

She doesn't know what to say, she just smiles with a bite on her lip.

"I think we should leave." He ruffles his hair between his fingers and takes a step back. "I don't think we will be reading any books for the rest of the evening." His gaze is strong and intense on her like it's piercing through her. "Let me walk you partly back to your tower."

"I— I'll grab my stuff."

He leans back on the opposite shelves, still fixing his hair as she gathers up her belongings she left by the desk she was at earlier.

Her heart is still racing, her breathing still erratic and she can't seem to slow it down, can't stop the beat in her ears. She rests her hands on the desk, closes her eyes and composes herself. She feels weak and brittle, but it's in no way bad. It's the aftershocks of the orgasm, the eventual come down. Swallowing hard.

With everything in her bag, she slings it over her shoulder and pats down her hair. Walking back to him she sees as he lazily waits for her, legs crossed and stretched in front, arms folded over his broad chest.

When he sees her come back, a smile shows and he straightens himself up, pushing himself off the shelves and tilts his head indicating for her to follow him. They close up the library for Madam Pince like promised and head in the direction of the Ravenclaw tower through the empty school.

All without another word being said.

And although it's a silence that comes from the both of them, it's not uncomfortable. Almost natural and that they both know nothing else needs to be said. Just minor moments of eye contact, their hands brushing against each other unintentionally due to the small distance between them. A smile, a look, a skip of a beat.

But he chooses to break it once they reach a junction in the halls that lead in different directions of where they are both supposed to be.

One in the dungeons, one in a tower.

"I'm not proposing a romantic relationship Gia." They stop in the cross of joining corridors and her head turns to look at him. He takes a step towards her and closes the gap, towering over her once again. "But, whatever _this_ is— I want more." It's a straight and powerful look he's giving her, making her heart flutter in her chest. "Now that I know you're thinking the same, having the same thoughts— like you admitted— I will be seeing you again." He hooks a finger under her chin, assertively lifting her face up to look at him. "Don't try and fight it."

He pulls away from her and turns swiftly on his heels to face and walk onwards in the opposite direction to the dungeons.

And she's left alone.

In the middle of the crossroads of the corridors, watching him go down without a look back.

She's not going to fight it, she can't. The gravitational pull towards him, towards the blond too; it's too fucking strong and there's no resisting it. She could try, try her very hardest but she knows she'd have no luck.

She's happy, she got what she wanted and now she just wants more and more.

Oh, she can't believe who she's becoming. It's not exactly how she saw this year going, how she thought it was going to be like. There's still the niggling thought in the back of her head about the war though, but these boys are proving to be an effective distraction and not the kind where she's forgotten about it.

They're the kind that makes her realise that there's still more to life, that she can't sit around wallowing in her own self-pity anymore.

So she won't.

She swivels on her heels and wanders aimlessly to eventually reach back to the Ravenclaw tower.

~*~


	9. Care to elaborate?

~*~

**2nd October 1998**

Theodore Nott. Theo, that's what he wants her to call him. He made that abundantly clear.

A boy she's only ever heard of in distant conversations. His name, being called by teachers in classrooms when the Ravenclaws and Slytherins were together. Claudias gossiping about what everyone in their year was doing, who they were dating, who was single and everything in between. But she never once thought about him, didn't give him a second thought or even let his name stick in her mind. Never let her eyes fall on him for too long, never talked to him, never even _really_ acknowledged his existence. Why would she? She came to school for school and that was that. No alternatives. 

And yet now, the taste of him is still lingering on her lips. 

The warm grip of his hands still indented into the skin on her legs. 

In all fairness, it was a mere thirty minutes ago— since being at the library, since they parted ways. So, of course, it's still there. But it's strong, it’s fucking powerful, and it feels like his body is still pressed up against hers. A ghosted memory of where they fitted each other. How his lips kissed hers, to her cheeks, her jaw, her neck.

Her fingers trace down where they once were, imagining.

She didn't go back to her tower straight away once they separated. She couldn't. She wanted to leave it as a last resort before Claudia asked where she was, what she was doing. If she was okay— if she wanted to talk about it. She didn't and doesn’t want that. So she strolls through the school aimlessly knowing she isn’t going to get caught out after curfew because it isn’t yet. She has ten minutes left. She keeps checking.

Wait— nine, now.

With it coming close, she realises that a direct path to the entrance and the spiral stairs that lead up to her tower is where she has to take her weak legs. But she loves walking through the empty school so much. Why can’t she just keep doing this all night? Breathable, cold air running over her as a breeze flows through from the courtyards. Perfect silence and tranquillity. 

There's still the gnawing pain of guilt in her though. And she believes she'll never quite get rid of it. A lasting pit of darkness she’ll have to familiarise herself with. But she supposes that's okay. It's part of the process of moving on, isn't it? As long as she never truly forgets what happened, she can move on. Onto what she’s doing, the way she's coping.

What would her old roommate say about her newfound coping mechanisms? There was never the same level of judgment on her part, not unlike Claudia. Gianna could tell her about these things, what she'd do over the summers for example and she’d never be faced with a look of concern or disapproval. Instead, she was always given good advice, words of wisdom. And she was even a year younger than them.

So Gianna wonders what she’d say as she walks slowly through the corridors of the school. The school in which still feels somewhat emptier without her.

She lets out a quiet groan in annoyance the closer she gets to the bottom of the stairs, dragging and forcing herself to keep going. Plotting how she’ll sneak past everyone and go straight to her room. To curl up under her blue sheets and bury her head into her feathered pillow.

But then she sees a flash of blond, leaning against a wall as she turns a corner.

He’s in her direct eye-line. Nonchalantly resting his back against the stone, arms crossing over his chest, head lolled back lazily and looking up at the roof. A bored expression, weary, tired almost from what she can see, how she’d describe him. Also, impatient. The tapping of his foot on the floor can attest to that, filling the empty silence of the school with a gentle pattering. 

Shouldn't he be at a party? Theo said there was a party, one that he was avoiding, but is heading back towards now. One she assumed the blond would be at, but he's not. He's here, right by the bottom of the stairs that lead up her tower. Purposely? Accidentally?

She keeps walking— slower, and plots what to do. To make eye contact or to ignore him. Is he waiting for her? Does he know that she's out of her tower and not up there, that she's been in the library with Theo attached to her lips and hips? 

Another step closer and his head lowers to roll to the left. Eyes on her. 

A smirk curls on the corner of his lips and she can see it so clearly. Their eyes meet uncontrollably, making her feel like he's burning a hole straight through her— before his leave to follow her down. 

Purpose, this must be on purpose but there's also a hint of shock in his grey eyes that are watching her. Almost like he wasn’t expecting to see her. With the way they widen and the way his posture changes. An accident then, a happy one though. She can see his smile growing.

So now what the fuck does she do?

She decides to keep walking, not to speak, as her eyes flutter between the place she was heading— to then look at him. She holds her bag close to her as it hangs over her shoulder. Her hair has been thrown up into a messy bun on the top of her head, with a few strands hanging down loosely. She wonders if she has any marks on her neck, from the lips of the other. If they’re visible or if with the darkness of the corridor they’re concealed and hidden. She hopes they are, she doesn’t want him knowing what's she’s just done. 

As she takes another couple of small steps closer to him, he straightens himself up and his eyes are glued to her. Smirking but still not having said anything. And she’s trying to think if she should maybe say something. Maybe ask him why he’s here, why he’s stood outside her tower. But then she also wants him to say something first as she said, she wants them to make the first move if this is going to be something she’s going to do— the both of them. 

Nibbling at her bottom lip to suppress a smile and hide the nerves inside too, she concludes to keep her eyes forward and wait. Wait to see what he’s going to say— if he says anything. 

And as she gets closer and closer, her heart starts racing profusely. Her lip becomes swollen, more than it already is. She’s feeling the heat from the burning eyes on her. 

“Bell.” He finally speaks, quietly. And hearing her name come from his mouth— rolling off his tongue— causes her to stop in her tracks; her eyes turn to look at him. “I was wondering when we were going to see each other again.” It’s hushed but loud enough for her to hear and it causes her to swallow. 

“Malfoy.” She replies, under her breath not quite sure what else to say, not sure what to do and she feels— awkward. She’s stood there looking at him and she’s frozen.

Suddenly her mind goes blank and Theo is gone. Returning to the tower —something she didn’t want to do anyway— is gone too. All that’s remaining is him. How he’s stood there with his eyes stuck on her. His casual clothes of a black jumper and black jeans. She can’t stop her eyes from following him down.

She’s so close to him now, he’s within arms reach.

Surrounded by nothing but silence. 

And it takes the stretch of his right arm, his extended fingers— for him to grab her wrist and pull her to him. She lets out a sudden gasp as she quickly finds herself being dragged into an alcove and pinned harshly against a wall. With the motion, her head hits back on the stone and stars flash behind her blinking eyes. Her breath hitches in her throat but there it is again, the mischievous smile that showed on her face last time he did this to her. His arms on either side of her head, trapping her in.

And it's enough to tell him what he must want to know as she watches the smirk on his lips up to the glint in his dark eyes. 

“Have you been avoiding me?” He asks, looking down at her with his intimidating gaze. 

“Might have been.” She wants that anger again, the fury he showed last time. The hand as a necklace, she wants to wear it with pride again. So she lies to him in hopes her wants will become a reality.

“We’re supposed to be getting to know each other. That’s not the way to do it.” The familiar minty breath falling into her mouth as he hovers over her. “Although I have been getting to know you quite well from afar.”

“Excuse me?” She asks. Confused. Eyebrows furrowing.

“I’ve been watching you.”

Why hasn't she seen this? All she's seen are little glances, little looks, but not stares, not him watching her.

“Oh and that’s not creepy at all.” She remarks. Smiling when his thumb and index finger come to her chin, indenting in her cheeks to force her eyes on him. She watches him give off that little sparkle of lightning again, letting her know he's enjoying the taunting just as much as she is. The glimmer of light amongst his dark, stormy eyes.

A storm waiting to happen, a storm she's going to get caught in the middle of. Just as she predicted.

“I know you’ve been watching me too.” She feels his knee coming between her legs, separating them enough for him to fit in. Despite the rapid pace of her heart in her chest, she remains composed in her outward appearance. Casually she drops her bag on the floor next to them so to stop it swinging. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gianna knows he’s not stupid, but she’ll keep tormenting him— till his rings are pressed into her neck again. Till she’s got a beautiful purple bruise on her neck from them. Then she remembers the marks from Theo again, hoping there aren't any, hoping Malfoy won't see them.

“Sure you don’t.” He tuts at her as he speaks. His eyes fall down her and his thumb rubs circles into her cheek, edging slowly towards her lips, where his eyes are stuck. It's a hard pressure, it's rough and the corners of her mouth just keep going upwards.

“Well, like what you see?” She can’t take her eyes away from the strike in his eyes. Flashing over and over again. Igniting fires inside her, setting her ablaze. 

His knee raises higher and her arms fall down to her sides. The space between them, closing, almost chest to chest as he drags his index finger to her lips too. He gently tugs on her lower lip, like he's examining them and she wishes she could know what he's thinking.

Fuck. Do they look swollen? Do they look like they've just been kissed by his friend? Can he tell or is he thinking something different?

“You could say that.” He whispers, eyes dark then bright and distracted. Breathing heavily. The way he's playing with her lips, he can't be imagining something innocent, she assumes anyway. Maybe he likes how swollen they are, not thinking about why they are like that. Enjoying the thought of them. “You’re not what you let on are you?” His other arm is up next to her head still, she's completely trapped in. She swallows hard when she feels his knee right up against her core as he talks. So casually done, like it's nothing. 

“Care to elaborate?” Her body betrays her when she finds herself slowly moving against his knee. Biting back any light sighs that are wanting to leave her, she keeps them contained as she feels the friction between her legs. On a spot that is already sensitive from earlier actions. 

The hand on her face— the finger and thumb that were playing with her lips— they move away from her and towards her chin. She’s excited, thinking he's going to do what she wants but then he traces down her neck to the collar of her shirt. His fingers edge along the outline of it, barely touching her skin but she can feel the warmth from them. Then down to her tie for him to loosen it slightly, teasing her top buttons and undoing the first one.

He begins to speak again, her eyes close. Hips moving on his knee more. “You keep your head down—,” and as he says that, his head lowers to the crook of her neck to place a kiss on the column of her throat. Skimming her skin. But it's the opposite side to the one Theo attacked, and she realises she's going to be bruised all over her neck. “Eyes too— when you're not looking at me.”

She looks at them both, but he doesn't need to know that. Let him think it's all about him. 

His lips press in. Sucking on her skin with deep pressure to then use his tongue and soothe over the area. Her head rolls back ever so slightly and tilts to the side. Giving him more access, instinctively and a quiet whimper escapes her. Especially when he reaches up to the spot behind her ear— the one she loves— the one he found them weeks ago at the party. It's the spot that makes her completely crumble and he knows it, so he sucks harder. 

“You’re quiet and reserved— but it’s all fake.” He continues, up in her ear but it's becoming incoherent mumbles. She can't focus when she feels his hand slip down the side of her breast, dipping into her waist and following out her hips. Slowly as he does, taking in every inch of her sides and grasping on with a light touch. 

Her own hands move to the hem of her skirt— again without a thought. She fiddles with it, feeling it raise higher as she slowly grinds her hips on his thigh now. But they move to his hips then stomach and she can feel his jumper under the palm of her hands. 

“And what makes you— makes you think that? That I’m fake.” She says as his teeth graze her throat. The bundle of nerves between her legs begging for more and she lets out another whimper followed by a quick press of her lips together. 

“What you’re letting me do right now— what you let me do before.” His hand moves to her backside and his grip tightens. His fingers dig into her flesh as her skirt lifts up and he tucks under the elastic of her knickers. “The party.” Teeth, lips, tongue in that order. “The classroom.” He guides her, moving her hips for her. Forwards and backwards along his thigh that's raised so high, she's on her tiptoes. 

Already, there's the ache. And he's helping it. Oh, it came back quickly, she's only just been filled. 

Fuck, she’s only just left the fucking library and she’s doing this again. It’s happened so quickly she hasn’t even had a chance to process it. It's been less than an hour since she last found herself in this position, with Theo. And yet here she is, having her neck sucked and clit rubbed by his thigh. How did this happen though? She was supposed to be going back to her dorm room, to sleep off the day and into the late hours of Saturday afternoon. But no, she's grinding her hips on Malfoy’s leg and feeling the pleasure of it rush through her. She’s not complaining. These boys are just too fucking good. It’s funny. She smiles, almost laughs. 

“Mhmm.” She nods her head, not even caring what he's saying because she knows he's right. Just closes her eyes and enjoys the moment instead of worrying. “Anything else you want to say?”

He groans and abruptly slams her up against the wall; her head hits back against it once more. She lets out a sudden yelp, followed by a gasp at the movement and the jolt she feels through her body. Finally, his hand on the wall comes to the front of her neck and he wraps his fingers around her as he pulls his lips away.

“So _fucking_ cocky aren’t you?” He growls, angrily. She smiles more, swears she hasn't stopped smiling from the moment he hit her head against the stone of the alcove. “I’ll give you what you want then. You want to be choked don’t you?” He squeezes tighter. His lips over her. “You liked it when I called you a _fucking cunt_ too— didn’t you?”

She doesn’t reply. She’s got what she wants. She just smiles and grins and beams.

“Bet you want to be called a slut too— a whore. And the way you’re acting makes you deserve it.” His leg is rubbing against her clit perfectly, her skirt up around her waist. She can't breathe, her mouth is agape and soundless. “So yeah, I think you're fake. No— I know you're fake and I know what you're really like.” His thumb pushes her face up to him and his teeth sink into her bottom lip and drag it out without kissing her. "Especially after I saw the marks."

Her eyes open quickly and look into his dark pools. He releases her lip slowly to press his forehead against her. Both grips on her neck and arse compress more. Her hands rest on his stomach with a scant push on him.

"What marks?" She breathes out— up into his mouth. Chest heaving, a bead of sweat developing on her temple. 

"Don’t pretend you don’t know what I fucking mean— I know you do. The one you have here." He brings his hand around from her backside to the front of her. Uses his thumb to press against her hip bone— just like he did before— when they were in the classroom. He drags it directly above the mark she remembers is there— under her school skirt, on bare skin.

It’s the one left from that night three years ago. The tattoo of her life-changing moment. She knows it now— the long stare and the painfully slowed down moves in that classroom. 

He was looking at her scar.

And he knows.

She quickly pushes his wrist away and the pressure of his thumb disappears from her skin. But his lips remain in place and drop lower so that they brush against her own.

Why is she embarrassed? She feels ashamed. She doesn’t like how he knows exactly what she enjoys. The secrecy was good for her and now she just feels exposed— especially to him. It feels like he’s mocking her in some way. He’s obviously seen through her outward image— knows the truth so she gives him that. He’s smart for seeing when so many others haven’t. But she doesn’t like it— not when it feels like he’s making fun of her, teasing her about it. 

"And the one here." He raises his hand again and points to another spot on her torso. She blushes. Feels the bright pink flush along her cheeks with rising heat. The burn— just below her breast on her ribs. The new one from summer. The realisation hits her like a tone of fucking bricks. When they were done— that day, he stood there staring at her, staring at her chest and she just thought he was looking at her breasts. But it was another mark that had caught his eye. 

She feels stupid, like a fucking idiot for not figuring that out sooner. 

Her hips stop moving on his thigh and he drops his leg a little for her skirt to fall back down. “I wonder if you’ve got more— clearly that’s something you’re into.” He smirks and she scowls. Suddenly not liking this situation, she starts to feel uncomfortable but his hand stays around her neck and wraps more.

“You think you know me so well?” She can’t help but still love the cold press on her skin from his rings though. Despite how she now feels about what he’s saying.

“Oh, I do—,” he grins, smugly. “But do you want to hear a secret?”

“Go ahead.” Only mildly intrigued, she raises her brows but moves her eyes away from him. Not wanting him to see the embarrassed look on her face. The rosy cheeks and nibble on her lip.

But her eyes swiftly move back within a matter of seconds. She swallows hard. He speaks and she's stunned. 

“I want to give you more.” 

Her heart stops and his lips crash down onto her again.

She isn't given a moment to acknowledge what he's said, her mind goes straight to the tongue that's slipping between her parted lips. Her lips that are being sucked, nipped at. His arm that snakes around her waist and pulls her chest closer to him. All while the other hand continues its hold on her. He groans into her and it causes her to let out a low moan.

Like a natural reflex, her hands slide up his forearms to biceps the best she can to reach the nape of his neck. Her fingers comb through his hair and tug on the strands to give her a small gap of air before letting him dive back into her.

He leaves her lips and messily places kisses along her cheek, following down to her jaw and back down to her neck. But her pulse point is the main goal as he trails his tongue up towards it and she tries to steady her breathing. Her head knocks back against the wall again as she falls into the moment. Forgetting, disregarding what he just said as his hand releases her neck and moves down to her behind. 

“Fuck.” He groans onto her sensitive skin, her jugular beneath his soft lips and tongue. She can feel him hard on her hip. She can see the tingle of nerves in her abdomen. The tightness with a need to release the tension. It would be so easy to just slip her fingers into his pants, to feel him in her hand as she would guide him closer to her. To have him in this alcove, up against the wall. But then she remembers, she's just come from that, she's just had that. She needs to take a breather, a moment to think about it. 

Then the words he's just said speak again, resounding in her ears. Echoing violently in her mind like a song playing on repeat. It's shouting at her, screaming and adding to the twisting she feels in her stomach. Excitement, elation. 

“ _I want to give you more.”_

“What— what do you mean?” She pants, heavily. Her eyes up and looking at the curved arch of the alcove. “To give me more.”

“Let me give you more marks, let me do things to you.” He mumbles as he drops lower on her neck, undoing more of her buttons and opening her shirt further. Exposing her chest to the cold air around them and his warm breath as he kisses her collar bones. Her tie becomes fully loose. 

She lets out a quiet whimper. “You— you want to do— that?” She's trying her very hardest to speak clearly but it's nearly inaudible, covered by sighs. “You're into that?” Her fingers still gripping on tightly to his hair, as his hands squeeze onto her waist and backside. His thumb digs in her hip and she can feel the faint nod of his head on her chest. “Fuck.” She whispers.

She’s speechless. Breathless. The nod of his head. He nodded. He's into that. Why can't she wrap her head around this? Why is she struggling to process this information? Maybe it’s the fact she never thought anyone from this boring fucking school would ever want to do something like that. So she's amazed. Stunned so much someone might as well have hit her with _Stupefy._

She stutters. 

Falters. 

And no words escape her lips. 

Caused by the unfathomable words he's just said. Then she wants to kick herself for even thinking no one would be like that. Being so closed off to the thought when clearly people aren't as dull as she once assumed. Blames herself for being so distant. 

But she's pulled out of her thoughts when she feels him travelling back up her. Lips from chest to the base of her neck and he stands straight again. She realises how tall he is when he does, the way he's towering over her. 

She’s so fucking dumbfounded by what’s going on shes only just realising how fucking tall he is. Was he always this tall?

Then she's wondering why he's stopped, why he's looking at her the way he is. There's only a subdued glow coming from the moon outside but she can see the seriousness in his face. He's being deadly serious.

His hands release her.

She descends back to earth.

A sober tone. His chest hits against her own with a lively heartbeat.

“If that's something you’re into, then do it with me.” It's not a question. It's more like a command. As if she doesn't have a choice. “Think about it, and get back to me.”

Then he leaves. Just like that. Turns on his heels and his presence is gone. 

She watches the back of him. Walking off in the other direction. All while she's left up against the wall he pushed her on. Her thighs rubbing together. The agony between her legs he never satisfied and she wants to curse at him. Throw all kinds of spells and charms at him in retaliation for leaving her like this. Working her up then leaving.

Unbalanced, she bites the inside of her cheek. Takes a deep breath and picks up her bag to finally pull herself together and walk back to the tower. 

Cursing, muttering under her breath. Screaming inside her head. 

Repeat, repeat, repeat. 

_“I want to give you more.”_

And she never found out why he was there. If it was on purpose or if it really was a happy accident. So many fucking questions and now she’s fully aware sleep will not be happening tonight. 

~*~

Claudia looks to Gianna in confusion as she slowly saunters into their dorm room, well past curfew. “Where have you been? Terry was wanting to tell you about—,”

“I was in the library, lost track of time.” Gianna quickly interrupts. Partly a lie, partly the truth. Praying Claudia doesn't look at her neck. 

Claudia quirks a brow but immediately shakes it off. Clearly finding it a reasonable excuse. It's not the first time Gianna’s stayed in the library so late. “Well you didn’t miss much, he was still being an incessant arse, like usual. Did you know he’s on track to finish his exams sooner than everyone else? I think its a lie, he said it and—,”

“Claudia, you know I don’t give a fuck what Terry says, he’s a compulsive liar and still thinks he’s special for being in Slughorns class.” Gianna chucks her bag down on her bed to quickly disappear into the bathroom; her wand ready to do a glamour spell over her marks. Laughing to herself in the process at how covered she is, at how stupid the boys are for giving her so many. 

How ironic that they are on different sides of her neck. That they don't know about each other.

“You’re right,” Claudia shouts from their dorm room. “Padma believes him though.”

“Of course she does,” Gianna replies with a similar raised voice. “She’s desperate for his approval.” 

“That’s also true. Well anyway it was a boring night and I wish we could have sneaked into the party the Slytherins were holding. But apparently, it was only for them tonight, pricks.” Claudia groans and Gianna lets out a little giggle. 

_“I want to give you more.”_

She swallows. Shakes it off. 

She continues looking at herself in the small bathroom mirror and hurries the healing process on her bruises and hickeys. But she finds herself interrupted by her cat brushing itself against her ankles. “What the fuck do you want?” She asks, looking down at it with a frown. Her face softens though when his little, green eyes look back up and a purr comes from him. “Oh, you're in a good mood today, are you?” He purrs again, indicating a yes. 

She places her wand down on the bathroom counter and bends down to pick it up, scooping him in her arms. His soft, black and white fur in between her fingertips and he nuzzles his head into her chest when she holds him close. She's always surprised when feeling his fur, he looks so scruffy and dry at first glance but in reality, he's like silk. Even more surprising when she remembers his old age.

She can feel his small vibrations under her palm and the gentle wag of his tail on her arm. And she smiles, shaking her head at how much she loves to hate this cat. Picking up her wand again she heads back into the dorm room to find Claudia leaning back on her headboard and reading a Divination textbook on her lap.

“He’s been an awful pain in the arse tonight, you know. Screeching because you weren't here,” Claudia speaks without looking up. “The whole fucking common room heard him. I _really_ don’t understand your relationship.”

“It’s complicated.” Gianna smiles and hugs him tighter. She kicks off her shoes and walks towards her bed to sit on the edge and place her cat on her lap instead, stroking it attentively and giving it affection— for once. 

“One minute you hate each other, the next he's crying because he misses you. Make it make sense, I beg.” Claudia giggles and finally looks up to Gianna. Her eyes narrow and wander her— like she's searching for something in particular but there's nothing to see. Again, Claudia just shrugs it off.

“I suppose it's like family in general, isn't it? You fight with your brothers all the time but you still love them.” Gianna’s eyes fall down, watching him sleepily nestle his head in her thighs. “Gizmo can be cute— sometimes.”

“You know I still find his name weird, explain it to me.” 

“It’s Muggle, surely you'd know that.” Gianna's fingers tickle his head as he falls asleep so her gaze goes back to a muddled looking Claudia, who's throwing her raven hair back into a low ponytail. “Mum wanted to name him after one of her favourite films from the eighties, which fits because he really can be a Gremlin.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen it. And I'm muggle-born.” Claudia scoffs with a hint of a light laugh.

“It’s quite popular— I think, I don’t know. Mum made me watch it.” Gianna sighs heavily, for no apparent reason other than the echoing inside her head. She inhales deeply. 

“Are you okay?” Claudia's tone changes and so does her position on her bed. Taking her legs to dangle over the edge and place the book on her bedside table. Her attention solely on Gianna— who's slightly zoned out with glazed eyes and staring into nothing. 

She snaps back, releasing.

“Yeah, why?” Gianna drops her chin and drags her eyes down to Gizmo, who's now sleeping soundly and comfortably on her legs. Her fingers comb through the fur on his back, distracting herself from the look she feels is on her. She can feel goosebumps on her skin from the look. The look of a query. 

“You look— different— have you done something differently?” Claudia presses. 

“Just the same as always,” Gia replies in a light and cheerful tone, masking her dread inside. She loves Claudia, she really does. But this is something so different from what she's done in the past and if she thought she got judgment before, she can’t even imagine what Claudia would say about this little game. “What makes you say that?” Gianna questions but instantly regrets it. 

“You have a little glow about you and your lips— they look— bigger.” Giannas eyes slowly move up to meet with Claudia’s green ones. They squint, she smirks. “Have you been kissing someone?”

“What? No.” Gianna frowns and lets out a shaky laugh. Assuming she's in no way convinced Claudia she hasn’t. “Don’t be ridiculous.” She scoffs and takes her eyes away. To look anywhere else.

“Why don’t I believe you?” Gianna can sense from the tone coming from Claudia that her eyebrows are raised and she's smiling. It's a playful but dreadful tone and it’s teasing. “Is that where you've been? Kissing some boy in the library?”

_Yes._

“No, Claudia, stop it.” 

“Somewhere in school then? Booked an alcove for the evening, did you?”

_Yes._

“You’re being nonsensical. Like I would go kissing boys from this school.” Gianna scowls and drops her eyes back on her cat. “You know that’s not something I do.”

Focus on the cat. But surely that's obvious if she's so desperate to avoid eye contact? Maybe look at her, dead in the eye. Show her that poker face her mother taught her. 

Her heart palpitates. Her eyes sedate.

“Mhmm, if you say so. You know you can tell me if you were. I’d be ever so interested which lucky boy from this school has _actually_ managed to grab your attention, Miss _‘I don’t shag boys I’ll have to see again.’_ ” Claudia rises from her bed and changes into her pyjamas and disappears into the bathroom leaving Gianna alone in the dorm room.

The strain in her shoulders releases and she lets out a shaky breath. She’s pulled back to reality when Gizmo stirs on her. She gently lifts him up, carries him in her arms again to place him over in his little, blue cat bed in the corner of the room. Following suit, she also changes out of her school clothes finally and settles into her bed. 

Laying on her back, she ignores Claudia as she eventually comes stumbling back in. She mutters and mumbles in the background about something Padma said over the evening, giggling at something Michael joked about and it's all insignificant. Not important, especially when she's got other things to think about. So, Gianna’s mind strays. Her eyes stare up at the ceiling and the constellations. Remembering the evening, letting it play like a broken record. 

She doesn’t sleep that night. She can't. 

_“I want to give you more.”_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dread that people hate this because it's not a slow burn at all will be the death of me. I know it's super messy and all over the place.


	10. Were they good?

~*~

**17th October 1998**

Two weeks.

It's been two weeks and all she's done is think about what they said. Avoiding them as she does, with the need to think properly. Clear and free of them to get her head around the situation properly. Time and space for plenty of thought.

Two weeks.

Firstly, him. He who wants more of her— of this— whatever they have. And she wants it too. Because whatever this is between them, is something worth her time. It's undeniable. To feel his hands on her. To hear him say how much he thinks about her, the same way she thinks about him. To have his lips to her skin, the warmth of his breath as he talks.

She doesn't want to fight it.

Then the other. How he wants to satisfy her in the ways she desires. An open invitation to do what she enjoys. To get what she wants— no— needs. To be shamefully scarred, marked and ruined, in the best ways possible. He said it so clearly and after all the thought she's put into this, the contemplation, the hesitation, she wants him to. And it's final, that's her decision.

Have whatever it is she has with Theo, do whatever she wants with Malfoy.

Laughs at herself. Remembering when she thought she had self-control.

When she vowed to never shag someone twice.

When she said she'd never do anything with boys from school.

And they'll probably find out one day, so she better make a plan, ready for when they do. To plot and strategise how to handle it, because if they keep leaving hickeys on her neck— if Malfoy really lives up to his word, she's going to be consistently covered by all sorts of marks, bruises and everything in between. And it'll only be a matter of time until they figure it out. She wonders how they'll react, if it'll be fun to watch or if it'll be annoying. Will they cause a commotion? Will they accept it?

She raises her hands and rubs her fingers into her temples as she lazily lays in her bed.

She's missing breakfast. Claudia went without her. She's not hungry and if anything, all she really desires is a quick, liquid breakfast in the form of coffee. So she figures she can stay in bed a bit longer, enjoy the emptiness of their room for a while. To lay and think some more, as if that's not all she's been doing for the past two weeks.

There's a shift at the foot of her bed, by her feet so she lifts her head and takes her eyes to find Gizmo making himself comfy on her legs. Curling up into a ball, waving his tail and letting off vibrations from his stomach.

"Do you mind?" she asks, looking down at him irritatingly making himself at home on her legs. Snug and dipping his head between the gaps of her shins. He's heavy, he's old and he's eaten a lot in his life so while he's nice and comfy on her, she's feeling the excessive weight of his belly. And so just to be annoying herself, spiteful almost, in a completely unnecessary way, she lifts her legs and he tumbles off her, landing on the bed.

She giggles hearing him mewl loudly and hiss at her. "Teaches you not to use me as a bed when you have a perfectly good one over there, doesn't it?" He doesn't respond, ignores her and turns his head to look away. He's old but still a baby. Still acts childish.

Gianna lifts herself up and rests her back against the headboard of her bed. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she hugs herself, tightly, letting her back arch and stretch then click. Gizmo is purring loudly, filling the comforting silence of the room and this is when Gianna realises she should probably go and get the liquid breakfast she was thinking about.

It's rounding at ten a.m.— breakfast will be over soon. Better make haste.

Claudia had asked if they could go to Hogsmeade for the day and although Gianna was the least bit interested, she agreed, gods know why. Supposes it's an escape from the castle for a bit, gives her something to do, something to occupy her time.

So she hurries in getting herself ready. Throwing on a pair of old jeans and a knitted jumper, nothing special. Fixes her hair, brushes her teeth and paces down to the Great Hall just in time to catch Claudia still sitting at their table and eating her breakfast. Gianna keeps her eyes down and takes a seat next to her friend, grabbing herself a hot cup of coffee as she does.

"I was wondering when you were going to join me, have a nice lazy morning in bed?" Claudia barely even looks up from her plate of toast as she speaks, taking a bite simultaneously. "Some fifth-year girls got into an argument about something, so there was a commotion, I will be finding out what it's over, don't you worry."

"I don't expect anything less." Gianna clutches onto her cup with both hands and holds it up close to her lips. Letting the smell drift up to her nose, salivating at it, feeling the steam rise to her face.

"I'll finish my toast and we can go down," Claudia turns her head to Gianna and smiles brightly, cheerfully, too happily for the morning. "Is that okay?" she takes another bite, a bit obnoxiously done.

"Sure." Gianna takes a sip, relishing in the taste and the caffeine that surges through her almost instantly. It gives her the energy she needs.

~*~

"Two Butterbeers, please." She smiles politely as she orders.

Gianna shifts her weight from one foot to another, tapping her fingers on top of the counter. She focuses on the drumming, trying to find a decent beat in the action, working out if it's to a song that's stuck in her head or if it's just something made-up. She nibbles on her bottom lip as she does and it's a distraction from the people surrounding her. The stuffy and overcrowded place that she wishes she wasn't in.

But the sound of her finger on the wood helps. Engrossed in it.

So much so she's almost forgotten where she is and is startled when two glasses of Butterbeer are placed in front of her. She smiles softly to the grumpy looking barman and exchanges her galleons before turning on her heels and walking away without much being said. His sour face wasn't entirely welcoming, so she didn't want to say anything else to him anyway.

She probably has the same expression though. The annoyance in how Claudia made _her_ go and get the drinks while she sits at a table, looking at her perfectly manicured nails.

As she gets closer, Claudia looks up. "You know, you could look a bit happier to be spending time with me." She jests as Gia takes a seat opposite.

"I am happy." Gianna looks down at the full drink in front and continues biting her lip. Her fingernails find a rhythm against the glass again like she did at the bar and it sends a small, faint ringing sound around the table.

"You're _really_ persuading me." Claudia makes a light scoff and Gianna can hear her taking a sip of her drink. The butterbeer swirling in her glass as she does before the sound of it being put back on the table and Claudia sighing, heavily. "Are you okay, Gia? You've been off, and I'm not referring to your usual moody arse self. It's something different."

Giannas turn to sigh. Painfully. Woodenly.

"I'm— I just have a lot on my mind at the moment that's all." She swooshes her drink around her own glass and watches the foam dissolve. Thinks maybe it's a reflection of what's going on inside her. In her stomach. In her mind. Because no matter the expectant delirium she's about to feel —when she agrees to both boys— its the fucking niggling still swimming in her.

"I know I keep saying this, but it will get better." Claudia gives a sympathetic smile when Gianna raises her gaze back to her. "Everyones feeling the same and everyone's recovering. Even the Slytherins are making some effort in moving on."

"What do you know?" Her tone sounds too interested, too obvious. But she doesn't stop. "About the Slytherins?"

Claudia quirks a brow but smiles more. "Well they're having therapy is what I heard, having sessions with someone from St. Mungos. He apparently learnt from a muggle psychiatrist, they wanted someone muggle-born so they can learn to be more accepting." Claudia shrugs her shoulders and takes a sip of her drink while her eyes stick to Gianna. Gia already knows this though, Pansy told her. "Speaking of which, someone said they saw Draco Malfoy storming out of McGonagall's office the other day, overheard Theodore Nott trying to calm him down."

Gianna keeps her lips together, showing no sign of interest before speaking. "Oh?" She holds her glass to her mouth, closely. Both hands wrapped around it.

"I guess that it's about their parents, most of them have been put in Azkaban. But who knows, I doubt we'll ever find out, they're all very—," mid-sentence Claudia looks up higher and over Gianna's shoulder. "Oh, and here they are. Do you think they knew we were talking about them? Burning ears and felt summoned." Claudia giggles and Gianna turns her head to the door that's opening.

Through the small gaps in the pub, between the mix of people standing and sitting at different tables, Gianna watches as Malfoy, Theo and Pansy walk in. They're all laughing, smiling and looking happy and it makes Gianna wonder if it's real. If they are feeling like that or if it's a façade. If therapy is working and they or they're simply putting on a show.

She notices Pansy leading the way and she can see the boys following her closely. They saunter through the pub to a table on the other side of the room, in a far corner away from everyone else.

Gianna bites her lip again then swallows. A flush of heat forming on her chest as she looks at them. Now her decision is final, she's just waiting for the right time to tell them. Separately.

"Gia? Earth to Gia?"

Gianna turns her head, quickly back to Claudia. The girl who's staring at her with narrow eyes and the tiniest hint of a smile on her lips.

"So interested in the Slytherins, aren't you?" Her lips curl higher.

"You literally just pointed them out to me, I was only looking." Gianna shrugs it off and crosses her legs under the table, trying to relax her demeanour.

"I don't know, some things aren't adding up to me. A few unanswered questions." Claudia knows something. Gianna's leg bounces under the table. "Tell me, babe, what happened at that party?"

"What party?" Gianna's voice cracks slightly so she takes another sip of her drink. Makes it last with a long gulp.

"The one at the beginning of the year— in the Slytherin common room." Claudia mirrors her and takes a big swig herself. "Ever since then I've seen some changes in you, more in the way you talk and look at them all. It's obvious Gia, I'm not stupid."

"I don't know what you're talking about Claudia. Why do you keep saying stuff like this? Where does this come from?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because someone told me they saw you heading to a couch after I left that night. Then later saw them two boys over there," Claudia wiggles her finger and points across the room and Giannas eyes follow over to Malfoy and Theo drinking. "Walking towards you." She looks back and Claudia raises her brow further. "Did something happen that you're not telling me?"

Gianna hesitates, thinks, but quickly rolls her eyes and laughs. "Claudia, can you blame me for being interested when you give me so much information all the time? If you'd shut up about them for one minute, I probably wouldn't even have them in my mind." She's praying that Claudia believes her. "Nothing happened at that party." Another joking roll of her eyes and she's practically begging inside her head.

"Why don't I believe you?" Claudia purses her lips to take another sip of her drink and Gianna realises that they are in some sort of competition. Who will break first? Who will give up? Who will blink before the other does?

"I don't know Claudia, why don't you believe me?" Gianna smirks. Heart racing. Fake confidence, it has to work. Please, let it work.

"Because you were out that entire night? Or could it maybe be the defensive way you stood up for them at breakfast that one time?" Claudia shrugs her shoulders, smugly and finally breaks the stare to look down at the swirling drink in her glass again. It's taunting behaviour. "Ah, it also could be how someone saw you leaving the library the other night, with—," she pauses with a fake look of contemplation on her face. "Wait, what did they describe it as again?"

Claudia smiles with a shit-eating grin.

Gianna sucks in her cheek and bites it hard.

"Yes, freshly fucked hair and a certain brunette, Slytherin boy next to you?"

"Shit," Gianna mutters under her breath. "Fuck." Kicks herself for being so stupid for walking around the school with him before curfew. Why didn't she think about other people seeing them?

"So it's true!" Claudia almost slams her drink down on the table. Eyes growing wider. Smile stretching up her cheeks. "Did you shag Theodore Nott at that party?" Claudia gasps and her hand moves up to cover her mouth. "And then in the library?"

"Well, maybe—"

"Gianna!" She squeals loudly and Gianna feels the prickle of eyes hitting the back of her neck.

"Claudia!" She cringes at the attention Claudia has brought to their table. "Please— please be quiet." She places her glass on the table and drops her head into the palms of her hands as her elbows prop her up.

"I— well I can't fucking believe it. So that party and the library, I was right! Is there anything else you want to tell me?" Claudia looks at her eagerly, attentively. Gianna exhales, realising it's a lost cause trying to pretend anymore. "Come on, Gia, spit it out."

"Fine." She grimaces and prepares herself with an unknowing of what reaction she's about to receive. She needs to say it, she's already half in and it's up to her knees. Might as well let the water cover her completely and drown in it. "It wasn't just Theo— at that party—"

"What?! Wait, what?" she stammers. "Did you— who else? Oh— oh, oh! Did you fuck Malfoy too?" Mouth agape, astonished, clearly putting two and two together.

Gianna squeezes her eyes shut and whines. "Yes, but please—"

Then Claudia makes a noise that Gianna swears only dogs should be able to hear. A scream so loud, Gianna can't tell if it's in horror or excitement. And she wishes she could just disappear into thin air from the embarrassment. Hoping people aren't watching them but she knows it's highly unlikely.

"I need all the details!" Claudia finally speaks in a high pitch before her voice eventually lowers. "Who, what, when, where, why and how— right this very minute!" She starts to clap her hands and Gianna wants to bang her head on the table— over and over and over again.

"Please be quiet." Gianna groans some more and lifts her head to see a fiery-eyed Claudia, grinning brightly.

"Gianna," she dips her head in closer to Gia and over the table, hushing her words. "Why didn't you tell me? I'm your best friend."

"I— I was scared you were going to judge me. I mean— it's very scandalous, wouldn't you say?" Gianna can feel the heat rising on her cheeks and her palms growing clammy.

"Never! Quite the opposite really, it's amazing, I'm so fucking jealous of you!" she slams her hands on the table again and rises out of her seat, pushing it backwards enthusiastically. "I'm going to grab us another drink and when I come back you need to tell me everything!"

She huffs. Groans quietly and calls quits on refusal. Accepts it.

So Gianna tells her. Everything and every detail, just like she asked and from the very beginning. From when she was interrupted while drinking her stolen bottle of Firewhiskey to sitting on the couch with them. How they danced together for a little while before all going up to the boys' room. Gianna tries her best to keep some things vague, wanting to maintain some secrecy but when she's bombarded with question upon question, she realises its a lost cause.

She spills out the truth while the drinks aggressively flow down her throat. She chugs the Butterbeers down, and the words pour out. All while looking for a sense of the confidence in the liquids she's consuming, answering every question from that fateful night with slight protest.

"Who was bigger? What position did you do?"

"Stop—"

"Who went first?"

"Please—"

"Did you come? Were they good? Did they come? Did you cast the charm?"

They make their way into their third round of Butterbeer. Gianna loosens up. Claudia moves on from the night to other days and encounters.

"So the library with Nott is true?"

"Yeah." She bites her lip.

"And you and Malfoy were the boy and girl caught snogging in the corridor? Then you went fucked in a classroom?"

"Mhmm." She nods.

The conversation moves on again and Gianna and Claudia don't realise that it's slowly growing darker outside, the day growing shorter.

"And he said he wanted to give you more?"

"That's what he said."

"And he wants to spend more time with you? Does he like you?"

"Yeah, and I have no idea."

Gianna grabs them a fourth round of drinks. Almost necessary by this point. The pub is still just as crowded and the Slytherins are still in the corner. She sees a collection of glasses on their table and that they've been joined by two others. But her mind is on drinking another large glass, so she doesn't linger, moves swiftly on.

"Who's better?"

"Hard to say. They're both—"

"Who's the better kisser?"

"Again, I can't tell. They're different."

"When did you last _see_ them?"

"Two weeks ago."

"How is this going to work?"

"I don't know."

"You're spoilt for choice." Claudia leans back in her chair, relaxing, having finished another glass. "Are you going to tell them? Do they know?"

Gianna swigs down the remains of her fourth Butterbeer too and places the empty glass on the table, next to their own growing collection of others. Feeling a buzz in her head and a tingle in her fingers, a lazy smile curls on her lips.

"I have no idea. I think I'm just going to see what happens. I will tell you this though, I'm not as miserable amongst all this." Gianna shrugs her shoulders and leans back in her chair.

"I've noticed." Claudia raises her brows and giggles.

"They're definitely proving to be a good distraction and an outlet for— for whatever is going on in here." She lifts two fingers tap at the side of her temple as she speaks, slurring slightly.

She sighs, there's silence and her eyes lifts to meet Claudia's.

They stare at each other for a second in this silence, not knowing what to say but Gianna notices the curve on Claudia's lips and she can feel her own moving too. Then all at once Claudia bursts into fits of laughter and Gianna joins, smiling widely and spluttering.

"I'm so messed up." Gianna covers her face with both hands and shakes her head at herself.

"No— no you're not. This is just crazy but not messed up. I mean, who would've thought, _you_ , of _all_ people would be in a situation like this. Was there anyone over summer you slept with twice?" Claudia tries to steady her breathing, slowing down the staggers in her inhales.

"No." Gianna shakes her head again and laughs some more. Because it is so strange. She purposely avoided ever seeing any of them again, she didn't like attachment, she wanted separation from her escapades. But now she's doing the complete opposite, and they're sitting across the room from her.

"Gia you're so funny. I'm glad you've told me. I wasn't judgemental was I?"

"No, I suppose not. Sorry for not telling you."

"It's fine, babe. But now I need constant updates, yeah?"

Gianna nods and lets out a sigh of relief, feeling an instant weight fall off her shoulders she didn't know was there. The trepidation from within disappearing and a somewhat contentment replacing it.

The girls chat and gossip for a moment longer when they finally decide —after one more drink— that it's probably time to head back to their dorm.

They giggle and stumble up from their seats. Linking up— arm in arm, uncaring of who's watching, they push their way through the mix of witches and wizards that have gathered throughout their long day, slowly finding their way to the door in the maze of people.

Locals are being rowdy around them. People are cheering joyfully and there's a faint sound of music playing. And for once, Gianna feels happy too, elated and she can't stop smiling.

More so when she catches the eyes of two Slytherins in the corner. Sparkling green and grey eyes that are just as enticing as themselves when they stare back at her. Hypnotising her as they have before, controlling her and making her come to a stop. She feels like time stands still, she's frozen with it when they exchange their glances. Only remembering where she is when she feels the tug on her arm from Claudia, the brush of someone walking past her and her pulse quickening.

They smile, both of them. At her.

She smiles back and blood rushes to her cheeks.

But she's dragged out of the pub and their exchange comes to an interrupted end.

She's smacked with cold, autumn air in the face. Hitting her chest, flowing along her skin and into her lungs. Her body cools down, taking away the sudden rise of heat she just felt and she snaps back to reality. Claudia pulls her close and they wander back to the school.

But when the wind blows and hits her again, she realises something.

That they both smiled. Both of them. Together.

What if they know?

~*~

**19th October 1998**

Gianna leaves her Charms classroom, sighing to herself and muttering about something Terry said. Irritated and stressed thinking about how much she wishes he would just shut up and stop asking questions for once in his life. But she takes a deep breath and calms herself down.

Carefully slipping her way through the bundles of students around her, she steps with the balls of her feet in a way that could almost be described as elegant. She heads down the corridor and in the direction of the library hoping for a chance to catch up on her work. And for the first time in a while, she doesn't feel completely claustrophobic. She feels like she can breathe, the gaps seem bigger and she isn't being knocked around. She can easily make her way through.

She smiles to herself.

But maybe it's a thought too soon.

"Hey, Mysterious Girl!"

Gia looks over her shoulder to see Pansy pacing towards her with a light breezy skip in her step, her hips swaying and her hair bouncing around her shoulders. Utter confidence oozing from her and Gia wishes she had the same.

"I've been looking for you, where have you been?" Pansy links her arm around Gia's, pulling her close and they walk together through the halls of the school. "You really are a mysterious girl aren't you?"

"I've been around," Gianna shrugs and laughs quietly. Still finding it hard to believe that Pansy is wanting to be friends with her. That she's linking her arm with her. That she's been looking for her. Although it's quite obvious as to why Pansy has been looking for her —to get answers— Gianna asks anyway. "Why have you been looking for me?"

"Gianna, you know exactly why I have been looking for you. I'm consistent in my endeavour of revealing the truth to put it eloquently. And I'm fucking bored— there's no good gossip at the moment other than your situation." Pansy laughs and Gianna can feel her tugging her arm, leading the way. "So? A name please," she speaks tunefully, playfully.

"Maybe one day." Gianna plays along.

"Oh, you're a little tease," Pansy smirks and pulls Gianna again. "Well, my boys still aren't saying anything, like usual they're all being dickless fuckers. They're even acting like they don't know what I'm talking about." She scoffs as she speaks and Gianna smiles knowing that she's not the only one going through this painful process of being probed. "I just want to know, is that too much to ask for?"

_Yes._

"No, but I'm sorry, I'm not giving up a name." Gia holds her lip between her teeth, not wanting to agitate Pansy. "It's staying with me."

"If we're going to be friends my dear Gianna, you're going to need to tell me the truth eventually." Pansy starts to pull Gianna quicker and in the wrong direction. She's being pulled to the Great Hall instead of the library. "But, if you're not going to tell me now, or any time soon, then I have a plan." She giggles mischievously and Gia's brows furrow with nervousness and confusion.

"What do you mean? A plan?" Gia almost trips up from the quickened pace. The grip tightening around her arm.

"Oh, you'll see honey."

After a few corners, and one last corridor they find themselves outside the Great Hall half full with a few students using it for study space. Gia barely gets to look around or say a word in protest, before she finds herself being dragged to the head of the Slytherin table, where four wizards in emerald green ties are sitting. They're all laughing and making jokes when Pansy coughs to alert them of her presence, pulling Gia to face them.

Immediately her eyes fall on a pair of forest greens then move to a pair of snowy silvers.

She sucks in a deep breath realising what Pansy is doing, what she's done.

She tries her best to not laugh, to not smile or look at the two boys she knows too well. Ignores the way she knows they're looking at her too, their faces in a similar confusion but with the hint of a smirk. Instead, she takes her eyes to the other two boys sitting across from them.

Recognising Adrian straight away, she looks to the other. Dark-skinned and handsome, short hair and there's a hint of stubble growing on his chin. His black and green robes neatly over his shoulders and tie perfectly in place. She remembers seeing him around, but not very often, remembers his name from classes and conversations with Pansy. Blaise Zabini. And she can't help but think about how very good looking he is and she wonders if being beautiful is a requirement in the Slytherin house.

"Boys." Pansy nods to them and flashes her smile before turning to look at Gia. "This is Gianna, she's coming to sit with me— and you lot while we study." Pansy takes her eyes back to the boys and it's a look that's telling them, they have no choice in the matter.

"Pansy, I really should go—" Gianna attempts to argue. Feeling a heat on her cheeks and sweat in her palms.

"Nonsense." Pansy interrupts. "You're going to stay with me. That's okay, isn't it boys?" That playful smile and tone are still there, she knows what she's doing and Gia is hating it. It's forced and uncomfortable

Gianna watches as Pansy studies the boys' reactions, to see who's blushing, who's smiling the most but they would all be exceptional poker players. The only one to react is Adrian, and Pansy huffs in disappointment.

"Gianna, don't let Pans boss you around. You don't have to stay if you don't want to." Adrian smiles as he talks in the same friendly, welcoming way he was the other week.

"Shut it, Adrian," she shoots him a glare, so he doesn't ruin her plan. "Gianna, come, take a seat." Pansy makes her way around the table to sit between Adrian and Blaise, then points to the other side. "Draco, Theo, make room for Gianna will you please? Let's make her feel included."

She hesitates and picks at the skin on her cuticles, discreetly. Stuck in her spot on the floor.

"Yeah, Gianna, come— take a seat." She drags her eyes up and to Theo as he smiles at her, no— smirks at her, mischievously and gesturing to the space between him and Malfoy.

Her heart skips a beat.

She wipes the palms of her hands against her robes.

She wants the floor to open up and swallow her whole at this point. To fall into an abyss and descend happily. To disappear into a pit of nothingness that would be far better than this.

She doesn't know if she can pretend, not when she's being made to sit between them. When there's a slight tremble in her fingers and an ache in her stomach.

She's even praying that Death Eaters come and take over the school again. For Dementors to fly in and suck her soul. Something, anything that would give her an excuse to be away from this. Please.

"Theo, that's so kind and welcoming of you," Pansy remarks and raises her brows, clear suspicion but Theo isn't stupid.

"Well like you said Pans, make your new friend feel included." He smiles back, nonchalantly and again, Pansy huffs. Gianna admires her enthusiasm to find out the truth but it's not going to be an easy task and it's making things excruciatingly painful.

She reluctantly rounds the table and scoots down in between the boys, feeling her shoulders knock their own.

"So Gianna is it?" Theo faces her, smiling brightly.

But all she can think about is the last time they were together.

The library. His hands. Hips lips. She swallows. She wants it again. Naturally.

She can feel more blood rushing to her cheeks and the need for a cold shower overcoming her again. Without even thinking her hands holding onto her knees under the table and her fingers rub circles over the skin and bone. Keeping her down, keeping her levelled. She's thinking that if she's quick enough, she could just up and run. Sprint out of the hall and not look back. But she knows she can't.

No, she _can't_. She won't.

She's not going to. She tells herself to pull it together. She's not going to let this situation control her. So instead, she takes a deep breath and pretends she's had some liquid confidence. Settles her heart, releases her knees and places her hands confidently on top of the table.

"Yeah," she turns to him on the right of her, mirroring his smile. "And— Theo, right?" her eyes drop for a quick moment before lifting to his face again.

"That's me." He copies, eyeing her down. "Nice to meet you, darling."

Then she feels something. A faint brush of his fingers against the outside of her thigh, by her knee. She lets him, welcoming it without thinking and tilts her knee closer to him. Under the table and hidden away. He begins to slowly trace a path up her leg, tiny amounts at a time.

"How do you, _unfortunately_ , know Pansy?" She turns to her left to see Malfoy talking to her now, but he's straight-faced and showing nothing in his expression, apart from a small sparkle waiting to strike in his eyes.

But she doesn't have a chance to reply.

"Shut the fuck up Draco." Pansy quickly interjects, upping her defences. "She knows me because I'm not that much of a bitch, I do have friends other than you knob-heads." Gianna holds back a laugh and Malfoy's brows furrow towards Pansy.

"I somehow find that hard to believe." he jeers and Pansy scoffs at him. "Plus, Gianna here seems, too— innocent to be friends with you." He's playing with her. Tormenting her like he's done before. All without looking at her.

"Oh, Gianna isn't innocent." Pansy once again cuts in.

_"She's not wrong."_

Gianna hears something, words whispered like there's someone by her ear and echoing inside her. But no one's lips have moved. Goosebumps form and she ignores it.

"And how would you know Pans?" Theo's fingers rise up to her skirt as he speaks. Gianna takes her eyes to look at Pansy. Biting back a shift in her seat, holding onto how she's getting hotter and hotter when his fingers delicately toy with the hem of her skirt.

"Ah, you see, this is the girl I've been telling you all about," Pansy smirks and doesn't look at Gianna, instead she looks at Theo and Malfoy before turning to look at Blaise.

Adrian sighs, lowering his head into his book, uninterested.

"I don't know why you're looking at me, Pans." Blaise keeps his eyes down on his textbook too, hardly partaking in the conversation around him. "It wasn't me."

Pansy quirks a brow to the boys on either side of Gianna instead, giving them her sole attention. Gia can almost hear the ticking inside her brain as she works it out. She can also hear the ticking of a bomb waiting to go off, second by second, waiting for an inevitable blow.

"Oh, you're the girl Pansy caught sneaking out of our common room. Tell us, Gianna—" Theo plays along. He props his elbow on the table and leans his head into his hand to look at her. "Whose room were you leaving? I think we're all exceedingly eager to know."

"Gianna's not the type," Malfoy says sternly, assertively. "She doesn't look like the type of girl to be leaving boys rooms like that. Are you sure this is the right girl Pansy?"

_"Can't have her knowing."_

Gianna swallows, hearing it again. The screaming of a whisper inside her head. An almost unfamiliar voice in a teasing tone, but she quickly realises who it is.

_"Tap your finger if you can hear me."_

She does, against the wood of the table. Feeling her heart pound and rattle in its cage.

" _Good."_

Then she feels Theo's fingers again, which are almost at her hip.

While Malfoy is in her head, talking to her.

Pansy frowns. Gianna doesn't know what to do.

And this is all happening as Blaise and Adrian pay no attention and scribble notes with their quills, reminding Gianna she has an essay to write. That she's supposed to be in the library meeting Claudia.

"Yes, this is the girl. What are you two doing?" Pansy snaps at the boys, loudly and Gianna can hear the agitation in her voice. "You're making it seem like it wasn't either of you but that it was you at the same time!" Pansy groans, realising she's being messed around. "Am I missing something here?"

"Just let it go Pans." Adrian looks up from his book to Gianna and the boys before looking down again. But Gianna doesn't miss it, a turn in the corner of his lips.

"Maybe Gianna wants to keep it a secret." Malfoy sits up straight. "Why would she want to tell you anything? You'd probably go and tell your little followers."

_"Have you thought about it?"_

Fuck, he's there again, he's wanting an answer. How is he doing this so easily? So calmly, while they're being incessantly interrogated. She's almost shaking and the fake confidence she's trying to portray is failing miserably. Yet he's there not even flinching, not batting an eye, not even looking at her.

"I wouldn't tell anyone, you lot are the only ones who know." Pansy bites the inside of her cheek and crosses her arms over her chest. "Gianna trusts me."

Gianna parts her lips and a breath leaves her, "I—" but she's interrupted again.

"Pans, why would Gianna trust you? She barely knows you." Theo's still looking at her, as he speaks. Smirking at her and burning a hole into her, his fingers reaching the outline of her knickers. He's being deliberately obvious, he's taking part in the game. It's working.

_"You haven't answered me. Tap again if you've thought about it."_

Her breath catches in her throat again and her finger follows the order, confirming.

_"Good, we'll talk."_

She bites her lip. What is going on? She's being attacked from both sides, she's helpless. Theo on her thigh, Malfoy in her head.

_"I'll find you."_

She taps again as if she's giving him the all-clear. It was uncontrollable and yet she's filling with growing anticipation.

She flutters to Pansy as she continues with her defensive strategy against the attack she's also facing from the boys. That's all completely different to the one Gianna is struggling with. "Maybe because I'm trustworthy. You all trust me." She's practically whining, realising she's not winning.

"We only trust you because we have no other choice." Blaise finally talks, but still, doesn't peer up. "You'd kill us otherwise— if we didn't tell you things."

"Perfectly said Mr Zabini." Theo cheers in agreement. "We're terrified of you Pans, shaking in our boots." He jests with sarcasm lacing his tone.

"Well, I don't believe you, if you did _actually_ trust me you'd tell me which one of you knows Gianna." She's unending. Gianna wonders if she'll ever tire and if the only way to move on is to tell her.

"Fucking hell Pansy, drop it." Draco's tone grows in anger and Gianna flinches, watching his eyes roll in annoyance as he exasperates. Theo simply laughs to the left of her, finding amusement when she's feeling discomfort.

"So irritated." Pansy leers, liking the reaction she received. "Don't like me prying? Is that because it was you?"

"No, I just don't like you talking in general." Malfoy sighs.

"People, people, please— we have a guest." Theo throws another dashing smile to Gianna in another all too obvious way, the blush on her cheeks doesn't disappear and she can't stop a smile curling on her own lips when she looks at him. "No one wants to hear you two arguing again."

"We're not arguing, just having a conversation," Pansy argues against his statement.

"That makes me want to use an unforgivable." Draco settles the argument.

"Fuck off, Draco. Go wank it off your foul mood." Pansy smirks and Gianna notices him smile back realising it's all spirited bickering. "Gianna," Pansy draws her attention back to her. "Sorry for constantly asking but as you can tell, these boys are giving me nothing here and the unruly gossip in me is crying."

"It's fine, honestly." Gianna softens and forces a half-smile.

"See!" Pansy elates, smugly looking at the boys. A winning look covering her face.

"I don't believe you, darling." Theo shows his disbelief in his tone along with his playful edge as he directs himself to Gianna still. "Just tell her to fuck off, that's what you're thinking, isn't it? Do it." He winks at her and his fingers slip over the top of her thigh and dip into the small gap between the two. She wants to rub them together, partly wanting him to stop when they're around other people but he doesn't let her and she can feel him keeping them open.

"She's not going to tell me to fuck off, because she actually likes me."

"No one likes you, Pansy." Draco quips.

"Gianna does."

"I do." Gianna slides in, quietly and instinctively. Feeling the need to help her out, come to her aid as they both fight against the boys.

Theo's thumb presses into the other side of her thigh and he squeezes her. She holds in a squeak just letting out a quiet sound from the back of her throat. She was unprepared, but how she adores it, his hands on her.

"Ha!" Pansy shouts out, boasting. "In your fucking face Draco Malfoy."

"But I really should get going now." Gianna winces, knowing Pansy will attempt to get her to stay, will work hard to ensure she does. But Gianna doesn't want to stay, because even though she's enjoying the bizarre show in front of her and around her, she really does feel unnerved and there really is an essay she should be writing.

"So soon?" Pansy frowns again. Theo's hand leaves her and she instantly feels the lack of his touch and the cool air in his place. "You've only just got here."

"I have an essay to write and that's where I was going before—"

"See Pans, you scared her off." Draco sneers. Gianna looks at him and he turns to look back at her too. His grey stormy eyes flash but it's only for a quick moment, not giving her another second before swiftly dropping them back down to the opened book she didn't realise was there.

"No— no she didn't scare me off, I just have—"

"Gianna?"

They all twist their faces to the end of the Slytherin table.

To Claudia, who is standing there, almost gormless and confused, interrupting them. Gianna sees Claudia's eyes search around the group of Slytherins that have trapped her in their snake pit and a distinct hidden smile curves at the corner of her mouth. Gia knows she's trying not to laugh. She also notes the lingering, shy glance to Adrian, who just so happens to be smiling back at Claudia.

Gianna lets out a sigh of relief, feeling like she's being rescued.

"I thought you were going to be in the library?" Claudia asks, tilting her head and widening her eyes in a way that shows Gianna she means, _'what the fuck is going on.'_

"I was." Gianna presses her lips into a fine line and ignores the rest of the group around them, trying to cancel them out. "I'm coming now."

"Okay.'' Claudia nods and shifts her weight from one foot to another, twiddling her thumbs and avoiding further eye contact. She's trying to hide her bewildered smile with no idea what she's just walked into but it's obvious and plastered on her face. She's finding it funny, it'll definitely be the topic of conversation tonight.

"You're stealing her away from us." Theo charms, not taking his gaze from Gianna as she rises from her seat. Claudia bites harshly on her bottom lip and a small squeak comes from her as she watches. "We were just getting to know her."

"Oh, really? Sorry." Claudia giggles slightly and Gianna looks around the table as she slowly lifts from her seat. Catching eyes with Malfoy one last time, he gives her a cordial nod and raises his eyebrows.

_"I'll find you."_

He repeats again, the sound of his voice resounding in her mind.

Gianna swallows and nods back. With haste, she moves up and away from the bench and out of the gap between the boys to quickly pace around to Claudia. Whose arm she grabs into her own and pulls away from the table without another word being said. Avoiding any awkward goodbyes, further probing from Pansy and charming smiles from Theo, without wanting Malfoy to enter her head again, she sets off and drags Claudia out of the hall and into the corridors of the school. Far away from the disaster she just found herself in.

Finally, she breathes.

After feeling like she's held her breath for the entire time of being sat on that wooden bench between the two boys that are always playing around in her mind. After the touching from Theo on her legs that she already somewhat misses and the whispers inside her head from Malfoy making her wonder what else he can do.

"What was that all about?" Claudia lets out the laugh she was holding in as she knocks into the side of Gianna when they finally come to a stop.

"A form of torture."

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter seems messy and rushed please tell me. I feel like I might not have spent enough time on it.


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